John gripped his axe tightly as a figure on horseback trotted into view. It was an elf, dressed in regal clothing. He was very tall, and had long, blonde hair, with equally long ears. Glancing at the three people in his path, his handsome face lit up with joy upon the sight of Jenny. John looked back at Jenny. Her face showed a rather complex emotion. She recognized the stranger, but she wasn’t overly thrilled to see him. “Princess!” the elf exclaimed, practically leaping from his horse. “You’re...you’re alive! Are you…” he trailed off.
To sum up the scene, John was an orc, and both this stranger and the princess he rescued were elves. Elves and orcs had a history of hatred and violence and rape. Which is why it made John look extremely guilty, standing naked and towering over the princess with a battle axe. “Oh no,” John quickly stated, dropping his axe and putting his hands in the air in a surrender posture. “No no no. It’s not what it looks--”
The elf warrior unsheathed his sword in a single motion and pointed the tip of the blade and John’s throat. “Orc scum! You’ll pay for what you did to our princess! I, Kaecinus Bravelight, shall end your atrocious life and deliver your hideous head to the rest of your goat-fucking tribe! They’ll see what happens when you commit these unspeakable crimes against our royal family!”
“Kaecinus, no!” Jenny shouted, just as the elf began his windup with his sword.
“Hope you enjoy your trip to hell, swine!” he gloated, with a horrible grin on his face. Then -- “Ack!” Sanin had leapt from behind the two and attempted to tackle Kaecinus. He really just knocked him off balance and his sword wavered. John took the opportunity to dash behind Jenny. The elf wheeled around and furiously glared at the dwarf. “Treasonous dirtbag!” he seethed. “Why do you defend this vermin? You’re next!” he said, readying his sword once again.
“Kaecinus Bravelight, your princess commands you to cease this attack at once!” Jenny’s voice pierced through the argument. The elf’s jaw dropped slightly and his face showed unmistakable confusion. Orcs and elves were mortal enemies. Why was she defending him?
“Yes, my lady,” Kaecinus said in a flat voice, slowly dropping his sword. “But, if I may ask...why?”
Jenny turned her head to look John in his red eyes. “Because he saved my life,” she said. “And he deserves that much. You need to go home. Thank you for your assistance. Kaecinus and I will return to our kingdom.” She turned her back. “Go.”
John’s heart broke. “A..alright,” he said sadly. “Goodbye, princess.”
“Yeah, go home and screw your sister!” the male elf jeered. “The both of you are halfway there. Haven’t you ever heard of clothes?”
John felt an orc’s rage overwhelming him. He saw a very clear mental picture of blood spurting from this pissant orc’s neck after he had chopped his head off with his axe. He took a step towards Kaecinus, but Jenny raised her hand, stopping him.
“Kaecinus,” the princess said in the same cutting tone as before. “Haven’t you any extra garments for the two men that saved me?”
The elf sighed. “Of course, my lady,” he muttered. He walked over to his horse and took a thin horse blanket out of a basket. He tossed it towards the two men. “Here,” he said curtly. The blanket landed with a cloud of dust on the dirt road. Jenny and Kaecinus mounted the horse, and without another word, the two were off.
“Fucking bullshit,” John muttered. He grabbed the blanket and angrily ripped it in two with his orc strength. He handed the second half to Sanin. They both rolled up the blanket and shoved their respective junk into it, making loincloths. It felt good to not be exposed, at long last.
“Look,” Sanin said as he dressed, “All elves are cunts. I’m only nice to the dame because I havta be if I wanna keep me head about the rest of me body.”
“Ssh,” John said, raising a finger. He could hear the two elves with his powerful orc hearing. They thought they were out of earshot.
“Your highness, I’m so happy you’re unharmed. Everyone will be delighted to see you. But why, pray, would an orc have saved your life?”
“He wasn’t an orc, soldier. He spoke better than you did, considering you ought to know better than spout filth like that in front of a lady.”
“Apologies, madam. But I feared for your safety.”
“That’s no excuse. If you had paid any attention, you’d have noticed that he had no piercings or tattoos. How many orcs do you know of that don’t have any of those?”
“It is highly unusual.”
“Meaning he likely wasn’t an orc at all, but a shape shifter. I have reason to believe this because when I first saw him, he was in the form of a dragon.”
“A...dragon?”
“Yes, a dragon. So with your conduct, I think you should be the one fearing for safety.”
The two were quiet for some time. As the horse’s hoof beats began to fade, John walked down the road, following them. “It is good to see you,” Kaecinus said, his voice now much less forceful. “I know when last I saw you, we, um, didn’t part on good terms, but--”
“We won’t part on good terms ever, you dick!” she exploded. There was a sound of a slap. “You got me drunk and took advantage of me! And the king--I mean, my father won’t do anything about it because he thinks you’re some great warrior, when I know the truth! My father loves you more than me!” There was a pregnant pause. “Just get me home,” she spat.
A grin broke out on John’s face. That elf had been knocked down a few pegs by Jenny. “I feel better now,” he said to Sanin, who had walked up behind John.
“Why?” Sanin asked, then shook his head. “Neva mind. I don’t wanna know. Well, what now?”