His eyes finally lit on Ralph, as the man came through the door from reception on the other side of the large cubicle room. Ralph. A perfect target. The guy was a complete prick, nasty to almost everyone at very little provocation. He was good at his job, which was the only reason he still had it, but no-one really liked the guy. He seemed to go out of his way to be unpleasant.
Perfect.
As he watched, Ralph turned the corner of the cubicle farm and nearly stepped on the young lady with a vacuum cleaner and cleaning trolley, which was emptying the waste paper bin next to one of the photocopiers. Lashing out in irritation he pushed the trolley away from him, hitting Jeremy in the knee with it as he came out of his cubicle. A certain amount of shouting erupted, with the poor cleaner trying to stay off to one side and not get involved.
Dave watched with irritation. This was typical Ralph, not looking where he was going and then blaming someone else for it. He certainly needed to be dealt with in some way. Looking down at his notebook, he paused while he thought it over, then wrote "Ralph will be aware of these changes, but unable to convince anyone else that anything is different."
Carefully considering his words, he eventually began writing, filling half the small page.
---
Ralph was really pissed off. That damn cleaner had deliberately left her bloody vacuum cleaner in the middle of the corridor, just to trip him up. He was going to complain and see if he could get her fired. She had a nice rack, sure enough, but that was no excuse.
Returning to his small office at the end of the corridor he slammed the door and sat in his chair, bringing up the email client on the computer so he would write out a complaint against the young woman. A few seconds after he sat down a sudden discomfort in his groin made him twitch.
"Ow. What the fuck?" He reached down and felt his penis through his suit. It felt bigger than it should be, and odd somehow. Another twinge went through him, and under his hand he felt his penis enlarge, but not in a normal way. Worried, he pushed his chair back from the desk and looked down at his groin, in time to see a lump appear in his lap. It grew larger and larger, and he suddenly felt himself becoming very confined down there.
He hurriedly unzipped his fly, and was surprised and horrified when his penis shot through the opening, flopping out onto the seat. Only it looked wrong, it was much longer and wider than it should be, and was the wrong color and texture completely. It looked more like... plastic?
As he watched in open-mouthed horror, his penis began growing, very very fast. It got longer and longer, spilling off the chair onto the floor. Within seconds it was at least ten feet long, and perhaps two inches in diameter, and began to darken in color. The end flared out and changed shape, ending up nearly a foot wide but only a couple of inches thick, and the first three feet of it behind the head became completely rigid. The rest stayed floppy, and developed circumferential ridges. It looked familiar, oddly, and after a couple of horrified seconds he recognized it.
Jumping to his feet he nearly tripped over his changed penis, now a vacuum cleaner hose. Reaching down with trembling hands he felt it. It was real. He could feel a plastic-like substance, and oddly feel his hands through it. Grabbing it with both hands he yanked on the thing, hoping it would come off and reveal his normal anatomy underneath, but to no avail. The horrible thing was all him, and it was firmly rooted in his groin!
Stepping away from the desk into the clear middle of the room, he shuddered as his hose slid across the carpet, uncoiling and stretching out. The rigid end part caught under the desk and the sudden pull made him yelp in pain, and he bent down and grabbed the thing, freeing it from the furniture. Holding it up in front of him he inspecting the end in a sort of numb horror, seeing it looked more or less like any normal vacuum cleaner head, with a swivel joint so it could move around to follow the floor.
"What the fuck is going on?", he yelled, and nearly fell when his feet suddenly twinged. Dropping his hose, he looked down, just in time see his legs snap rigidly erect, slamming together tightly. Ralph suddenly found he couldn't bend his knees, and watched in dismay as another change swept over him. His suit trousers and underwear simply faded out of existence, and his legs grew together, changing shape as they did. He found his view of the room rising as he slowly lost nearly a foot of height, and within a few seconds discovered he had changed below the waist completely.
Closing his eyes he shook his head violently, then opened them and looked down. It was still there. He looked over his shoulder, then back down at his front, shaking in fear.
From the waist down his body was now an immobile mechanical thing, a weird cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and some sort of wheeled trolley. It went out behind him for two or three feet, forming an oblong curved shape about three feet high, with a series of depressions in the top that he realized with a sick feeling were just right to hold bottles of cleaning products. The last 18 inches of his new body were in the form of a flap which opened upwards, and he discovered he could lift it by an effort of will. Right at the back there was a sort of a tail, which terminated in a normal wall plug. He found he could move the tail, and that it was a couple of feet long.
He was some strange sort of cleaning machine centaur, and couldn't believe what he was looking at. So scared he was about to scream, for some reason Ralph discovered he couldn't quite go the extra distance into complete hysterics.
Once more a twinge went through him, and he shuddered. What next?
He got his answer as all his remaining clothes disappeared, and his chest began to bulge. This was the last straw, and he screamed in panic, a scream that rapidly rose into a feminine wail.
Once more, the change was quick. Looking down at himself, he discovered he now had a narrow waist, a pair of enormous firm breasts, which had very large nipples proudly adorning the tips, and a hairless feminine set of arms that matched his new female torso. Raising his new hands he felt his face, and under his fingertips was the face of a young woman, not a middle-aged man. He had hair that reached to his shoulders, a deep black in color.
One last twinge went through him, and he found himself bending forward at the waist to about a 30 degree angle, while his back involuntarily arched back and his neck twisted back a little. When this last change finished, he found he couldn't straighten his torso up properly, so he was stuck leaning forward like the figurehead on the prow of a ship, proudly presenting his breasts to the world.
He was shaking with fear, his breasts wobbling around with the motion. After several minutes he calmed down just enough to inspect himself again, and soon realized that he could now move around on his newly-grown wheels. A little experimentation and he found he could move his hose around as well, it seemed to be prehensile and quite strong. When he stopped trying to move it he was startled when it abruptly coiled itself up in front of him over a pair of hooks he hadn't noticed growing from about where his hips would be, with the rigid end clamping itself along his left flank.
Reaching down and back he stroked it and shuddered, it still produced the erotic sensations of the penis it had started as.
When he had calmed down enough, he tried turning to face the door, and smoothly wheeled toward it. Opening it he left his office, trying to find someone who could explain what was going on and help him. Just outside he came across the cleaning girl, whose name he remembered suddenly as Maria. He was startled and upset to find he now had to look up at her, as he was at least half a foot shorter than her five foot six.
"There you are, Ralph. What were you doing in there?" The 20-something girl demanded. Ralph tried to say something, but was cut off as Maria walked around behind him and grabbed his 'tail'. Giving it a hard pull she walked a few feet away, and he was startled to find that it extended as she went. Leaning over as he watch over his shoulder in disbelief she quickly plugged it into a wall outlet, and Ralph jerked as he felt something deep inside his new body come alive.
"Right. We need to do this corridor quickly, and then go upstairs. Get on with it!" He stared over his shoulder at her, then shuddered as a low whine started somewhere deep inside him. His hose uncoiled itself, and he grabbed the end and held it up. There was s strong rush of air into the end, and he realized with a sinking heart that he really was a vacuum cleaner, at least from the waist down.
"Now, Ralph!" Maria demanded, and almost involuntarily he let go of his hose, which began to run the wide end across the floor. He watched in amazement as his former penis sucked up dust and dirt, he could feel it rushing up the hose and creating a strong erotic sensation. Somewhat unwillingly he felt his huge new nipples reach, and moaned as his hands came up and caressed his breasts, rubbing and squeezing them together.
In a sexual daze, he trundled up and down the corridor for twenty minutes, thoroughly cleaning the floor, then stayed still as Maria grabbed his hose end and did something to it, making it fold in on itself to form a narrow nozzle with which she carefully cleaned under the photocopier. When she had finished she let go of it, and said "OK, unplug yourself and open up." His tail popped out of the wall socket and rapidly retracted, and he found himself lifting his hind lid.
Maria emptied the two waste bins next to the machine into him, and patted his lid, which he closed. He was still in a certain state of arousal, fondling his breasts and occasionally squeezing a nipple. His hose recoiled itself without conscious thought.
Walking over to him she looked at his top surface, and stepped back, hands on hips. "Where are your cleaning supplies?" He simply stared back at her wordlessly, unable to formulate a coherent thought. Sighing in irritation, she muttered to herself, and told him to follow her. Helplessly he did, finding he was more or less obliged to obey her. They went all round the cubicle area, with him cringing inside, embarrassed to be seen like this, some strange over-endowed vacuum cleaner-taur, a female one at that, but at the same time desperate to talk to someone about what had happened to him.
Trying to attract the attention of a couple of his coworkers was an exercise in frustration. Liz ignored him, and Jenny simply said "Hi, Ralph", when he tried to talk to her. He could see in her eyes that she didn't see anything out of the ordinary, and slumped, letting his arms dangle in front of him. Now one seemed to find anything out of the ordinary in the sight of a large-breasted young woman with a vacuum-cleaner for a lower body, and a 10 foot penis/hose coiled across her front.
Maria took him down in the elevator to the basement, to a supplies room, and loaded his various shelves and cavities with cleaning supplies. He found that he had a paper towel dispenser build into his lower back, and the nastiest surprise came when she unscrewed a cap he didn't realize he had in the middle of his back and tipped in a bottle of cleaning fluid. Within seconds he could feel the cold fluid filling his breasts, making them even larger, and press firmly together. He moved his torso, and they swung heavily around, no longer jiggling like they had done before. She pulled a bit of paper towel off his dispenser, and holding it to one breast, pushed a couple of times on the nipple. There was the sensation of release, and he heard a hiss as fluid sprayed onto the paper.
Groaning in dismay, he helplessly wheeled after her as she headed back to the elevator.
---
Upstairs, Dave smiled with the knowledge of a job well done, and glanced around for inspiration for his next trick.