When Joseph Patten returned home from work on Wednesday, there was one particular item of interest. Animal Tales. The new NBC show documenting the lives of those who had become so-called ‘Animal People’ as a result of the Animatrix Serum. And this week, his own Cousin, Clemens. True, he had wished that he’d been told earlier, but according to Clemens, he was contractually obliged to not say anything about his appearance until after the preview for that particular episode had aired. In any case, it wouldn’t be long before the episode aired, which was why he was having his dinner early. Once done, he had just enough time to clean the pots and cutlery and make it to the living room before the episode started.
The now-familiar opening sequence concluded, the presenter, Wallace Paige, was inside the apartment where Clemens and Jenny lived. They were on the sofa, while Wallace sat on the chair.
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“And today, from Florida, we have Clemens Patten and Jennifer Young. And thank you for agreeing to appear on this show.”
“You’re very welcome.” Was Clemens reply. “And you can just call me Clemens.”
“And me, Jennifer.” Jenny added.
“Alright then, Clemens and Jennifer. So tell me, when did you meet, and why did you. Clemens, decide to take the Animatrix Serum?”
“Well.” Clemens began. “We actually first sstarting talking to each other via FaceBook about a year ago, which was before I took the Sserum. We both had an interest in the Sswords and Ssorcery Genre and initially sspoke mainly about that. It wasn’t until about ssix months ago that we firsst met. From there, things took off. As for the Serum. That would be a year ago this coming March.”
“That would make you one of the first to take it after the Animatrix Serum became available, correct?” Wallace enquired.
“Mosst likely. It had only jusst been released at the time I took it.” Clemens responded.
“I see.” Wallace paused briefly before continuing. “So why a snake?”
“African Rock Python to be precisse, similar to the Burmesse Python. As for why, they’ve fascinated me for mosst of my life. I’ve always loved them. Thiss way, I got to be a little closser to them.” He gestured slightly to himself.
“Alright then.” Wallace moved his head a little. “And you, Jennifer. Obviously you haven’t taken the Serum. Any reason why?”
“Well there’s one thing you have to understand.” Jenny began. “The Animatrix Serum is permanent. Once taken, there is no going back. So it’s not a decision that can be taken lightly. In any case, that’s a decision I’ve not yet made.”
“Interesting.” Wallace responded. “Though there will be quite a few who wonder what that means for your love life, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“Obviously, ssex is out of the question, even if the…” Clemens coughed slightly. “…’goods’ are still largely human, since that’s one of the methods of transmission of the Animatrix Viruss. Though I do know there’ss heavy research into preventing that from happening, that could ssee Federal Funding in a few months if President Romney gets that through. From what I know, the current theory for prevention of transmission involves using the Sserum with an individuals OWN genetic pattern to lock THAT in. Clearly though, that‘s jusst as permanent as the primary usse of the Sserum, and has a few flaws of it‘ss own, namely being permanent.”
“Very interesting. I actually didn’t know that part.” Wallace was forced to reply. “Though this does raise issues about you having a family.”
“That’s actually not a problem.” Jenny cut in. “I checked with Clemens. He already has a stock of sperm waiting from before he took the Serum. So that’s already taken care of.”
“Ah.” Wallace replied, a little sheepishly. “Well, moving on. A few months back, you made the local celebrity news. Would you like to explain that.”
“Of coursse.” Clemens began. “It wass at a Convention being held in the area. About the Sswords and Ssorcery Fantasy Genre. It made the local headliness not only because Arnold Schwarzenegger was there, but becausse of who Jenny and I had turned up asss. Namely she was Princess Yasamina. And no prizes for guessing who I was dressed as.”
“O-kay.” Realisation hit Wallace. “Clearly things didn’t track like the movie, seeing as you still have a head. So what did happen?”
“Mainly faux wrestling. Ssome friendly chat. And his realising that he left his ssword back home.” Jenny responded. And to that, Clemens and Jenny couldn’t hold back a slight laugh.
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The rest of the interview mainly tracked the other events in their lives, showing clips of them in their workplaces, where Clemens spoke a bit about the work he did, as did Jenny. He also showcased his Transit Van with the modified seating installed so he could use it - possibly giving Ford some free advertising - largely, it was a lot like the previous two episodes, except for having some personal value to Joseph, and especially to Clemens and Jenny, he suspected. He noted that no mention of the snake release was made, though Clemens had told him that THAT was completely off-limits. The memories still being too fresh and painful for him.
The remainder of the episode focused on how Clemens had adapted to life as a Human/Snake Hybrid. Tailored clothes to accommodate his lengthy tail. The Transit. His diet, which held one small surprise in that it appeared that some dairy products could be eaten by Clemens, as well as a few flavourings, herbs, and spices. Though Clemens did admit that it was hit-and-miss in finding what he could and could not eat.
When the episode ended, the preview came up, showing an individual from the UK who had become a European Wolf. He did wonder about one thing though. Was this the same man who’d taken it to remove his cancer and correct his defective heart? It was possible, and would provide for some serious ratings. In any case, he’d have the answer by next week, when the fourth of the thirteen episodes aired.
As he rose to tackle a few house chores, he began to think about the Wayne’s. With Molly’s pregnancy now confirmed, it was clear that she’d become a mother by Summer. They definitely deserved some joy after what they’d been through. And he could’ve sworn that he’d seen a slight bulge in Molly’s belly today. It could’ve been his imagination, since at this early stage, it would be almost impossible to see, but it would show through by next month, he suspected. But that wasn’t his department, the doctors in Kalispell would know more and be of better help for them next week if he recalled the facts right.
But right now, he had work in the house to do, so he got himself to work on them.