The doctor approached, he was holding an electric razor.
"Now, just stay calm. We're just going to shear--shave you. We need to see what's happening under all that hair."
It made sense. He started on my back. The nurse came forward with a basket to collect my hair. I felt more naked than I'd ever felt before as the cold air nipped my bare skin.
I rolled over on my now hairless backside, as they continued to shear. My luxurious chest hair was gone. I could see the bare muscle that revealed my nearly featureless torso. No pecs, no abs. Just a big swollen abdomen and furry sac that looked more like a dog's than a man's.
I'll get it to the yarn maker right away, and the weaver swears that the sweater will be ready on Friday in time for your wife's birthday party, doctor."
"Good."
Sweater? My goat hearing picks up the nurse's muttering as she exits, "Lot of bother turning a man into a goat just to get a sweater."
My jaw dropped. Another voice in the hall answered the nurse, "Well, I heard the blighter slept with doc's wife."
"An affair?"
"No, fore' they married..." the voice drifted away as the two walked away from my room.
I lay there dumbfounded.