David groaned as light and sound began pouring back in. Everything burned, particularly his wrists which felt
like they were on fire. He felt a hard bed beneath him and forced himself up. The first thing he attempted to
do was brush his hand across his face as if to remove... something. Something that wasn't there, his hands
touched only skin sadly. For a moment he expected to feel long locks of hair, but why? He had never let his
hair get that long. He'd be mocked to death for having girly emo hair. His wrists flared again, drawing his
attention back to them. Fresh crimson cuts were just beginning to heal on both wrists. His hands also looked
a little weird, he could've sworn his fingers seemed a bit thinner and the skin around the tips of his fingers
seemed a bit darker like a very precise tan. He discoloration spread down barely an inch and wasn't too
noticeable unless you were really looking for it. Checking himself over everything else looked normal, maybe
his hair seemed a bit longer but it could be just his imagination. During his self-examination he caught the
scent of medicine and realized just were he was, the school nurse's room. The nurse herself entered, her face
was unreadable and she was carrying something familiar.
"Good, your awake. I'm hoping you can give me some answers now... David, why did you cut yourself?" David
looked at her incredulously but she merely shook her head. "David, you were found in the bathroom with cuts
on your wrists, they were shallow, but we found the razor in your hand and this... book in the other. What
were you doing with a razor and a blank book?" David tried to remember, the book, did she say it was blank?
That couldn't be and he didn't cut himself that thing in the mirror did! He couldn't say that though, they
would really think he's nuts then and the situation already looked bad. Choking back his fear, David tried to
think.
"I fell. In gym. The coach saw it, the cuts probably happened then. I don't know about the razor, maybe
someone put it there as a joke? The books mine though, can I please have it back?" David hadn't meant to
sound so whiny and apologetic. It sounded way wrong for a jock but he felt himself weighed down by something.
The nurse nodded, still looking skeptical and handed him the 'blank' book. She ushered him off to class and
he left, feeling relieved. David opened the book and wasn't surprised to see that everything that had just
happened was written in it.
'As the jock left the infirmary, doubts and fears began to grow in his mind. The self-confidence he had
always shown was dwindling away a little and giving way to insecurities and private terrors. He started
wondering about his friends, feeling distant from other people and alone.' David slammed the book shut with
trembling hands. He noticed the darkened pigment seemed to have traveled down a bit further, almost to the
joints in his fingers. It looked like he bruised them or something, but how the Hell do you just bruise the
ends of your fingers? And they were so dark now, almost as if…
"Bullshit!" He shouted to no one in particular, his voice cracking a bit as he said it. He cleared his
throat. "That's just bullshit bro, I have great friends and always will. I‘m nothing like Luis." His voice
sounded normal again but there was doubt in it. He made his way to his next class just in time and took his
place in the back with his friends. As soon as he sat down his friends started looking at him funny, but they
didn't say anything. In fact, they didn't talk to him all through class. He tried to just drown himself in
his school work, just because David was good on the field didn’t mean he was an idiot in class in fact he was
almost a straight A student. This was math, his best subject he could do this. Or so he thought. He stared
at the problems as if he had never seem them before, the numbers and letters danced on the page in front of
him seeming to mock him. He felt his face flush with frustration, why couldn’t he do this? He felt a hand on
his shoulder.
“What” he exclaimed with more venom than he intended. It was Mark, just Mark, there was no one else in the
classroom. “Sorry Mark, you just caught me off guard man.”
“Dude class is over, you’ve been zoned out there for awhile now, just checking what’s up. You know the other
guys… there’s been talk that you’ve been cutting yourself.” David rolled his eyes. Mark would make a better
mother than a friend, always trying to look out for him. David kept him around because he felt bad for the
little wimp but he only had time for real friends.
“Fuck what people are saying, I’ll talk to you later.” David left and didn’t look back. Lunch time, after
that he just had one more class and then he could go home. The cafeteria was already packed by the time he
got there. David felt stunned by all the people, like it was physically painful to be around so many. As he
reeled in his fear and confusion he noticed his usual table was full. Mark and all of his friends were there
and there was no room for him. Sighing inwardly he moved to an empty table in the corner, it felt welcoming
and familiar. Jealously and bitterness welled up in him, watching all the others, at their full tables. He
tried to distract himself by reading the book again.
‘Sitting alone, where he belonged he could feel the bitterness getting to him, changing him. This would be
the first of many lonely days to come. But part of him was beginning to enjoy that and even as he tried to
ignore it he could feel his interests changing.’
He felt his hands trembling and put on his music to calm down. He turned on some Eminem but Falling In
Reverse started playing, he tried Kid Cudi and got Panic At the Disco. Frustrated, he gave up, he actually
kind of liked this… maybe this scene music wasn’t so bad. As Bring Me the Horizon filled his ears his hands
stopped shaking but the brown pigment started crawling down again, not just that his hands seemed to be
shrinking. Down his fingers and all the way to the marks on his wrists his hands were darkening to a nice
Latino color. The bones were shrinking and the skin was tightening against them. Only his contracting palms
retained a light pigment. He clenched and extended his smaller hands. His fingers were slight, thin but
still somewhat long. He shoved his hands into his pockets so no one notice and left lunch early. While never
a stickler for rules, David felt a compulsion to skip his last class today. He walked out of the school, no
one seemed to even notice. When he was a block away he began to feel a great craving overtaking him. The
shaking was back and he felt light-headed. Automatically his slender hand pulled out a cigarette that he
could’ve sworn he didn’t have before. How did he even get a cigarette he was… how old was he… 16? No, 18.
I’m 18 he reminded himself. His head was a storm of confusion, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t remember
anything he… was smoking, and with a big puff of smoke, he felt himself relaxing. For a moment he felt long
locks of hair brushing against his face, but he blinked and the feeling was gone. Just the smoke. But his
hair was getting longer, thicker even, maybe somewhat darker. It had crept down an inch or so as he puffed
away his cares and exhaled his hatred. Smoke swirling around him, David headed home…