Patrick resisted the urge and placed the nose in a box and on the top shelf of the bookcase. Sitting down he still could not get over what had happened, Jac becoming a clown and Jac kissing him. He could still feel his lips on his and the warmth of his body against his, he shivered. His Mom called him down to dinner and he automatically ate his body on autopilot as his mind still tried to grasp what had happened. Time ticked by slowly that evening as the draw of the clown nose kept his mind occupied. He was terrified and even more excited by it now. What could he do about Jac he was happy now but his life as Jack seemed to have disappeared all because he wanted someone to clown around with. The afternoon was more fun than he could have imagined up until he ran off through the window. And the kiss he wiped his mouth still feeling his lips on his and his body still felt the warmth of his from the embrace. His mom and he sat on the couch watching TV. Patrick started to picture his friends in a new way Brian, Seth, Joe, Dan. He ran over them in his head thinking how cute they were and what it would be like to kiss them. What would they look like as clowns? His mom was talking to him and he pulled his thoughts back to reality.
"Bed time, NOW." Patrick started to get up but realized it would be a little embarrassing right now.
"A little longer, PLEASE."
"NO, bed now." Patrick put his hand carefully in his pocket and shuffled out of the room. He went to his room and stripped to put on his PJs and stopped. He looked at himself in the mirror admiring his body. He was a bit chubby but his blue eyes gleamed out from under his blond hair. He didn't spend a lot of time in the sun so his skin was pale and still smooth. He imagined it chalk white and his eyes found the box on his bookcase. Jac seemed so happy and carefree as a clown. And the kiss. Why couldn't he get it out of his mind? And why did he keep thinking about his friends? Was he ...........
The half-finished thought drove him to throw on some PJs and climb into bed. He lay awake for a while even after he heard his mom go to bed. He dreamed of Brian and him at a school dance embracing each other dancing to a slow song, Patrick had his head resting on his shoulder before he looked up into Brian’s silly face. Brian now had a large red nose, flawless white skin and blue lips forming a wonderful smile. Patrick looked past his own red nose that had suddenly appeared into Brian's eyes and they leaned in their colorful lips touching. A tingle runs down his body as he closed his eyes, their noses brush each other and everything goes quiet before a loud alarm started to sound. Patrick's eyes snapped open wondering where Brian went to before he realized he was in his bed and he reached over and hit the alarm clock, feeling more like throwing it across the room.
He got up and got ready for school. On the bus his eyes followed the jeans worn by every boy as they walked down the aisle. Once they got to school Patrick stood around with his friends talking and his eyes kept falling down admiring their bodies and then he would realize what he was doing and snap back up. Mary walked by the group and he saw Brian's eyes follow her and he looked at her. He felt the usual feeling of wanting flow through him at the sight of her. But now we questioned his feelings for her, did he want to be with her or did he want the attention that she got from boys? He looked at Brian admiring him; he was a jock on the soccer team and was in great shape. He was popular with everyone being a top scorer on the team.
"Patrick aren't you going to say hello to your girlfriend?" Brian asked the group to their laughter and Patrick looked at him and saw an odd look on his face. He had caught him checking him out and he felt himself start to blush. The rest of the group noticed and thought it was because of the question and laughed harder. Patrick avoided Brian for the rest of the day but could not get him out of his mind. Patrick wondered if he liked Brian in the end he decided it didn't matter as he would never see Patrick that way. Unless, Patrick's thoughts returned to the clown nose and Jac. He could change things, maybe just for a little while? Patrick imagined the fun they could have; he would have to be careful though. He thought through his plan all day till he had to go to bed. He turned out the lights and laid down only to hear a soft knocking at his window. Patrick bolted up in bed and turned to the window to find Jac's smiling face looking back at him.