Chad, noticed he was leaving a trail of mucky footprints on the sidewalk, so he started to walk on the grass. It was still early morning, and not many were out.
A pickup truck roared down the street, with a kid in back throwing newspapers as it went by. He was going too fast to notice that the one he threw had struck a silhouetted figure and embedded itself part way through his mucky body. Chad pulled the paper out of his side, and patted his mucky body back into shape. He tossed the paper in the yard. The paperboy would get a call later that day from his boss about a complaint from one of his customers getting a paper covered in manure.
The sprinklers went off at one of the yards that Chad was cutting through. He felt his shitty flesh starting to melt and managed to make it to the next yard intact. He was much more careful, as he ran across yards to avoid sprinklers. He made it to the school, and was pleased to see that someone else was here and had left the locker room door open. He froze when he saw his reflection in the mirror. He heard footsteps and voices coming toward him. He saw some empty canvas bags in the bin next to the door, and climbed inside. Hopefully, they would mistake him as a bag of laundry.
"Oh, Jose, look at the muck you tracked in!" complained the coach.
"Not me, Coach, see!" Jose replied pointing at his dry boots.
"Well, one of your crew tracked it in then, and is that a bag of manure?" Coach asked pinching his nose and pointing at the canvas bag Chad was hiding in. Brownish ooze could be seen staining the canvas.
"Must be Julio!" exclaimed Jose angrily, "I'll take care of this." He hoisted the bag of Chad on to his shoulder and headed out to the field.