As soon as we left the prison we ran into trouble. The whole town was in an uproar. They'd managed to put out
the fires but everyone was outside wondering what on earth was happening. It didn't take them long to spot us
and cries of "Look the prisoners are escaping!" brought many pitchfork bearing local upon us as well as the
guests from the Royal Wedding many of which I knew were nobles from West Kingdom. We didn't know what to do
but before we could make a decision the jester stepped in.
The crowd seemed to excite Queeny the Jester and she started bobbing up and down rhythmically. She threw one
of her balls into the air, snapped her fingers before catching it in the same hand, though now it was no
longer a ball but a brass trumpet. She held it in both hands close to her lips, taking a deep breath. The
crowd of guards, villagers and nobles watched in anticipation before she unceremoniously bent over putting her
head between her legs and shoving the trumpet up her arse by the mouth piece. I couldn't hide my appalled look
if I'd tried. The crowd laughed at the jesters antics. As she clenched her fists and face the trumpet let out
a terrific noise PRRRRRRT. The laughter of the crowd was riotous. Children and adults a like chuckled and
pointed.
"Testing, testing," Queeny shouted and roughly squeezed her right boob then left boob in turn. BOING, DOING.
They sounded off like some bizarre musical instruments. Then she combined the three noises and the bells on
her hat and ankles as she danced and sang like a buffoon.
PRRRT PRRRT BOING DOING PRRRT PRRRT BOING DOING ~
Call me Queeny the jester with a trumpet in my bottom
I wasn't always this way so I'll tell you what went on
ran afoul of a dragon who turned me into a dirty, sexy clown
I bet you cannot guess who I was until now
What a fool I am to have married that man
made a fool out of myself like very few can
watch me jiggle dance fart and play
something I would never do before today
now I will dance for you and I will lick your boot
there is no limit to how low I woll stoop
Once I was a Queen, a bitter, selfish, prude
Now I live to serve, to pleasure and be rude
I would look at the poor without an ounce of pity
and I'm paying for that now with my dignity
I was high and mighty, stern and regal
Now I'm a slutty tart and barely legal
From royal charter to dirty gutter
keep cheering me on, it makes me sluttier!
So look at me and laugh at me!
The epitome of humility
I am the bitch Queen Rachel of the West
My reputation was once the very best
Now laugh at me and how my life turned to a mess
I've always had respect for the arts
Now the music I love is the sound of farts
My boobs have grown but not as much as my butt
and my favorite son has become a little elf slut
Although, you should know she is very, very cute
If you'd like you can see her in her birthday suit
We are on our way to a country getaway
You see my daughter must escort her friend the witch
who got turned into a toilet for being a bitch
we need her back to fight the dragon
and to do that we need to borrow your wagon
I'll say it again in case you have forgotten
you can call me Queeny the clown with a trumpet up my bottom
So look at me and laugh at me and my utter lack of dignity
I do not need your sympathy, a fool is what I deserve to be
so remember who I am, Queen Rachel of the West
when I am utterly humiliated is when I'm at my best
you see, now I'm free to jiggle, dance, fart and jest
so look at me and laugh at me Queen Rachel of the West
She waved goodbye from the back of the wagon as we left. Blowing kisses and throwing signed pictures of
herself into the crowd that she seemed to pull from her cleavage a long with a chain of handkerchiefs. As she
bent down to give one last bow to the adoring cloud the trumpet still in her large bottom came to life one
last time before she pulled it out. It seemed mother, or rather Queeny the clown, was done humiliating herself
and somehow distracted everyone long enough for us to take the cart. I couldn't believe this... this village
idiot was my mother. I put my arms around a shivering Arn. She too had been utterly humiliated during the
performance. It wasn't enough to expose Andrews transformation from Prince to Elf maiden, she had to expose
Arn's body too. Neither of us expected her to actually tear off Arn's clothing during the song. I was just
glad I didn't suffer the same kind of humiliation. Morgana may be a little peeved if she finds out the whole
town knows she's a toilet though...