Standing before the mirror in the changing room, staring at the little girl I have become, finding it hard to focus on stuff that I would normally find easy to focus on as a twenty six year old man, I force myself to concentrate and eventually come to the conclusion that, as a best guess, my height is now about three foot two inches tall.
Unable to hold still for some reason, I begin to shift about, liking the way the nightgown I am wearing under the dress feels against my body, how it looks like I wearing both a pink slip under the dress and a pink shirt with white sleeves, and thinking about the way the dress shifts about and how it just barely shows off the edge of the nightgown, I ask myself, "Now what?" as I run a hand through my hair, think that it would look cute if mommy would show me how to braid it.
After a couple minutes of staring and shifting about, thoughts racing in one errant direction after another, I turn away from the mirror and sitting down on the floor, I pull on the booties over the footed part of the nightgown, wondering why somebody would design a nightgown that is all one piece as I pull on the one strap and affix the Velcro together.
Standing, I glance back at my reflection, noting that my posture has shifted to that which is normal for a girl and sighing, I figure that the first thing I need to do is get my clothes from under the clothes wrack in the maternity section and reaching up, I am just barely able to grasp the latch on the door as I open the door and step back into the store, shrugging on the jacket that matches the full-length dress, which I am starting to think of as actually belonging to me.
As I head away from the changing rooms, the first thing I notice is that I can no longer hear the woman or childe over in the toy aisle and figuring they must have gone somewhere else as I step further away from the changing room, feeling slightly out of sorts whenever I think that I am wandering about in public wearing clothes meant for a girl. And then it dawns on me just how different the world looks from the eyes of a childe as I realise I have no idea where in the maternity section the clothes wrack with my clothes is.
Feeling suddenly like crying, I look wildly about, understanding that I have no idea where I am and suddenly knowing this, I realise that I left the amulet of Zulo back in the changing room with my shirt and socks.
Torn between wanting to continue the search for the clothes I left in the maternity section and wanting to go back to the changing rooms, I feel the sting of tears as they begin to well up and whimpering, "I want my mommy," I look wildly about, wondering where she might be and unable to discern where she might be, I start to walk, the thought, "Things are getting wildly out of control," as I attempt to make my way back to either the maternity section or the changing rooms.
---
Somebody is shaking me and for a moment, I think, "It is mommy come to wake me up from my afternoon nap," and then immediately think, "I must have missed an important appointment again and my girlfriend has come over to kick me out of bed," and then I hear the voice of a man saying, "This Melvin. I'm reporting a ten-eighty Adam in Walko," and snapping open my eyes, I start to remember bits and pieces of what had taken place that led me up to this point as I look wildly about, seeing first a man with dark skin in a mall cop security uniform standing a couple inches from me.
"Ten-four," a disembodied voice squawks out of nowhere and I suddenly realise that he is talking to me as somebody continues to say something on his walkie-talkie.
Focusing on him, I listen as he asks, "What's your name sweetheart?"
Unsure for a moment why he would be calling me sweetheart, suddenly feeling all jumbled up and out of sorts, still coming to terms with my transformation, I blink and for a minute, I am unsure what to tell him. After a couple seconds, he tells me, "It's all right to speak with me. I am here to help," and thinking quickly, I tell him, "Erica," settling on a feminine form of my male name.
The security cop smiles and then asks, "Erica. That is a pretty name. Tell me something, Erica. Do you know your age?"
I think for a moment and finally settle on shaking my head to signal no. The black man continues to smile and tells me, "That's okay," and then asks, "Do you know what your last name is, Erica? Or perhaps, what your mommy or daddy call you when they want your attention?"
Again, I think, wondering how to answer this, knowing, vaguely, what my last name had been when I had been a male and how my mommy and daddy addressed me when they wanted my attention. After a bit, I settle on telling the security guard, "Mommy and daddy call me Erica or Young Lady when they want my attention, such as if I had been bad."
The black man nods at this, all most as if he had expected this answer, and holding out a hand, he asks, "Do you think you would come with me?"
Shaking my head, understanding that if I leave, then my chances of returning to my male self would slip even more away from me, I blurt out, "Mommy says I am not supposed to go anywhere with strangers," unsure why I would I just said what I said, realising that it's something I might have said when I had been a young boy.
Smiling even more, the security guard chuckles and tells me, "Your mommy taught you well. Well, Erica, my name is Melvin Chilanski. I am security guard, I am married to Mrs Chilanski and I have a daughter, Jasmine, who is about the same age you appear to be," and still holding out his hand, he adds, "Does that still make me a stranger or should I tell you something else?"
Hesitant, understanding more and more that if I went with him, I could pretty much wave bye-bye to my chance of ever being male again, I shift about on the bed that I am sitting on upon and after a moment, I decide that my situation might be getting worse, but I am also curious as to how all of this turns out and holding out a hand, I take Melvin's and allow myself to be led off the bed as I tell him, "I half-to go potty," to which he tells me, "Well, if you think you can hold it, there is a bathroom in the security room."
Figuring I could hold back my bladder, I nod and tell him, "Uh-huh," and taking one more look about, I consent after a second and allow myself to be led away, realising as I am being led through the store that for some reason there is suddenly holes in my memories of my male life.