The day had been long, the night even longer, the crowd numerous and the tips poor. I had been worked to the bone, cut by broken bottles and splashed by dishwater off steaming glasses. I don’t think there was a person in the bar who didn’t yell at me for one reason or another. Mostly to just be heard over the obnoxious hip-hop music and the screaming rabble, but also to try to get me to either get them a drink or get the bartender to take their order. Finally after two hours of cleaning I was headed to my car in the freezing night air with only a small fold of green in my pocket to show for my efforts. Like normal I was the last one out of the bar besides the guy who locked up after me.
Grunting and groaning I fished in my pockets for my keys thanking the powers that be that the night was over, but the crunch of gravel made me stop and look back. Momentarily panicked I looked for a sign of a weapon, but instantly recognized the guy as a patron who had been bugging me all night. He had seemed extremely put off when I told him I couldn’t make him a drink and recommended talking to one of the girls working the floor for faster service. Now he was obviously very drunk and looked to be having trouble keeping his footing as he made his way to me. Strangely though, even with the only light coming from the streetlight next to the bar behind him, I could make out his eyes very clearly, as if they were glowing. With a drunken slur he called out to me. “Hey, you! I’ve got a bone tah pick with yah.”
I looked up to the stars and gave a groan of annoyance. “And this is why security is supposed to walk me to my car.” I turned to face the guy and puff myself up as much as I could. “Look sir, I don’t know what you want, but I’m not on the clock right now and just want to go home. If you have a problem you should go see the manager tomorrow. I can give you her number if you—“
He cut me off. “No! Thaz what my bone iz about. All night long you did nuthin I wanted. Nuthin! Almoz tah the point of ignoring me. Soz I think you should be punizshed. Cuz I dun like being ignored. I find it insulting. And nobody insults meee.”
Even with being as drunk as he was, this guy had me beat in both height and weight, and it was obvious he had some muscle tone under that jacket. So I being short and thin was starting to get scared at this point. I took a step back and tried desperately to recall the tae kwon do I did years ago.
“Now… how did this stuff werk again?” He scratched his head and closed his eyes tightly. I wanted to take this chance to run, but my feet were stuck to the ground. “Oh right. Ahem. Fer ignorin’ me awl night, an’ not doing yer job, I curse you to… to…” He looked me over with un-focusing eyes which landed on my goatee. “I curse you to be the goat you pretend to be!”
The light behind us flickered a bit and a cold chill ran down my spine. We both stood there, me shaking and him with this smug grin on his face for several moments. He looked me over and squinted hard, as if trying to spot something. “Why arn’ you getting’ all goat like? Zually starts by now.”
“Uh, what usually starts?” I was shivering hardcore from the cold by now but still felt very human.
“The gypsy curse thing. Stuff like these is suspo… suzpozed… it happens right away.” He was looking really lost and seemed to be having a hard time getting the words out.
“Curse? You were trying to curse me? What for?” I was very annoyed at this point and though I was sure this guy couldn’t actually curse me, I was still angry that he was trying.
“For brushing me off awl night stead of getting’ me drinks. Which yer s’posed to.”
I glared at him for a moment in disbelief. “Sir, I’m the BARBACK! I’m not allowed to pour drinks. I wash dishes, cook food, clean up and stock the booze. I don’t hand it out. I told you that earlier like three times. I also told you several times how you could get your drinks faster than standing in line at the bar. Maybe that’s why your ‘curse’ isn’t working.” I pulled my jacket tighter and pulled out my keys. “Now if you excuse me my wet pant legs are starting to freeze so I’d like to go home.”
Before I had a chance to turn around his eyes went wide and he fell to his knees. He looked like he had just been sentenced to death by firing squad. “You didn’t deserve a curse. I just cursed an innocent… I can’t believe I just… this, this isn’t happening.”
The sudden soberness scared me. Now completely coherent he just stared straight ahead muttering to himself. I looked over to my car, then back at the guy unsure of what to do. “Um… what happens if you do that?”
He looked at me like a wounded puppy, and barely above a whisper he said “I have to grant you a wish.”