Patrick sighed and stared at himself, 12 years old he was a bit chubby but he was blonde haired and had blue eyes behind his glasses. He was a hopelessly nerdy liking comic books and sci-fi but he secretly liked something more, clowns. His earliest memory was of a clown, they seemed so funny, carefree, happy and silly; not having to worry about being cool at your best friend’s birthday party. He styled his hair the best he could and choose a 'cool' outfit and ran over to Seth's house. He went in and was greeted by Seth and a bunch of kids from school. Seth was his only real friend of the bunch but at least he knew everyone else's name. They started to play video games; Patrick kept to the back of the group letting everyone else play while he just watched. The doorbell rang and
Seth's dad answered it "Please come in" Patrick hears before "Seth, the clowns are here"
Patrick's heart stops as he feels a rush of adrenaline wash through his veins; excitement fills him as he turns and smiles. One was an auguste and the other was a hobo. Seth shouted "Dad, I said I didn't want a clown. They're stupid." without even turning from the video game he was playing. Patrick remembered he was supposed to be cool and not like clowns now but it was hard not to. The auguste clown sighed and reached into his pocket for some red balls before starting to juggle them. Patrick couldn't help but smile again as the other kids turned to watch.
"If we are stupid can we do this?" the clown asked. He suddenly toss each of the balls at his friends as they come down into his hand. Patrick didn't even have a chance to duck the ball thrown at him as it hit his nose, his eyes crossed and saw a smudge of red at the bottom of his vision. A euphoric feeling raced over him, he felt funny and silly. His eyes uncrossed and he looked up at the clowns over his clown nose and his like of clowns increased.
"Still think clowns are stupid?" the auguste clown asked
"No clowns are the best" was echoed around Patrick, he looked around amazed at the change of heart of all the boys. He smiled and was happy that everyone thought they were cool now and he didn't have to pretend.
"I am Razz" the auguste clown introduced himself before pointing to the hobo "and this is Hootz" Hootz stepped forward to take a bow and his pants fell down. He tripped over them and landed face first to everyone’s delight and laugher erupted. Patrick laughed with everyone else staring at the clowns bright purple and pink polka dotted boxers marveling at how silly clowns got to be. He felt a stirring inside himself and grabbed his crotch as he wished he could be that silly and carefree.
"Ready for the show?" Razz asks everyone as Hootz gathers himself from the floor.
"YES" was shouted as the universal answer
"Uh, Hootz can you help me back here with the ummm.... presents." says a father in the back. Hootz makes his way into a bedroom with him and Patrick is disappointed to see him go but Razz starts up the show.
"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?" the boys shrug "Because he didn't have the guts." Laughter erupts again. Patrick felt the stirring in him again, jealousy, excitement and longing, he wanted to make people laugh like that. More jokes followed with much success. He heard some odd noises from down the hall but Razz started a magic show and he didn't think about it. Razz pulled a large stuffed rabbit out of a small hat and then pulled a impossibly large hat out of the stuffed rabbit. Patrick sat in rapt attention as he watched amazing acts of magic being performed. Excitement filled him as he watched and he started to notice a tingle running across his skin. He looked down at his arm and noticed it looked a little pale. His thoughts were interrupted as Razz announced time for the cake. Everyone was ushered into the kitchen and gathered around the table as Seth's father put the cake in front of Seth. Razz led the boys through singing happy birthday and Seth blew out the candles before Patrick sees Razz slip away and Seth dive into his presents. There were the usual video games that all the boys itched to play and new toys a new RC truck. Patrick grew bored and slipped out of the kitchen and walked down the hall. He paused before the bedroom and heard strange noises before going into the bathroom. Flicking on the light he jumped back as he saw his reflection. It was different and as he got a closer look excitement filled him. The boy in the mirror had a clown nose on and it stood out bright and red on his face above a wide smile, his face was pale, not sickly pale but just lacking in color except for his lips which seemed to be getting redder as he looked closer. The boy was him and he looked different and it excited him he almost looked like a turning into a clown. He had his face painted as a clown when he went to the circus or when he insisted he dress up as one for Halloween but as he got older he no longer did any of it as people expected him to grow out of that and clowns became 'uncool'. He stared at his face, this was more than just face paint or pretending, he felt it, it looked real like Razz or Hootz. Tingles raced across his skin as he felt excitement at his new appearance and wondered at how it happened. Finally he had to look away as the feeling were getting to be too much for him and with great difficulty he pissed and left the bathroom avoiding the mirror with all his self-resolve. He walked down the hall glancing at his pale arms, rubbing his hands over the smooth skin and rejoined the group that had moved to the living room and were taking turns playing the new video games. He looked at the other boys and noticed that some looked paler, none as much as him, and some looked pinker or peacher except around their eyes and mouth, it was barely noticeable. Again excitement overwhelmed him and tingles raced over him as he thought of the possibilities. His friends though clowns were cool now ever since they got the clown noses and the changes started then so that must be it. He ran his finger over the nose and shuddered in euphoria and looked around to see if anybody noticed, everyone was too absorbed in the video games and all of the fathers were somewhere else. The fathers passed through with smiles on their faces like they were having a good time. Patrick tried to concentrate on the video games and even played a few feeling for once as part of the group. Razz and Hootz appear and go into the kitchen for a minute before exiting and walk around collecting all the clown noses. Patrick feels a great sadness as he sees them being collected, he hoped that they would still think clowns were cool and he suspected that the clown noses were making everyone look more clown like. Razz walked over to him and he slowly removes the nose feeling the loss as he takes it off and slowly hands it to Razz. Razz whispers 'Keep it' and Patrick smiles as excitement fills him again and he gives Razz a big hug before slipping the nose in his pocket.