Ty gave everything some thought over his waffles, and the events of the day so far played out on his mind. It was unclear how he got his power, but really, did it matter? Most of all, Ty was excited. All the things he could do!
He looked around at the other IHOP patrons, so many different shapes and sizes. He thought it might be fun to change them somehow, but he needed some kind of rule on which to base his changes. It would be too boring to just randomly change everyone. No, what he needed was one rule that would change everyone but in different ways.
His waitress returned to give him his bill and slice of free birthday cake. (Mercifully, no one sang for him.) Looking at her, Ty considered her height. She seemed to be about the average height for a woman. How could he use that? How could he make average strange?
“Excuse me, uh, Sarah,” he said, reading her name tag.
“Yes, Hon?” She replied, cordially, as she refilled his coffee. Sarah appeared to be in her mid thirties, but she still had a decent figure. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, if you don’t mind me asking, how tall are you?”
“Me? I’m 5’6” last I checked.”
“5’6”,” Ty repeated. He smiled. He’d had an idea. “Funny how a person can be described with two little numbers.”
“I suppose,” Sarah said. She looked ready to move on to her next table.
“Just imagine if the numbers were reversed… if inches became feet and feet became inches. That would be… interesting.”
“Might be,” she said, not really listening to him, and then added as she walked off, “You let me know if you need anything else, Hon. Happy birthday!”
Ty smiled. “Thanks!” he said. As he took a bite of his chocolate cake, he wondered what Sarah would do if her inches became feet and her feet became inches. He turned to look at her as she refilled another coffee mug. “Swap her inches and feet, but let her clothing change with her and let her grow proportionately.”
Sarah grew. In a couple of seconds, she stood a very tall 6’5”.
“Whoa,” she exclaimed as she looked down at herself. She felt disoriented seeing the room from her new vantage point. The coffee pitcher in her hand seemed a bit smaller as did everything else around her. The customers at the table she had been waiting on gaped at her in wonder, unable to fathom how their waitress had just grown to the size of a pro basketball player. “What happened to me? I’m… big.”
Ty looked around the restaurant at all the other people; many of them were turning to look at the oversized waitress. There was such variety in their sizes, so many numbers to swap. Ty smiled a mischievous grin. “The rest of the patrons should join in the fun as well. Swap their inches and feet.”
Ty would always recall the sound he heard next. It was the sound of pure chaos being sung in a choir of many voices--male and female, old and young--punctuated by breaking dishes, falling cutlery, and overturned furniture. He loved it.
He surveyed the damage, watching and listening to the amazement and horror of the patrons.
He saw giant children staring down at their shrunken parents. He saw smaller siblings that had outgrown their bigger siblings. All around there were adults the size of children and children the size of adults. Some unfortunate people whose heights had been at an even foot found themselves to be the size of dolls, while other people with heights just under an even foot found themselves to be giants now. Only a few lucky people retained their normal heights because the numbers for their inches and feet had been the same.
To Ty’s left, a confused waitress stood over a fallen tray of food that had become too big and heavy for her to hold. She stood 2’5” tall now.
Sitting in the booth next to the waitress, two teenage girls were shocked to find themselves suddenly 4’5” and 3’5” tall. The smaller one looked like she needed a booster seat now, her feet dangling far above the floor.
In the booth next to them, a 7’5” tall 15-year-old boy thought about trying out for a basketball team, a pro basketball team.
To Ty’s right, a table in a booth had been overturned by a giant 17-year-old girl, who crouched under the ceiling, muttering, “Oh my God!” as she looked down at herself. She had a nice body, which was even more apparent now that she had become an 11’4” tall Amazon. Far below her, laying on his seat, her boyfriend had just barely avoided being crushed by the overturned table. He had shrunk to only 6” tall. (He had been an even 6’ tall before.) “Carl,” she called as she looked around for her boyfriend.
“Judy!” he shouted back to her, but his small voice was hard to hear over the cacophony of chaotic shouts and cries in the room.
She looked around below her and spotted something that looked like a big bug or a small rodent. She crouched down and discovered it was her tiny boyfriend waving both arms up at her to get her attention. “Oh my God,” she repeated. “Look at you.” Gently she picked him up between her thumb and forefinger. Placing him in the palm of her giant hand, she realized that he was even smaller than her fingers now. “Are you alright?” she asked. He nodded. Both of them thought about how their relationship had suddenly changed. She had always been the short one. He had always been her protector. That was all reversed now.
In front of Ty, a strange family drama was playing out. An 8’3” tall 5-year-old girl stood over her family’s table. She had started to cry. Her deafening wails echoed throughout the restaurant. Next to her, her 6’4” tall older brother tried to comfort her, patting her on her back. He was 9. “It’s okay, Crissy,” the boy said. “Don’t cry. We’re okay.”
“Mommy,” Crissy wailed wiping her tears away. “Where’s Mommy?”
“I’m here, Sweetie,” said a 3’5” tall woman below her. “Mommy’s right here, and I’m all right.” Even though she said that, she still felt distressed to find herself a few inches shorter than her youngest child had been only a minute ago.
Standing next to her, almost forgotten, was her small, 13-year-old son. Dumbfounded, he stared up at his “little” brother. At 1’5” tall, his head didn’t even come up the knees of the 9-year-old now. He really regretted all the teasing he had given his kid brother in the past.
Satisfied with the mischief he had accomplished, Ty casually took one last bite of his cake and a final sip from his coffee, and then left some money on the table, making sure he gave Sarah a generous tip. He stood up and headed for the door, passing by a small couple clutching each other in fear. (The man: 3’6”. The woman: 2’5”.) Nearer to the door he passed by a 5’5” tall woman who held a 4” tall boy in the palm of her hand. “This is cool,” said the enthusiastic, miniature first grader, while his mother tried to fight back tears.
At the door, Ty found a 1’5” tall woman desperately pressing against the glass of the door to open it. She couldn’t even budge it. “Let me out,” she chanted in desperation. “Let me out!” She had given up trying to think or reason her way out of the situation. She just wanted to escape. Ty easily swung the door open for her, and she scooted around through it to the next door. Ty opened that last one, and she took off running in a mad dash across the parking lot. To where, he had no idea. She didn’t either. She just wanted to get away, now. He watched her until she disappeared into some bushes.
As Ty walked away, the chaotic sound of the restaurant grew fainter. He smiled. This power he possessed amazed him. He had overturned so many lives in that restaurant like so many tables and chairs, all because he had willed it to happen. None of them would ever be the same again, just because they had decided to eat at IHOP today, the day he gained his powers. After a small tinge of guilt, he thought briefly about changing them all back to normal. He ruminated on the idea for a second and came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be much fun to change them back. If this power had any purpose, he reasoned, it was to help himself out, and what he really needed to help himself, what he had been deprived of for so long, was a little bit of fun in his life.
Ty walked on and thought about all of the fun things he could do next.