The loft in the barn was smaller than I thought it would be. Laying on it was like smuggling a girl into the Ranger Academy and hoping she would come out a virgin: doomed to fail. Of course, people still tried it anyway, so there I was, laying on a few planks of wood and waiting to fall off. I wondered if it would still hurt to fall off the loft now that I was made of wood. Would I shatter? Was this would tough enough for me to just brush it off? The door opened, so I pushed myself against the wall as much as I could. It didn't help much, but I was sure Morgana would get the message I didn't want to talk. Fortunately, it wasn't Morgana. Sara climbed up next to me and sat down.
"Wine?" She asked.
"Sure." I said. I didn't usually drink, but I needed to get my mind off of what was going on. I took my cup and started to sip at it.
"I don't get it Sara. Why do you go along with what Morgana does?" I asked.
Sara took a minute to think it over before she answered. "Because... I'm not sure actually. At first I was just too shocked to stop her. Now though... Maedel, as hard as it is for you to believe, I do think she cares for us somewhat." She said.
"Yeah, cares enough to put us through hell every day." I said in between sips of wine.
"Maedel, think about it. She listened to me when I asked her to give you life again, and she didn't think twice about letting you keep your mobility." Sara said.
"You're right Sara, I should be grateful that she stole my life, but then let me keep small parts of it." I said. Did she really think that made it better? I spent weeks without being able to even flinch, and the fact that someone else made it so I could move again was supposed to make me like Morgana?
"Look at it this way, she brought us with. She cares enough that she didn't want us to die back in the castle. And don't give me any talk about my just being useful, she was just handed another princess. This one even has hordes of men out searching for her minutes after she got here." Sara said.
"Sara... I can't accept it. At least not now. She took too much from me to forgive already. Time may heal all wounds, but I need more to heal properly." I said.
"I understand." Sara replied. I sat back for a couple minutes and thought about what she said. After that, I responded.
"You know, it's funny. I've had problems in the past, and whenever someone said that to me, I didn't believe them. Here though, I think you're right. You must be hurting as much as I am right now." I said.
After that, we were quiet for a long time. We just sat there. It was around then that I realized I had started to cry. To my surprise, it was actual water too. I finished the drink and laid back. I felt awful. It made it a little better to have Sara there with me. She was deep in thought, so I didn't try talking to her. Not that I had much to say anymore. At that point, it was more important that I just stop crying. Rangers don't cry. They especially don't cry because they failed their missions and were sitting in a loft next to the person they were supposed to rescue. Oh good grief, I was just making it worse. I assured myself I would be OK. I just needed some time, preferably spent away from Morgana.