The hot dog vendor laughs, "Is that all? So how would you like your
wiener?"
"R-r-r-wee-nerrrrrrrrr?" you growl. Doesn't this guy understand?
He lowers his tongs into the dark opening in his cart. Cold metal
clamps around your cock inside your shorts. You let out a yelp. The
vendor lifts a suspicious looking sausage out of his steaming cart and
sets it on a bun. Your crotch noticeably deflates.
"Rut dru fruck?"
"I do enjoy your Scooby Doo impersonation. Didn't realize werewolves
really sounded like that, but then in the park we normally only get
weredogs, and they speak proper English," the vendor remarked holding
your bun wrapped sausage in front of him.
You pull open your trousers and look inside.
The vendor chuckles. "Don't believe your own eyes, eh?"
"Rare rar mry bralls?"
"Oh, I'm only the Wiener Wizard. Balls? Well, they're the province
of Mario, the Meatball King. I swear that cheesy, lazy wizard has set
up his ball collection spell so it activates every time I get another
wiener."
"Prut it brak!" you growl menacingly.
"Gladly, big bad, all you gotta do is pay for it."
'
"H'row mruch ris yror rife rworf?"
"Haha, no seriously? I'm a wizard. You're a werewolf. You're lucky
I didn't grind you into sausages just now. Remember the Wizard of Oz,
the wizard sent Dorothy on a quest? Well, that's how wizard's get paid
with the prizes heroes collect on their quest."
"Bruttt rits mrine-ru stroll rit!"
"Technicalities won't get your crotch tented. Tell you what not only
will I put your cock back, I'll give you the ability to control your
wolf curse so you're not at the mercy of the moon. If you like I'll
even cure you. The balls- you have to ask Mario about those. He's at
the Italian Restaurant in the middle of the Park. Oh, the quest I
forgot to tell you your quest didn't I?"
"The rizard of roz ras ra frake!"
"Except I'm not a fake, I just used him as an illustration cause you
don't look like you ever read Tolkein or played D&D."
"Rall right, rut dru ru raunt?"
"That's better - oh, I know I shouldn't give away a freebee, but I
just can't take this Scooby Doo act any longer. MSG, a pinch of salt,
fix this werewolf's voice to speak proper English - kazzaam!"
"Rut? What? Now why perchance did you have to phrase your spell in
that particular manner, sir? Are you suicidal? Truly a werewolf
shouldn't sound as if he graduated Oxford and is more likely to want
to have tea with Red Riding Hood, and have sex with the big hunky
woodsman. Did you turn me into a fagot as well?"
"No, I suspect any gayness you're sensing is due entirely to your
missing balls. Mario's a bit light in the loafers if you ask me, but
don't tell him I said so. I'll see if I can undo that if you return
successfully from your quest. Now be off?"
"Rut qrest?!"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you? Bring me the breadmaker of the Wicked
Witch of the Gingerbread House. I'm running out of buns for my cart,"
the wiener wizard explains.
"RUT? RU RAUNT BRUNS? RO TROOK MRY DRICK FROR BRUNS?"
"Well, I could have taken your buns, but it would have made it hard
for you to sit, walk or run, and then how would you get to the
Gingerbread House? By the way it's that way, just follow the the signs
to Candy Land."
"Rrruckring hrot drog vrendor," you mutter as you follow the path.