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My Girlfriend is an Animal: Complicated Problems for Uncomplicated People

added by s1 12 years ago O

When I got up about an hour after Molly left for her day at the school, I stretched and pulled on a pair of shorts that Molly and my mother had managed to put together, mostly by going through all of our old sheets, which meant that we couldn't change the sheets on any of the beds in a rotation. They weren't much, but they kept everything covered, so I decided to put up with it. It was better then going around naked, though something in the back of my mind had little to no problem with that. I guessed that was animal instinct.

I quietly went downstairs as my parents were still asleep and fixed a fairly small breakfast for myself, mostly eggs. But I put a box of little smokies to cook with them. It felt odd to me with all the changes, but I could still only imagine what it had been like for Molly. Molly had struggled so long with some depression at what the freak show had done to her, which she was only know recovering from. And her experiences was allowing me to adapt more easily to my own transformation. Still, a lot of it wasn't going to be easy to put up with.

Beauregard and his group of bigots were still out there plotting something, and of course, my own transformation had raised the worry on my part that the freak show had opened up the proverbial genie in the bottle. And there was absolutely nothing anyone could really do stop them.

I sighed and let that all go. Worrying endlessly about things that could not be changed wasn't good for anyone. After breakfast, I went outside. Since my parents were still asleep, I didn't want to do anything that would wake them up before they wanted to. They were after all, guests.

Once outside, I began looking over the partially completed garage that Michael York had commissioned to be built for Molly and I. The area had been flattened out and a foundation and the main posts had been placed, but the blizzards of late fall and winter had put a stop to the project until it all melted.

"How necessary is a garage going to be now?" I wondered to myself, "Neither Molly nor I can drive anymore."

And there was a great deal of truth in that. Because of our size, we couldn't drive the vehicle who's only real purpose would be to transport things that Molly and I couldn't entirely carry. Now, with bulk items, Molly and I could probably manage easily. But if we needed to stock up on groceries, which, with two adult tigers living there, that would likely happen on some regular basis. And even with Molly and I working together, we couldn't carry all of the grocery bags from the market home in one trip... but since we couldn't fit in the truck, that negated the truck's benefits.

"This may actually be a plus for you," Jacob spoke from the deck of the cabin.

I turned slightly to see that he was up and fully dressed.

"I don't see how."

"You can alter the height of the roof for yours and Molly's comfort," Jacob answered.

"But neither of us can drive," I pointed out, "I might need a tool shed for something... but there's no need to have a tool shed that big."

"Maybe..." Jacob commented, "or you could move that deep freeze out here and butcher your kills in here, rather then in your laundry room. Even I can smell the mix of blood and bleach in there."

"That might be a good idea," I commented.

"And who knows," Jacob added, "maybe some company will come up with a design for a car that would suit you."

I doubted that, but didn't argue.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Most of the morning went by quietly. I visited with my folks while they ate and talked about a few small things. I apologized about not being able to take them anywhere with the hiking trails closed for the "season". They assured me that that wasn't a problem. I asked them if they were okay with everything... as it certainly for them to learn that their only son had lost his humanity, but I got no definite answer one way or the other. I hoped they were okay.

However, around eleven thirty, any hope for a calm peaceful day ended with an ominous phone call.

"Hello," I answered it politely.

"Hello, George," Officer Howard spoke through the phone, "I'm afraid I have some bad news..."

"Molly..." I spoke nervously, fearing something had happened to her.

"She should be fine as far as I know," Officer Howard answered, "I've just received what amounts to a subpoena from our City Council. They are expecting me to explain you..."

I gulped.

"And from the way it's written, you can expect to receive one as well," Officer Howard continued, "we'll be expected to report to them at six PM today."

"Beauregard," I growled in a low voice.

"He isn't on the city council," Officer Howard answered, "and while he has friends on it, they don't control the council."

"It's still his fault," I growled again.

I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Just be calm when you arrive..." Officer Howard sighed, "and don't confront them. This will be a closed meeting... meaning any machinations that Beauregard's friends or R.A.M. have done won't be revealed to all the mothers from a kindergarten class that could turn against them. It's going to be before a group that is probably neutral for the most part as far as your circumstances are concerned."

"Of course, sir," I sighed, "Will they want Molly to come along as well?"

"I don't think so," Officer Howard sighed, "It'll depend on what they write to you. I'm just giving you the warning."

+++++++++++++++++++++++

The rest of the day went nervously slow. Ultimately, I did receive a "subpoena" demanding that I report before the City Council, and alone. I wasn't to bring anyone with me, and that left me nervous and frustrated, as well as fearing that this would be the time that Beauregard finally figured out a way to get Molly and I to leave.

Molly caught on to my nervousness when she returned home in the afternoon. She did her best to try and comfort me, but I could see that the ruling scared her as well.

"It'll be alright,son," my father said, "this sort of thing happens frequently, and quite often, they're merely wanting to see how a specific problem is being dealt with. And as much as you are not going to like hearing this... your transformation could raise certain problems..."

"But Leona hasn't arrived yet to do her tests," Molly protested.

"That may not be the City Council's concern," Jacob warned, "their schedule may be faster then Leona's travel schedule."

I could only sigh, as regardless of whether it was a simple answering of questions or some attempt by R.A.M. to give Beauregard his way, I didn't want to go to this meeting.

++++++++++++++++++++

Officer Howard met me outside of City Hall in his dress uniform, which as the Chief of Police he didn't have to wear on duty so long as what he wore was appropriate and his badge was accessible. It only added to my thoughts of impending doom.

"You didn't walk the whole way, did you?" Officer Howard asked.

"I'm too big to drive anything," I sighed heavily, "and the subpoena told me to come alone."

Officer Howard then gave a frustrated groan as I followed after him. We eventually made our way into the room where the City Council was waiting for us, and I found what I was expecting. Pierre Beauregard seated beside two other members of the Council. He glanced at me, but showed little real emotion. It took all that I had to keep from leaping at him and removing one or two vital organs...

"I and the officer in question have reported as requested," Officer Howard spoke.

The Mayor, seated at the center of the table then motioned for us to sit down. Knowing that a male Bengal Tiger had a maximum weight OVER 550 pounds, I stood behind Officer Howard.

"Do you understand the command to sit?" the Mayor then asked me.

"I understand the command, yes," I answered, biting my tongue from being to confrontational on the issue.

"They why aren't you seated?"

"Your chairs are not strong enough to support my muscle mass, sir," I said as respectfully as I could manage.

The mayor looked at the plastic chair and then sighed.

"Very well, we will move to the matter at hand," the mayor spoke, "largely relating to the tiger problem you have embroiled this city in, Chief Harold."

"Excuse me, sir," Officer Harold spoke, "but you said this was to be a closed meeting..."

"And it is closed," the mayor answered, "just you, your problem, the Council, and a local business representative..."

"Who has called the station half a dozen times a week for the past four months asking if I've arrested the "tiger-lady" or if he could buy a permit allowing him to shoot her," Officer Harold answered, "he is not a non-biased representative of the business community."

"I am the only one who was available, sir," Beauregard answered, "this has nothing to do with me."

"Pierre Beauregard has no voting status," the Mayor added, "merely to provide his advise and the opinion of the city's businesses."

I just barely managed to keep myself from growling.

"Fine," Officer Howard sighed heavily.

"Very well, we will move on to the summary of why this meeting has been called," the mayor spoke, "this began when Molly Rhoer, our resident "tiger-lady" moved here. When word of her residence reached us, you assured us that we would have no problems."

"And there have been none," Officer Howard answered, "the school has sent no 911 calls... at least none related to her. No one has been attacked, and NO ONE'S cattle has been eaten."

"Then perhaps you'd like to explain the problem behind you," the Mayor offered, "to my knowledge the man that created the serum used to transform Molly Rhoer is in prison, and that he had only transformed ONE tiger person, Molly Rhoer, herself."

"Officer Wayne has not attacked anyone either," Officer Howard told him.

"Officer?" Beauregard blurted.

"He has passed all the tests related to being an officer of the law in the state of Montana and has his badge," Officer Howard explained, "he will go on duty when uniforms that will fit him arrive."

"And you're certain this animal can perform all the tasks related to enforcing the law?" the Mayor asked, "you have full documentation, and proof from animal behavior experts? Because I've called a ton of conservationists, zoo officials, and wildlife vets, and ALL of them said that a tiger is incapable of being trained in police work, and implicated that my Chief of Police was a complete moron for trying to replace his canine unit with a feline that is not even native to this continent."

"And if George Wayne were a mundane tiger, their assessment would be right," Officer Harold answered, "but despite his form, the things that made him "human" before haven't left him."

"He certainly doesn't look human," one of the Council Members snorted.

"If you wish, I would be happy to take an IQ test here and now, if you really think that I am merely a mundane animal," I offered, trying to sound polite.

"That will not be necessary," the Mayor answered, "Officer Harold, you are certain he can perform the tasks related to a common canine unit?"

"He can fulfill the duties of any officer of the law," Officer Harold answered, though sounding slightly frustrated, "Human or canine."

"And if he does not? If he goes wild?" the mayor asked.

"We have the weaponry to take him down, but we won't have that problem," Officer Harold answered.

"Very well," the Mayor spoke.

"I must raise my concerns," Beauregard spoke up, "the prime business in this country is ranching and farming. Our ranchers and farmers provide more then even this country can eat. And he is living next to an old man that is well past his prime, and is probably senile. What is to stop him from going out at night and going on some sort of rampage. The smartest thing to do with him and his mate, would be to keep them in the jails at night and use them like you would a German Shepard Dog, if they are to be used at all. It will insure that our businesses will be safe."

"That would be against Mr. Wayne's human..."

"Only HUMANS should have human rights," Beauregard answered, "even that retard in the White House hasn't surrendered the nuclear keys to his water dog."

"Mr. Wayne is still sentient and is capable of anything a human is capable of," Officer Howard countered, "and since you refuse to let him prove it, you can not just say he is incapable of controlling himself because he does not look human."

I then watched as the mayor talked with the city council members.

"Officer Howard, if you insist on employing Mr. Wayne, we will expect detailed reports on Mr. Wayne's performance," the mayor spoke, "and he and his mate are to be accompanies by an armed HUMAN officer at all times."

"Isn't that extreme?"

"Can you guarantee that he won't fall to his instincts and attack our businesses?" the mayor asked.

"We haven't received a report yet, so I would not expect that to happen," Officer Howard answered.

"But you can't guarantee it?"

"I will trust him," Officer Howard answered, "which is all that can be done. What has happened to George and Molly Wayne is a problem that our standard way of problem solving will not work. Do they have non-human instincts, yes, but their sentience has not been diminished in any way and we have not had a problem with Molly Wayne, and she has been with our children. That alone should be enough evidence that all we need to do is trust George and Molly to do the right thing."

"Officer Howard, SAFETY is the sole concern that we should concern ourselves with," Beauregard spoke, "as they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You can not guarantee that they won't, which means the danger is still there. If you do not protect the people, they could go "mad" and if they do... we could lose more people curing the problem then preventing it."

"I'll have the Gestapo get right on it then," Officer Howard grumbled.

"I beg your pardon?" the mayor spoke.

"You want to rob George Wayne of all the rights he has because he isn't human and thus dangerous," Officer Howard replied, "a very similar argument was made for the German people to attempt to murder every Jew on the face of the Earth, or at least in Europe..."

There was a shocked silence for a moment.

"And if danger is your sole concern, I will remind you that a drunk driver is far more dangerous then George and Molly Wayne are," Officer Howard answered, "and considering that the drunk driver is controlling a one ton vehicle made of metal, the resulting damage it could cause would be greater then anything George or Molly Wayne could do."

"So what do you expect that we do?"

"We trust them," Officer Howard answered, "they were born humans and citizens of this country, and thus deserve all the rights that everyone takes for granted. We must trust them... at least until something happens that would give us any reason not to trust them."

"Very well," the mayor sighed, "we will still expect detailed reports on George Wayne's progress, and the guarantee that he will NEVER be promoted beyond the entry level rank of a patrol officer."

"That will depend on how well he serves," Officer Howard answered firmly.

The mayor only sighed, "very well. We'll move on to what has apparently happened to George Wayne."

"This is where our chief concern is," the council member that had spoke earlier said, "Ms. Rhoer..."

"Wayne," I spoke, "Molly and I were recently married."

"Congratulations," a different city council member said slowly.

"Anyway," the first council member sighed, "Mrs. Wayne was the only tiger person here, and now we have two! Suppose they start biting people and turning them all into tiger people."

"Molly didn't bite me to transform me."

"Then how was it done?" the Mayor asked.

"I can't really be sure," I answered nervously, "it could be from her dander as some sort of reaction... maybe the formula that transformed her is somehow becoming airborne... or maybe it's like an STD and I received it on my wedding night."

"We've called in an expert on the formula that was used in the freak show that we all saw reported on the news," Officer Howard answered, "She has yet to arrive but should be here in a few days."

"So you have no way of knowing how this "weretigerism" could spread, yet?" the mayor asked.

"Yes," Officer Howard answered, "but if they were to spread their "condition" I'm sure it would be consensual, not forcing it on anyone."

"And we're to trust this?" Beauregard asked, "I don't want to spend my life hating water!"

"Tigers actually enjoy water," I told him.

"It's a complicated problem," Officer Howard answered, "until more data can be obtained and explained, we will HAVE to trust that George and Molly would not knowingly transfer their condition to others."

"Very well," the mayor sighed, "Officer Wayne will be withheld from duty until this expert can determine what caused his transformation and appropriate steps can be taken to insure no one else suddenly becomes a tiger person."


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