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The Magic Shop

Lazy lout, layabout, there's a place for you at the zoo

added by Drakkenfyre 8 years ago A O

"Liars lie, but lions lie too," added the gypsy shaking her head.

You scoff and shake your head, and wander into the park. It's a nice sunny day, and you soon find yourself sprawled out lying on a landscape boulder enjoying the sun.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing," said a man's voice.

You open your eyes and yawn loudly.

There are two men there staring at you. You smack your lips and look lazily at them,

"You lie there so well," said the first man continuing, "How would you like a job where you could lie around in the sun all day?"

"And he yawns like one too," said the second man excitedly.

"Shush," said the first to the second.

"Lie around sunning myself? I'm not doing a gig as a towel boy at your hotel. Did that once. Not lying around at all. Constantly getting people towels and lotion. And then having to rub lotion on those fat old women, and horny young gay guys. No siree, no more pool boy jobs for me."

"No. I'm not from a hotel. The zoo is where I work. We thought maybe, you could fill in for our empty exhibit."

"Yeah, lion dies from feline AIDS."

"Hush!"

"No worries, people can't get it. Can they?"

"Shush"

"You'll pay to lie around in the sun? How much?"

"$200 a day to start."

"Do I have to wear a lion suit?"

"No, costume required."

"Oh, Homo sapiens on display," you say sitting up and stretching. "Okay, I'm game."

"You will be," snickered the second man. Which earned him a sharp elbow from the first.

"Right this way. We'll have you fill out the paperwork, and Doc Moreau will take a look see that you're healthy before you go on display."

"Hey, I thought you or he said, people could catch cat diseases?"

"No, no. You misunderstand. Drug test, and physical required of all zoo employees."

"Well, okay then. Lead on. Do I get paid at the end of each day or weekly?"

"Usually, it's semi-monthly," said the second man.

"But since you're new, I will be happy to pay you daily or weekly. All you have to do is say, "Pay me now," and I will."

"Pay me now," you say.

"Consider it an advance," he says handing you two crisp $100 bills.

"Hey, I never got an advance!" complained the second man.

"You never asked."

"If I were to ask?"

"I'm sure Dr. Moreau will be able to find another position for you," the first man said grinning menacingly at the second, who cringed visibly at the suggestion.


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