The sun is hitting your eyes far too early, your breath smells like
death, you're incredibly dehydrated, you feel like you need to take a
massive shit... yep, you're hung over.
Ugh. Why the hell do I keep doing this to myself?
As you roll over and try to prevent the day from coming, eyes still
clenched shut, you think about last night. Last night? What even
happened last night? You remember leaving with your friends, going to
some bar you'd never been to before, but beyond that nothing. You
don't even remember the name of the bar. Clearly you overdid it last
night and now you’re going to have to spend your Sunday dealing with
it.
You roll on your back again, irritated with yourself, when you notice
something feels weird in the back of your boxer-briefs. You feel the
skin against the fabric, but it’s like you’re laying on something. You
try to figure out where it is – right near the ass. Well, looks like
you may have taken that massive shit after all.
You get up, gingerly trying to avoid touching anything back
there and head towards the shared bathroom. The toilet is painted
with stomach acid and bile. You’re a little irritated at your roommate
for not cleaning up, but at least you aren’t the only one who overdid
it last night. You flush, do a quick wipe with some toilet paper, and
sit down to some cleaning.
Only…
As strange as it sounds, you can’t get a good seat on the toilet.
There’s something bunching up between your back and the toilet seat,
something strange, something unrecognizable. Slowly, with a piece of
toilet paper, you reach back there to touch whatever it is… and
realize that it’s attached to you.
It's...