"Instead of taking volunteers, we will CHOOSE who will be next" said Stephen with a smirk.
"You" said Madame Illusia, pointing to the back of the room. "The gentleman - and I DO mean gentleman - just
about to leave"
Eyes turned to see a tall, very handsome, very well-dressed young man who had stopped to look in and was
turning away. Madame Illusia caught his eye and he felt a sudden and irresistible force pulling him to the
stage.
Murmurs of amusement and envy broke out in the crowd as the young man walked up the stage, the heels of his
expensive shoes clicking smartly on the wooden floor.
"What is your name SIR?" asked Madame Illusia's son with a grin. "What brings you here, what is your age and
what do you want tonight?"
"There is nothing I want from you" he said. "I am a law student. I am 23. I have everything I want. My name is
Timothy Porter. I was on the way to a fraternity party. I just stopped by - I have no interest in this freak
show at all"
"Ah! Freak show!" said Madame Illusia. "A gentleman who has everything! In that case, the question should be -
what can YOU give to others! I will show you!"
"I am not interested" said Timothy Porter.
"I did not ask your opinion!" said Madame Illusia. "You have so much, as you say! It is time to share and for
us to enjoy the profits! Here is a man who has all the world has to offer! So much - and most people have so
little. It's time to share the wealth - whether you like it or not."
"I'm leaving" said Timothy Porter. But he could not move his feet. His will seemed like jello. "What is going
on?" he said, his voice shaking slightly.
Stephen smiled and announced to the crowd. "It's auction time! Mr. Timothy Porter, law student will auction
off all of his possessions to member of the audience willing to bid. Everything he has is up for sale"
The unruly audience roared its approval.
"WHAT?" cried Timothy. "Let me out of here!" But his feet felt as if they were glued to the floor.
A cry of delight rose from the audience.
Madame Illusia looked over the tall and good looking young man, from his head of thick, carefully groomed
blonde hair to his very expensive upper class clothes: navy blue sports jacket, white starched button down
shirt, pressed khaki trousers and her eyes rested on his gleaming mahogany colored tasseled dress loafers.
"A true upper crust, preppy gentleman. We will start with those beautiful shoes you are wearing” she said with
a nasty smile.
“My SHOES?” said Timothy. “What about them?”
“Didn't you hear us? What's the matter with you boy! They are going to be SOLD! Take them off! It's time to
sell your fancy shoes to the highest bidder" she snapped.
Timothy went white with fear and anger. "Take my SHOES off? On this dirty floor?! In a CARNIVAL! No! NO!" But
he suddenly felt a strange compulsion.
He tried with all his might to fight it.
“I said TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!” said Madame Illusia in a voice of steel.
"You seriously think I am going to sell my SHOES?” cried Timothy.
“I don’t THINK anything!” she snarled. “I KNOW! Now get those shoes off and SELL THEM!”
Timothy’s head was light and swimming. Something strange was in the atmosphere. His willpower was under
attack.
“But I...I am not wearing any socks" said Timothy. The audience laughed as he struggled with the demand.
Finally, against his will, he very slowly slid one foot out of his right shoe and then took off the other.
"Now pick them up and PRESENT them to the audience of buyers!" commanded Madame Illusia. “Show the soles and
the inside of them! A FINE shiny pair of expensive shoes!”
The barefoot preppy law student shook his head in confusion and frustration, but he picked up his $500 shoes
and showed them to the cheering crowd, lifting then up and showing them from all sides.
"SELL THEM!" Stephen yelled. “Get out there and give them a sales pitch!“
Timothy, helpless and terrified, found himself saying words that were not his own at all – but they poured out
of his mouth in a torrent of energy.
"What would you bid for these beautiful Brooks Brothers shoes, fresh from the pampered feet of a preppy law
student. Brand new. The finest leather. Just LOOK at those tassels! Size ten. No wear on the soles. What would
you pay?"
Timothy couldn't believe he was walking up and down a sleazy carnival stage on his naked white feet, selling
his own shoes - the new loafers he had bought for law school. But he was under the control of another.
"One dollar!" came a shout. "Two" "three!" The bidding went on until it reached $20 and stopped. The winner
was a very old thin man in flip flops and polyester who came up and handed the $20 to Timothy- and Madame
Illusia grabbed the money.
“Now hand over me your shoes” The old man gave Timothy a mean grin. “I’ll pay you another dollar if you get
down on your hands and knees in those fine clothes and put them on my feet for me, son”
Timothy shuddered with humiliation.
The old man handed out a dollar. “I always like to humble a rich man when I can. I don’t know why you are
selling the fancy shoes right off your feet though.”
"Get down on all fours and put the shoes on the winner" Madame Illusia snarled.
Timothy felt himself drop to his knees against his will and put his own $500 shoes on the dirty feet of this
old man. Inside he resisted and cried out in anger but outwardly he could only obey. Stephen leaned over and
slapped the soles of his bare feet while he was kneeling. "Get up off your knees pretty boy! Now we're gonna
sell that smart sports coat you got on!" Stephen roughly grabbed at the sleeve.
Timothy groaned, but was forced to slide the tailored navy blue jacket off his broad shoulders and held it up.
The bidding began again. Suddenly a hand went up. A young bald redneck yelled "I'll give you a hundred buck
for your high class coat!" A buzz of surprise moved through the audience and a smattering of applause.
"IF..." silence in the crowd. "IF" he continued "I get all your pretty blonde HAIR too!"
A shocked silence was followed by a roar of applause and laughter.
"WHAT?" gasped Timothy. "My HAIR!!! That is a joke right?"
Madame Illusia shouted with laughter. "OF COURSE MY FRIEND! Everything is up for sale!"
Stephen snarled "Time to get rid of the hair pretty boy!"
The bald redneck screamed with laughter. "And two hundred if I get to shave his head myself!"
"We happen to have clippers right here!" Stephen announced and pulled out of nowhere a pair of heavy duty hair
clippers.
Timothy gasped "You...you CAN'T take my hair! I can't sell my HAIR. I have class tomorrow! Job interviews! I
can’t leave here with a bald head!"
Stephen smirked. "Don't you worry mister high and mighty. It will all work out. You have no CHOICE"
The bald redneck stepped up and smiled at the handsome, privileged preppy law student and looked at his full
head of beautiful, shining blonde hair. He held a paper bag.
"I lost all ma hair when I was a young'un. I hate bein' bald. But it gives me pleasure to take the hair away
from an uppity man like you - with a full head of nice, thick hair. Blonde too! Make you into a BALDIE like
me! Say goodbye to your pretty hair boy! I'm gonna put it in this sack to keep."
Timothy was helpless to resist. He put his hand to his hair for one last time.
The redneck grinned. "That's right boy. Next time you put your hand there it will be smooth skin. You're too
tall for me to cut your hair off from where I stand. Get down on all fours again"
Laughter broke out from the audience as the humiliated preppy got back down on his hands and knees. The
redneck couldn't resist slapping his khaki covered rear end.
"Bark like a dog boy!" shouted someone in the audience.
"Good idea" shouted the bald redneck. He lifted Timothy's leg. "When I squeeze your toes, bark like my pet
dog!"
"Do it" snapped Madame Illusia. The redneck squeezed the toes that had recently been inside $500 loafers,
resting on the pedal of a Mercedes. The handsome and shamed law student let out a bark. Laughter followed.
The redneck placed the clippers to his forehead. He pushed them back slowly. A curtain of gold fell away as a
white path opened up on his scalp; the redneck gathered up the hair and put it in his bag. The audience
shouted with laughter and encouragement. Five inches of perfectly groomed blonde hair gave way slowly to
stubble. The blades were changed and the last of the stubble was cleared away. Timothy Porter, third year law
student, was now completely bald.
“From pretty boy to cueball! Get up boy!” The redneck held up the pile of golden hair to the cheering crowd
and put it back in the bag.
“Lost your uppity shoes and your pretty boy hair. What’s next?” The redneck looked him up and down and said to
Timothy “I’ll give you another hundred for those nice rich-city-boy pants and that classy white shirt you got
on. But I want to hear you sell ‘em to the crowd first to see if there is a higher bid” His grin was wide and
wicked.
Timothy whispered: “My pants. I have to take off my trousers in front of this wild crowd? I’m bald. I’m
barefoot. Now I have to sell my PANTS. This is a nightmare but it’s real.”
Madame Illusia hissed at him: “It’s real. You’re selling EVERYTHING”
Stephen laughed. “Get goin’ mister law student! Use a real sales pitch to sell the shirt and pants off your
back.
The bald law student stepped to the front of the stage and cried out “How much will you pay for these Brooks
Brothers khaki trousers I have on? And what will you bid for this high class white shirt I’m wearing! From a
genuine, bona fide preppy law school student! I already have a one hundred dollar offer!”
He was horrified by his own words – but he was being directed to say all of this.
Suddenly a voice rang out. “I’ll give you five hundred for ‘em!”
Timothy stared at the voice. A huge fat man in overalls appeared. “Five hundred – if you throw in your CAR.”
“My car…” whispered Timothy.
The fat man walked up to the stage. “I saw you getting’ out of a fine looking Mercedes Benz. I thought ‘Look
at the rich preppy in his fancy car.’ NOW look at you boy! Since you’re selling EVERYTHING, I wanna buy you
CAR too”
Madame Illusia yelled “Of course! The Mercedes is for sale! Any other offers? No? SOLD!”
Timothy desperately tried to protest, but the words would not come. This man was going to buy his state of the
art Mercedes for $500! How would he drive home?
"Well what are you waitin' for - strip off your rich boy pants! and that pretty shirt" he yelled. "I'm payin'
for 'em! I'll throw in $5 for your belt!"
The redneck who bought the hair and coat gave the money to Madame Illusia and took the expensive Brooks
Brothers sports jacket and his bag of hair. “Guess somebody else got you shirt and pants!”
Stephen pulled roughly at his khakis. "TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS! Drop them pretty boy!"
Timothy, bald and barefoot and stunned, stared at the fat man. Was this really happening? He took out his
wallet and keys - which Madame Illusia grabbed. He unbuckled his belt and his khakis dropped to the ground.
Whistles and cheers broke out in the audience at the sight of his lean, muscular legs. He took off his shirt
and the fat man took everything. "Thanks for the car boy!"
Timothy was left in his silk shorts and tee shirt and his wristwatch. His life seemed to be destroyed. But
there was more.
Madame Illusia went on. “Don’t leave yet! Timothy has still more to sell! Who would like to have some of this
preppy law student’s ambition? A lawyer’s ambition! THAT is something to have!”
"My ambition" thought Timothy with horror. "She CANNOT take THAT from me! Can she? NO! NO!"
Timothy stood on the stage in his underwear with his gold watch, bald and exhausted “Who wants to buy my
ambition?”
An old man grabbed a young man next to him and dragged him up to the stage.
“I’ll give you fifty dollars for all of your ambition! I want it for my son!”
The bored looking son just stared. “Sold” said Madame Illusia and took the money. She ran her hand across
Timothy’s face. He shuddered and a current of energy moved from him into the young man. Timothy’s shoulders
slumped and the young man stood up straight.
“Now auction off your underwear” said a relentless Madame Illusia.
Timothy said in the same salesman voice “How much will you pay for a law student’s high quality designer
underwear?”
The bids began. So many! The amounts kept rising. Finally, one loud voice said “ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!”
It was the same man who had bought his shoes.
“SOLD” said Madame Illusia and the man came up to Timothy, still wearing the shiny tasseled loafers he had
purchased. His feet clicked on the way up while Timothy’s bare feet made no noise now.
"I love these shoes I bought off you. Real comfortable! Now I'm gonna take off your high class underwear, son”
said the old man. “It’s mine now. I never bought another man’s skivvies before. Look at you now. You got a
different future. You ain’t gonna be a lawyer. You looked like you never wore a pair of shoes in your life!
Now quit stallin' – and get down on your hands and knees. i want you on all fours again”
Timothy got down once again. The old man grabbed the tee shirt and dragged it off him. Then he stood behind
him and reached for his his shorts. "Lift one leg at a time!" The old man grinned as he yanked off the law
student's shorts.
“I want to buy something else. I want to buy your handsome nose. I'll give you a hundred, plus my nose in
exchange" said the old man.
"You can't buy my nose. That...that is impossible" gasped a tearful Timothy. "How can I..."
"Sold!" said Madame Illusia
Timothy’s long, beautifully shaped, aristocratic nose cracked, broke and spread - growing larger and uglier.
the old man's fat, ugly nose grew narrower and its shape became beautiful - he now had Timothy’s nose and
Timothy had his.
"You ain't good lookin' anymore boy" said the old man "With no hair and a broken nose"
“What is your IQ Eric?” demanded Madame Illusia.
“135” whispered a shattered Timothy.
“Sell fifty points of your IQ” she snapped.
Timothy was now completely broken.
He took a deep breath and announced “Who will buy some of my IQ?”
The man who bought his ambition was still there with his son “Another fifty bucks. I want my boy to be a
bigshot lawyer!”
The son whispered something. The man added “My son wants your fancy gold wristwatch. I’ll give you twenty
bucks”
Stephen shouted "Well, you sure ain't gonna be a bigshot lawyer now! And you won't be needing a watch!"
“You want to take away my intelligence and my watch and give them to your son” Timothy said in a daze.
"YUP!" said the man.
The naked law school student just nodded. He took off his Rolex. Madame Illusia passed a hand over his face
again and he shuddered again and energy went from him into the young man.
The young man’s eyes shone with intelligence and confidence. Timothy’s eyes went dull. His mouth dropped open.
His IQ was a mere 85.
Stephen sneered "So pretty boy - are you gona be a lawyer?"
Timothy stuttered. "I...don't know - I don't think I know what a lawyer is"
The audience screamed with laughter.
Madame Illusia announced “Our young friend won’t be returning to his fancy law school or wearing tasseled
shoes! Not now! The world of professional success will be closed to him. HE CANNOT BE A LAWYER! He will have a
new life! Who will give our friend a job in his new life? And his name can’t be a fancy high class name like
Timothy Porter. Who wants to give our bald, naked friend a new name too?”