At first, we didn't even talk. We just stared at one another, our mouths hanging open in shock.
Finally, she spoke. "Who, The hell, are you?" So far, I could tell that
A. She was Australian.
B. She was pissed.
I couldn't even speak. I eventually managed to stammer "You... You're a... A kangaroo..."
"Astute observation, dumbass." She started searching the room. "Where the hell are my clothes...?" She said, bent over. I watched her for a while, like I was in a trance, before looking for my clothes as well.
After a bit of looking, I found my bag. As I put on my pants, I checked my phone, and say that someone had left me a message.
"Hey, Rick!" It was one of my friends. Mark, to be exact. "Damn, you should have seen yourself last night! Listen, we're a bit busy right now, so tell us where you are, and we'll pick you up!"
I thought he was done, but then I heard "Oh, and congrats on the Aussie chick!"
I closed the phone, exasperated. "So, who are you?" I asked.
"What do you care?"
"I'd like to know who you are."
She scoffed. "My name's Ruby. Now go away."
I was almost finished putting my clothes on when I saw a small disc in my bag. The cover read "Fast Vegas wedding video."
"Uh, you might want to see this..." I told Ruby. I popped the disc into the T.V.
I saw Ruby and I, both of us obviously drunk. I was wearing a tuxedo, and her a very cheap wedding dress. We exchanged our vows in slurred voices, and then, much to my horror, we kissed.
"No." I stood up, not believing what I had seen. "You and me are..."
Ruby didn't say a word. Instead she simply nuzzled her face in her paws. "Oh god, this has to be a nightmare..." I got out my phone, and picked up a nearby hotel flyer. "What are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm calling my friends to pick us up. We're getting a divorce."