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Big ass, Dumbass

added 10 years ago BM O

“…This.” Jack fires the ray at you before you can react. You feel dizzy for a moment and feel as though you’re moving slowly. You put your hands to your head as you try to clear your… uh that, uhhh. You start ta drool all over yerself as you try tah come up with that, uh, talky thingy for the thing in yer head that, uh…

“Hey Brainiac, how you doing?” Oh yeah, Jack’s here. He can help, he usually figures this stuff out.

“Uhh, Jack?” You say, trying to come up with those talky things. “Wut’s uhh, dis?” You say as you point yer finger at yer head.

“That’s your head, genius.” He says with a big smile on his face. “Uhh, nah Ah mean dat other thing.” You say, still pointing to yerself.

“You don’t have another thing.” He says. You could swear there was a, uhh…

*PBBBBBBBRRRRRTTT* Ya let out a big ol’ fart outta yer big ol’ butt! It sounded funny and made ya feel so good that ya jus’ can’t help giggling like mad.

“Whoo, that was a big one buddy!” Jack hollers. You keep on laughin’, you can’t stop.

“You’re just laughing like an idiot there aren’t you? Of course that’s because you are an idiot. I bet you like being dumb as a stump don’t you?” Jack was right, ya loved bein’ a dumbass with a big ass an’ lots a’ gas. There weren’t nothin’ you liked more than rippin’ a blast outta yer ass an’ laughin’ like hell ‘bout it. A big dumb smile was stuck tah yer face now. Ya bet ya look dumb as hell right now, an’ that’s alright, cuz yew are.

“Now let’s see here, what next?” Jack says as he looks at duh funny ray gun. Ya try tah listen but then ya feel another fart comin’ an’ start gigglin’ already.


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