The sky was a sullen grey, the clouds hanging low in the sky. It smelled of rain. Down the damp streets walked Jason, a young man in his twenties. He wore his brown hair short, with a touch of scruff on his chin. He wore a graphic tee on his skinny frame, the graphics themselves flaked and worn after too many washes. Over top, he had an unbuttoned, red flannel shirt to keep out the chill. Still, he shivered a little.
He felt how the sky looked. He was supposed to be on a blind date with some girl at a restaurant. He had met her there, and the conversation between them just refused to start. He had decided to go to the bathroom to try and collect himself, but when he came back out, he caught a glimpse of her leaving with some other guy. Of course, she had stuck him with the bill for both their meals.
Alone, Jason was making his way back to his apartment the same way he had left, on foot. He did his best thinking while walking, but the only thought that occurred to him at that moment was he was going to get wet pretty soon. That's when something caught his eye, something that stuck out from the gray sky, the gray walls, and the gray street.
Before him, Jason could see the bright orange exterior of a building. Above the shiny, red double doors was a large, hot pink neon sign. It read in large, looping letters, "TINA FONTAINE'S TRANSFORMATIONAL BAR" with smaller letters in parentheses below adding "and "Grill" as though it were an afterthought. Jason didn't remember seeing the building on his way to the restaurant and his botched blind date, nor had he ever heard of such an establishment bearing such a title. He could just barely hear the faint voices of conversation come from within, as well as a subtle whiff of something deep-fried and steak, probably the eponymous grill.
Curious, Jason decided to make his way into the bar. After the night he'd had, he could sure use a drink. Besides, it be a nice place to stay in out of the rain.
Stepping in, Jason could see Tina Faintaine, whoever she was, didn't run any street-side greasy spoon. It looked nice, clean, and modern, but still kept the atmosphere one becomes accustomed to at a bar. The orange of the outer walls carried to the inner walls of the establishment, giving the while place a warm, friendly feel. The whole place was very open, and Jason could practically see the entirety of the seating area from where he was standing, just inside the door. He could also hear, somewhere, the clink if billiard balls, a pool table. Front and center, in the middle of the whole thing, was the bar. A large, mirrored half circle seemed to act as the bar itself, with a large rack of what seemed lack dozens of different beverage bottles behind it, as well as a full length mirror. Behind the bar was what seemed to be a single woman, who was serving half a dozen people seated at the bar. She had he black hair cut short, with a single piercing on her left ear. He face was animated as she spoke with the customers and almost effortlessly mixed drinks and served beers.
The woman looked up at Jason and gave a bright, inviting smile. "Come on in!" she called to him. "Have a seat, I'll be right with you."
Unsure of what else to do, Jason made his way forward and seated himself at the bar.
The woman was immediately in front of him. "Hey! Newcomer, eh?"
Jason shrugged. "Uh, sure. I've never been here before."
She nodded knowingly. "Oh, that's fine. I get a lot of newcomers here. A lot of returns, too. This place can be a little jarring to newcomers, but once they get used to it the most often become regulars."
An older man sat down at the bar from Jason and raised a hand. "Hey! Tina! Gimme a Youthenizer!"
The woman, who was apparently Tina, scowled at the man. "Hold yer horses, Frank! We've got a newbie."
The man grunted. "Fine. Just don't take all day. I'm not getting any younger. Not yet, anyway..."
Jason glanced over the labels. He didn't recognize any of them. He concluded that they must be imports, but they all had such odd names. There was the "Youthenizer" the man had spoken of, but right next to it was one called "Older Ale" as well as others: Belly Buster, Muscle Toner, Shrinker-Dink, Grow Juice, Fuzz Muster, Hair-B-Gone, Gender Bender, and on and on and on they went.
Tina leaned on the bar in front of Jason, suddenly blocking his view of the racks of oddly named brews. She smirked wryly. "Alright, newbie, here's the deal. You're new here, so I've got to explain a few things. You see all these here?" She gestured at the bottles lining the racks.
Jason nodded, eager for an explanation. "Yeah..."
"These aren't your ordinary drinks. No, sir. These have the power to transform your body. And I mean that in the literal, change before your very eyes sense. You don't like what you look like? Order a drink and POOF! You're a new man. Or, er, woman. If you want."
At first, Jason thought she was joking. Her jovial expression and spastic hand movements made what she was saying comical. Of course he'd always thought about what it would be like to be a different person. Who hadn't? But still, looking around at the other patrons, none of them seemed to take any heed of what she was saying. It was like something she said everyday and they'd grown used to it.
"Uh, what?" was all Jason could manage.
"There are a few rules though," Tina continued, as if Jason hadn't said anything. "The drinks only last until next sunrise. Sort of a safety thing. Be what you want all night long, but by morning you're yourself again. Next, the changes are based on the quantity you drink. Want a little change? Drink a little. Want a lot of change? Drink a lot. Oh, something else to note, not a whole lot of alcohol in the drinks. Also a safety thing. If you want to get drunk, try one of a the dozen other places in town. Tina's isn't about getting drunk. It's about transformation. Also, any of these drinks can be mixed. Want several different changes? BAM! Several drinks in one. Simple."
Glancing around, Jason felt a nervous knot tie itself in his stomach. This girl, Tina, was crazy. He had other things he could be doing instead of listening to some woman rant on about transformational beer.
Jason stood up from his seat. "Uh, listen, I gotta go. You have a very nice bar here, but uh... it's a bit too much for me."
Tina frowned before tilting her head. "Alright. Go on. Go ahead. I won't stop you. I mean, if you don't even want to try just one drink."
"I think I'm good, thanks."
"Alright. Return to the grey, rainy world. I'll just be in here, serving some of the most spectacular mixed drinks anyone's ever seen. You can go back out there and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' reruns all night, kicking yourself for not trying at least one new thing today."
Jason stopped. Was that why his blind date left? Was he a boring person? He turned back and looked at Tina who smirked at him. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, as if inviting him to return to the bar.
Jason sighed. "Alright. Fine. Just one."
"Sounds great! What'll you have?"