"I'm really, really not sure about this." Charles said.
"Oh, come now Charles. Actually, I suppose we can't really call you that anymore." Steven said.
"How about Cindy?" Mary Ellen suggested.
"Your parents are a riot." Loki said, leaning back in his chair.
"What do you mean?" Charles asked.
"Or Candy?" Mary Ellen continued.
"I put an acceptance spell on them so they wouldn't do anything stupid, but it shouldn't have gone this far. It's actually pretty funny. I mean, they're so chipper, I'd think they were a fifties sitcom." Loki said.
"Don't talk about my parents that way." Charles said, glaring at Loki.
"I always like Cathy." Steven said.
"They're rather oblivious, aren't they? Wrapped up in their own little world." Loki said.
"They were just fine until you came along." Charles said.
"What about Christine?" Mary Ellen said.
"Okay, I've had about enough of you two." Loki said, snapping his fingers. Mary Ellen and Steven froze in place.
"Oh God!" Charles said.
"Present." Loki said.
"Fix them." Charles said.
"Oh please, they'll be fine in a minute or two. Time delays are easy. Anyway, I really wanted to talk to you anyway." Loki said.
"Why should I listen to you?" Charles asked.
"I said I could get you into any school you want to attend. Any at all." Loki said.
"Yeah, and I can see how that turned out for me." Charles said.
"Oh please, being a woman is fine. I've been female more times than I care to count." Loki said.
"I'm not a crazy ass god." Charles said.
"You took the words right out of my mouth. You see, I'm offering you a full ride scholarship to the best school in this world, or any of the other eight." Loki said.
"Eight?" Charles asked.
"Yes, we can cover that later. Point is, I could use someone around to bounce ideas off of, have at my side, use as bait, train the mind of, develop as my successor." Loki said.
"What was that about bait?" Charles asked.
"Just like the majority of those suggestions, it was a load of shit. Mostly, I just want someone around to dick around with." Loki said.
"And why should I go with you?" Charles asked.
"Immortality. Phenomenal powers. Infinite wealth." Loki said.
"You make a surprisingly convincing argument." Charles said.
"I do indeed. So what do you say? You wanna be my sidekick?" Loki asked.