Steve has known you since college; he knows you better than anyone even your own family. If you can’t persuade him no one is ever going to believe you, if you can’t… Well you just have to convince him that’s all there is to it. Filled with new resolve you set about getting back into your apartment. Reasoning that he’s not likely to just to open the door for you head for the alley behind the apartment block. The alley is strewn with rubbish and stinks like an open drain. You gag as your bare foot squelches in something rotten.
“Eww gross.” You say resisting the urge to giggle at how girlie you sound.
“Yeah. I’m like totally a girl, you know?” you tell the empty alley in your best valley girl voice. “I just gotta get up that fire escape, you know? Teh-he”
You stop talking disturbed at how convincing your bimbo impersonation is concentrating instead on not stepping on anything sharp or squishy until you reach an overflowing dumpster. If can you pull it over to the fire escape you can then scramble up and get back in through the kitchen window.
Taking a firm grip you heave on the heavy dumpster. Nothing, you try again grunting with the effort, you strain with all your might until your feet slip in a pile of garbage and you fall on your peachy new butt. The dumpster hasn’t moved an inch.
“Fuck!” you swear “Can today get any fucking worse!”