Jimmy was an 17-year-old who lived in a garage apartment owned by his parents. He paid rent and had signed a lease, and the garage was a seperate building. So he was as independent as someone his age could be without leaving home entirely.
And today, he received a package. It wasn't his, because he hadn't ordered anything and didn't even know where a country called 'Erewhon' was located.
He looked at the package with curiosity. It was addressed to a 'Jimmy Carter' at his address, but in Chicago. His last name was 'Harter', and he lived in Washington state. The post office screwed up big time. Although it was a funny coincidence, that two people with such similar names should have the same street address in different cities.
Jimmy knew that according to the law, the contents of the package were now his. He felt a bit of guilt, but what the hey - if Mr. Carter wanted it that badly, he should have had it sent by registered mail.
Jimmy tore open the wrapping and opened the metal box inside ...
In a puff of lavender smoke, a genie appeared - female, green hair, Barbie-doll figure, transparent harem outfit, floating in the air, and all of a foot tall. Jimmy was shocked for just a moment as the tiny genie-girl pulled out a cigar and lit it.
"Okay, O Cursed Master," she said in a rough voice obviously caused by smoking too much. "Here's the skinny - you got your standard three wishes. But I have limits. One - I have no control over life or death, so no killings, resurrections, or creating new people out of thin air. Two - I can't change the whole world or the past, just you and the part of the world you interact with. So I can get you a better job, but not make you King of America. Three - I can't affect hearts, so I can't make people love or hate. I can only make someone do something he wants to do, but you'd be surprised what people really want to do." She blew out a cloud of smoke. "So let's get this done so's I can go home."
Jimmy paused for a moment. He almost asked if this were a gag ... but he didn't because he didn't know anybody who could do this sort of gag. It was obviously real - either that or he was completely gonzo and should be locked up.
So he decided to take it at face value, and began thinking about wishes.
A lot of the wishes off the top of his head, he saw immediately, couldn't be covered by the genie with the limits she described. So he kept thinking ... and one popped up that didn't seem to be outside the limits.
"Okay - I wish I was the most sexually-irresistable boy in the world!"
The genie snickered. "That's number one, O Cursed Master! SHEM HEM HAMPSHORHASH!"
Jimmy, being a 17-year-old virgin, raced to the door and down the stairs, hoping to get laid sometime in the next ten minutes. He raced inside his parents' house and started to get the car-keys from their hook on the wall ...
And he noticed it was awful high.
He looked at his arm, now thin and small, and noticed his t-shirt hung to his knees and his pants and underwear had fallen off.
"What's happening to me?!" he squeaked in a high-pitched voice.
The genie appeared, now swilling a tiny can of beer. "Why, what do you mean, O Cursed Master? I just gave you your first wish - to be the most sexually-irresistable BOY in the world. You didn't specify age, so I figured about 9 or 10 would do." She burped. "Now, if you had said MAN instead of BOY -"
Jimmy shouted and tried to swat the genie, but she just vanished with a horse-laugh.
Suddenly, from behind him , Jimmy heard a man's voice saying, "Now who the heck are you?"
Jimmy turned around, and there were his mom and dad ... and their eyes were glazing over in lust ...