Jake had been married to his wife Becky for 17 years.
We wanted to get her something special, and she loved clowns, so he got her the ointment.
He made a list for himself:
White-face.
A full head of fiery red hair.
A red, golf-ball-sized nose with nostrils so he could breath normally.
Big, red lips.
Black eyebrows.
A muscular body.
A red tux, with a big, green bow.
Shiny red pants,
and Size 35 red shoes for his big feet.
Can breath fire, but does it for entertainment only.
Good with puns and jokes.
And for his wife:
White-face.
Pink hair that went past her shoulders in ringlets, with a big, green bow on top.
A pink, golf-ball-sized nose with nostrils to breath normally, and it's covered in glitter.
Small, pink lips which could smile literally from ear to ear.
Pink eye-shadow, and toonishly long eyelashes.
Black eyebrows, and black freckles on pink cheeks.
Big ears each half the size of her head.
Big breasts and wide hips,
A light, green dress with a poofy skirt.
Black and green striped socks, and size 35 pink shoes for her big feet.
Has a minnie-mouse voice.
Good with puns and jokes, and bakes the tastiest pies for throwing and eating.
He told her all this, that they'd have to rub their feet, it would be permanent, and it would be a slow week-long process.
She liked it.
"Now should we do this now," he asked "or should we wait for the kids so they can join in too?"
She smiled and said....