“Pardon me for asking, Dr,” I changed the subject, “But are you sure you’re OK after all of that?”
She put the pad down on her knees. “No, not really, to be honest,” she said. “I don’t really think I’d be much help to you today.” A sad look developed on her face. Her cheeks started to tremble. I quickly got up and grabbed her box of tissues off her desk. I handed one to her, and she took it, laughing slightly as she did. “I’m so sorry, Joe,” she said, wiping the tears away from her eyes. “This is unfair to you.”
“No, no, no” I tried to reassure her. “It’s more important that you’re OK,” I said, gently placing my arm around her shoulder. Her sobbing slowed as she kind of leaned back in her chair. She placed her hand on one of mine, patting it in a way to tell me that she was OK.
I sat back down in my chair and waited for her to speak.
“Oh, God,” she said. “It’s just—my whole world was thrown upside down. It’s—I…I just can’t explain why I’m so upset. I mean, how did that happen?” I shrugged my shoulders and quickly realized that wasn’t a good response. “I was so vulnerable. Do you know what it’s like to be that vulnerable?” she asked me.
“No, not really,” I said, unsure if that comment would help.
“No, I suppose you couldn’t,” she said, letting me know I was OK. “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what would’ve happened,” she said. “I mean, suppose I was arrested? It would have been all over the news: Psychiatrist Arrested For Public Nudity. Where would I be then?” The tears were reforming in her eyes. “I would have lost my practice, that’s what. I might have even lost my license! I’d have to go back to Germany just to start over!” She was really upset.
I tried to make her think of something happier. “Were you born in Germany?” I asked.
Sure enough, her tears withdrew from her face. “Yes,” she said. “I moved to this country when I was 7. That’s why my accent is only slight. I am an American citizen, but if something like that happened I would be disgraced.”
“I don’t something like that would happen,” I reassured her. “People who have done much worse seem to find a way to survive.”
She wiped one last tear off her face. “I suppose you’re right,” she said. “I am only 25,” she said, not seeming to be embarrassed that she told me her age. “I’m strong. I could recover.” There was a glint in her eye that told me she had regained her composure.
“Joe, I really have to thank you,” she said. “You were so gallant and…courageous. You kept your cool when I panicked. You really are a special boy.” Despite her flattery, the word “boy” still made my mind cringe in disgust. I would never be anything but a boy to her. Then she said something else that took me totally by surprise. “Why can’t I meet someone my age like you?” Immediately a look of stunned disbelief appeared on her face. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “How was that supposed to have hurt my feelings?”
She gave me a look of knowing. “Joe, I know you’ve been attracted to me in the past.” I gulped hard and tried to crawl under my chair. “But I also knew you would get over it and I thought you had. Now I’m sure you feel that way again, and it’s my fault.”
I calmed myself, as an idea entered my head.