"I am not a girl," India/Dylan thought. "I do not want to be a girl. Just because I dress in girl's clothing once and awhile, does not mean I am or want to be a girl."
Keeping her eyes closed, India/Dylan slowly counted to ten, stopped and then counted to ten again, forgetting how to count to thirty and that she wanted to count that high, hoping the scene she had been greeted with when she had come home and, at her mother's behest, gone to her room to change her clothes from school to play.
Slowly she reached down, tracing the bib-overalls, knowing them to be a medium purple colour and have eight, heart-shaped buttons...two in the front to appear as clasps and three on each side of her thighs...liking the way they felt and how soft the cotton fabric was.
When she reached the area between her legs, and still feeling only the normal genitals of a seven year old girl, India snapped her eyes open, brushed a strand of dark blonde hair off of her round, young face and looked about the room, her hand drifting to the pile of stuffed animals on her bed, and picking up a plush penguin from the pile.
Cradling Penny Penguin close, India thought about sucking her thumb, something she hadn't done in almost three years, as she took in the bright blues, pinks and purples that her room was decorated in.
Beneath her was a large, pink and bluish-purple Hello Kitty comforter and she knew that beneath that was a set of matching sheets. Next to the bed she sat on was a nightstand with a lamp that looked like Hello Kitty, who was holding what appeared to be a pole extending up to the main light fixture.
Sliding off her bed, her bib-overalls sliding up a bit, exposing the simple white socks she had changed into, while at the same time pressing in her privates and reminding her of what was between her legs, India looked at the dresser, the vanity that she knew contained toy make-up products and some perfume like mommy wore and the full-length mirror her memories said that she liked to play dress-up in front of.
"I'm in hell," India/Dylan thought, suddenly reminding herself that her name was Dylan.
Hugging the penguin plush close, she again thought, "I am in hell," and then added, "A girly, feminine hell. I am being punished for dressing in girl's clothes and this is my punishment."
Unable to stand being in the room much longer, India/Dylan cradled Penny Penguin closer...by now the poor thing was practically folded in half with how tight she was clutching it...and skipping over to the door, unaware that she was doing such a thing, India/Dylan asked herself, "How is it possibly for a boy to turn into a girl?
Stepping into the hall, she sorted out her thoughts, but was for the most part overruled by the idea of wanting to play outside before dinner.
Her last thought, before she skipped downstairs to find her shoes, was, "It had to be something in school. Possibly in gym class. Because that is when I first..." and then, grabbing her shoes and coat, she slipped them on and skipped outside, wanting only to play, hopping that Kyla and Xuan where home from Ballet.