Harvey shook the necklace 3 times as he put it over his neck. He
waited to see what would happen. The cube was shimmering
fantastically. Soon the entire room was enveloped in flashing lights.
He no longer felt the floor under his feet. He seemed to be falling
into the cube while it still hung around his neck.
The casual mathematician might at this juncture discuss Klein Bottles,
and how they are the 3 dimensional version of a Moebius Strip/Band.
The Klein bottle's inside is its outside and so forth - it only has
one side, and this might be used to understand how Harvey could wear
the cube and be inside it simultaneously. It might. There are no
casual mathematicians here. Harvey is grossly bad at maths, as told
by the times he's left tips in bars. He has left as little as 15% and
as much as 66% because he gets confused multiply percentages.
So perhaps it's with some justice that when the flashing lights
stopped Harvey was no longer in his room. He was instead in a bar,
and what a bar!
There were anthropomorphic elephants in shades of pink, green, orange
& blue. Tigers walked upright, and then he saw his reflection, he was
a great white rabbit. The six foot tall variety.
"New here, mate?" asked an elderly turtleman in a bowler hat, "I'm
Tim."
"Tim? I'm Harvey," Harvey blurted out.
There were regular people milling about the bar, but they seemed
oblivious to the strange menagerie sharing the bar.
"What else?" Tim replied with a chuckle.
"No really, I'm Harvey. Is this real?"
"Ah, reality is a bit overrated, but yes it's real. You've never been
to a bar before?"
"Not one with anthropomorphic creatures," Harvey admitted.
"Hm, that does seem a bit unlikely since you are one, and we tend to
frequent bars, taverns and places where liquor is freely dispensed.
Only when humans are drunk can they see us, and can we give the
guidance."
"You're kidding, right?"
"My you have led a sheltered life, Harvey. Let me introduce you round.
We'll find you a human to look after. Lord knows they need it."
"I thought that's what guardian angels did?"
"Oh, you've seen some of those winged wonders? Then you have seem
anthros before. They try to say they're divine, but they're really
just bird men. You had me worried there for a minute. Oh, I can see
how being around those fellows might skew your world view. Let's get
you some carrot juice or beer, and get you acquainted with everyone.
It' not just the so-called angels that guide people. We are their
animal spirit guides."
"Elephant spirit guides?"
"The Republicans tend to congregate at this end of the bar. The
donkeysmen are in the back pool room usually. That swamp creature in
the corner tends to affiliate with the Green Party. You're not
political are you?"
"I guess not," Harvey answered.
Tim the Turtleman had Harvey the Rabbitman's elbow and was guiding him
over to a throng by the bar.
A lion man looked up and roared, "Look, new meat!"
"Please Caesar, be polite, you'll scare Harvey!" protested Tim.
"Scared rabbit? Now there's a stereotype," remarked a badger man.
"So what's the spread, Tony?" a short curly haired man at the bar
asked the bartender as he nursed his bourbon and still water.
The barkeep glanced side-to-side and whispered, "Dallas by 15, put you
down for a dime?"
"Caesar, looks like your human's gambling again," the badger remarked.
Caesar yawned in disgust, "He needs two more drinks before he can see
me or at least before he'll admit it. See he looked at me just now,
and then away. He pretends I'm not here. Dallas indeed! He'd have
better chance buying a dime's worth of Lottery Tickets."
"He's your charge?" Harvey asked.
"One of 'em. You looking for a human to guide? It's not as glamorous
as some would tell you. It's hard and frustrating work. Three weeks
ago, I got this fellow to swear off gambling and now look! I tell you
it's hard and frustrating. Say you want a beer? Barkeep a beer for
my rabbit friend!"
Tony absentmindedly filled a pint of beer and set it on the bar in
front of Harvey.
"Drink up, man!" the lion roared sliding the drink closer to you.
You reach out and feel the cold wet glass against your velvety paw.
You need both paws to grasp it. Being a rabbit man is harder than you
expected, but you manage. You really do need a drink.
The five foot, five lion throws its paw across your shoulders as
Caesar prepares to commiserate about his humans and how much trouble
they can be.
A half hour later, the curly haired guy had downed a couple more
drinks. He muttered, "Caesar since when do you hang out with rabbits?
What's its name Harvey?"
"Why yes my name is Harvey, and you can see me now? I've been sitting
here all evening, and you've been treating me as invisible."
"That's the way it is with 'em, Harv," the lion said.
Two men push there way up to the bar totally ignoring the anthros.