Oh no! thought Jack. Not puberty again! As a girl!
He remembered being a teenager, gawky, feeling uncomfortable. It was worse for girls: growing breasts, getting their period.
He got up to bang on the door to get someone to help him, but with dismay, he realised the door was gone and the room seemed to be descending - it must be some kind of elevator.
Jack sighed and read on in the instruction manual to see what other damage he'd wrought.
By choosing coke to drink, he'd be a brunette - at least I won't be a dumb blond, he thought.
By choosing the carrots, he'd have green eyes. He wasn't sure there was any logic to that correlation.
Oh and then the mashed potatoes. The mashed potatoes determined the effects of puberty. The more mashed potato, the longer and more extreme the effects of raging teenage hormones would be. The manual suggested a single small serving would be sufficient for normal development, and no more than two helpings was recommended in any situation.
Jack became worried as he read on, remembering the huge pile of mashed potatoes he'd piled onto his plate. The manual said:
***Too much mash will lead to the effects of puberty starting early (perhaps around 8 or 9 years of age) and ending late (possibly well into the twenties), the usual development of secondary sexual characteristics will go on during this period, as will the usual unease caused by fluctuating hormone levels during puberty. Persons choosing to be female in the Next Life should definitely avoid this option as the very extreme effects of over-developed secondary sexual characteristics are more difficult to deal with both physically and mentally than the corresponding effect of over muscling in the male***
Bugg..., thought Jack, but before he could worry properly, the room had faded out and he was fast asleep.