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CYOTF (Human)

The Hoarder next Door

added 10 years ago O

"Another day wasted" you sigh to yourself as you stare at the computer screens clock. It's nearly Five O'Clock and all you have done
today is make a bowl of nachos for lunch and surf the web. As you stare at the screen you begin to notice the ads at the side of the
webpage you are viewing.


PIPMANN'S OWN CURE ALL CREAM
For just $4.99 you can cure
almost any skin condition known!
Postage costs $5.99

You snicker at the ad. Not because it claims to cure any skin condition, which is bullshit, but because a man next door would have bought
this product already, due to his massive hoarding problem. Everyday a parcel or two arrives outside his house and is just left there. He
never opens them up! He just keeps piles and piles and PILES of unopened parcels and packages on his front yard. You would love to
see the inside of his parcel ridden house. You look at another flashy ad which reads:

JOHN'S BODY SWAPPING DEVICE
Need a new life?
Want to mix things up a bit?
Sounds like you need
The Body Swapping Device
$69.95 with free postage handling
Click here to buy now!

You stare at this one slightly confused. It's definite bullshit and you wonder who the hell would buy that this works? You look out the
window at the parcels towering over your fence. You laugh and mutter to yourself "He would". Looking closely at your fence you notice so
boxes that fell over the fence onto your property. You decide to turn the computer off and go outside to throw the parcels back. As you
throw the parcels over you read the labels.

PIPMANN'S CREAMS, you throw that back over the fence.
NATURES PRODUCTS, goodbye.
PEST AWAY, adios.
THE FAMILY BRAND, fair well.
He never buys anything exciting!

Seeing as your outside you decide to strech your legs and go for a walk.


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