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CYOTF

The honest fantasy of a man in his forties

added 12 years ago AR BM O

Today, the seed landed on Jeff. He was sitting in the park on a spring day. It was early
spring so the ground was still wet and the wind was still chilly but there were the
beginnings of new life showing. Jeff really needed a new life.

Jeff was divorced. He wasn't bitter at his wife. Although she had been a bad wife, Jeff
recognized that he had also been a bad husband. Either they had rushed too quickly to get
married or they weren't meant for each other in the first place. All Jeff knew was that they
really didn't know each other before they got married and after they discovered who each
other really was, it was too late to fix things. They tried everything including marriage
counseling but they never could come together as husband and wife.

They had two miscarriages while they were married. Jeff grieved and mourned for the kids
but at the same time, he was grateful that there weren't any kids to be caught in the
middle of that marriage that was going down in flames.

Now Jeff had nothing. The chaos of the divorce had caused him to become unreliable at
work costing him his career. Then it became difficult for him to get a job because
wherever he applied, they would learn about his divorce and the chaos that occurred.
Companies don't like to hire unstable people that get divorced.

All the chaos and job loss eventually took Jeff's home too. Now he was staying with friends
renting a single bedroom and struggling to even pay that rent.

Jeff did not wish to be younger. He did not wish to have a jock's body. He did wish to be
healthier but he didn't care about appearances anymore. He didn't want to look healthier.
He wanted to be healthier and have less arthritis. He wanted to have better vision and
hearing. He wished that he could run for the sheer joy of running.

Jeff sometimes wished for a wife but sometimes he didn't. He certainly did not want to
have another disaster of a marriage like the one he had. His wish was, "If I get married,
make it a good marriage or else I'd rather be single."

Jeff did wish for kids. If he could afford it, he would adopt kids but Jeff barely had enough
money to care for himself let alone care for kids.

Jeff also wished to have better friends. So many of the guys he met were not really friends.
They were beer buddies getting together to get drunk but they didn't know how to be
friends.

After contemplating his life for a while, Jeff left the park and headed for home to discover .
. .


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