"You're not the pizza boy!" Jeff blurted out when he opened the door.
"No, we're not, son," said the police patrolman who was maybe 2 years older than Jeff.
"We're investigating a missing person. A guy named Nick, we were told he lives here," said the other officer.
"Uh, my brother Nick is missing?" Jeff asked.
Nick apparently heard and grew stiff. Jeff shifted his legs trying to conceal the growing tent in his jeans.
"Yes. He was didn't show up at Mr. Herschel's last night, and he hasn't answered his cell phone."
"I thought you wouldn't investigate a missing person unless they were gone 24 hours. Nick hasn't been missing that long has he?"
"You haven't noticed your brother is missing?"
"Well, he hasn't been around the house, but he routinely disappears for days at time. It's not unusual."
"Ah, but it is unusual that he isn't here or at Mr. Herschel's."
"Why would he be at Mr. Herschel's?" Jeff asked naively.
The two cops looked at each other and grinned knowingly. Jeff then noticed that one officer's badge said NYC and the other's said Los Angeles. He noticed that the seams on the trousers had velcro. Then he heard the Chronivac ping.
"Okay, you're not cops. Is this a joke? Did Nick put you up to this?"
"No, joke. Your brother is missing. If you can think of any place he might have gone call us."
The older man handed Jeff a business card. It was from a detective agency.
"I'm not hiring detectives."
"No, Mr. Herschel hired us. In a few hours the real police will be coming around to ask questions. You better have answers for them."
"What? Why? Get out of here!" Jeff said slamming the door.
A minute later he heard voices and looked out on the door step the phony cops were questioning the pizza boy. The pizza was okay, but not as hot as it would have been if the detectives hadn't kept the pizza boy standing on the walkway for 20 minutes before they let him deliver the pizza.
They got into a car and staked out the house. Jeff couldn't have them disappearing from in front of his house, so he called the real police.
An hour later, the real police chased the phony police off. An hour after that the Chronivac pinged. Jeff dropped trou to see what was happening.
Jimmy and Rudy were in the black sedan they rented eating burgers, when they started to get running noses. Mucous was everywhere. Rudy sneezed, and produced a puddle of white goo on the dashboard.
"Rude? You been snorting cum?"
"Haha, must be allergic to something. Damn my clothing doesn't seem to fit anymo-" Rudy swelled up and vanished leaving an empty pile of clothing. Jim grabbed the cell phone and dialed Mr. Herschel. By the time he answered, the cell phone was lying atop Jim's empty police uniform.
"Aargh!'
"AAAAH!"
The tiny screams came from Jeff's crotch.
"Hey, detectives you found Nick!" Jeff announced to the two bulging bodies hanging from between his thighs.
"What the hell! You cannot do this to us!" shouted the younger man. He was now a rotund torso with tiny arms and head, his legs were the skin hanging from between Jeff's thighs.
"Already did. What's your names?"
"I'm Jimmy Freehold!"
"I'm Rudy Gomez!"
"Nah, you're Lefty - Jim - my left testicle, an Rudy, you're my right ball."
"What the fuck?"
"Soon. When you're transformed, I'll have to take you and Nick for a test drive."
"Where is Nick?" demanded Jim.
"Oh, he's my dick."
"Mmfmft!" shouted Rudy as his mouth and head disappeared in the nut sac hanging from Jeff.
Jimmy didn't even get a chance to say that.
Jeff looked in the mirror and grinned.