“I’ve been thinking it over, and I believe I know why Stef didn’t change.” Melissa said. "She see it as a way to escape your parents. And like anything that prevent her to dealing with them, she see it as a blessing."
"Are they… Are they truly that hard to deal with?" An haggard Emily wondered out loud.
"OF COURSE THEY ARE!" Cried Stefanie. "You got lucky being the firstborn. YOU, you could be any gender without breaking their delusion of the prefect family, able to do whatever girlish activity you always wanted! But ME!?! They wanted, no, they NEEDED a kid of each gender! They wanted a boy, Emily. A boy, not ME! NEVER me! My very existence broke their perfect little dream!"
And the rant of a now teary eyed Stef's didn't end there. "Why did you think I hide the few skirts and dress I have here? To hear them complain about how tomboyish I am? Yeah, right… Like they weren't forcing me to. They're all ‘You should have been a man, STEFFEN! Like we planed!’ or ‘We wanted a boy, so you MUST act like it!’ BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAN! NEVER DID AND NEVER WILL, JERKS! But they still forbid me from doing or owning anything girly, while loudly claim being disgusted by how tomboyish I am…"
Her tears now freely flowing, forming rivers on her cheeks, she finished saying "The worst part is: They're so hypocrite I'm convinced that, if they discovered my sexual orientation, the only part of me fitting their sic conception of who and what I should be, they would beat me up over it, hopping to ‘cure’ me of my homosexuality…"
After a short pause, when it was clear Stefanie wasn't about to say more, laughter made itself heard. But it wasn't an healthy, joyous laugh. It was the last cry of pain from a shattering mind.
None of the three girls understood what happened, not until Melissa spotted Emily crying, side on the floor, trying to make a tight ball of her body.
"Why…" Muttered a broken Emily. "Why couldn't you be girlish…? Why force ME to be girlish… ?!?" Melissa wanted to comfort her friend, to ask what was wrong. But her fear to make things even worst was so strong, all she could do was stay on the sofa and listen, transfixed.
Stefanie wasn't so hesitant, tenderly hugging her sibling, almost looking like a mother reassuring her child after a nightmare. Something Emily often did to a younger Stef', since their mother never did, not for any of them.
It helped Emily calm down a bit. "They never let me do what I wanted, wear what I wanted, or even play the games I wanted… I rarely wanted "girly" in my life, but that only encouraged them to force more girlish things in my life. I don't know if that's why I'm transgender, or if it only made me understand it earlier than most… All I know is that, after your birth, I stopped trying to be myself, foolishly hoping that playing the perfect little princess would protect you, making them throw less crap at you… How wrong I was… If anything… If anything… They only gave you more crap for it… THEY GAVE YOU EVEN MORE CRAP, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!"
Stef was still hugging her sibling, calmly whispering soothing words. "Shh, shh, It's not your fault. Don't worry, it's not your fault, it never was. Our parents… It's THEM who are at fault here. They are good at keeping appearances, always were… So much they could force their sick fantasy on us, screwing our minds without anyone noticing… It got to the point they made you WILLINGLY screwing your own mind. But now we know better, we know enough to fight back. So please, from now on, drop your act and try to be yourself, at least around me. Okay, big bro?"
"Around us." Corrected Melissa. "I know you will need a long time to rebuild yourself. Both of you, in fact. But know that I'm here for you. As long as I live I will be there for you, no matter what I am."
"Do you truly mean this, Mel'?" Asked Stefanie "Or do you simply feel guilty?"
"No, you really can count on my support." said Melissa. "But I DO feel guilt for not seeing any of this, especially… I think… I think tiny a part of me, somewhere in my subconscious, DID see the man hidden in Em… In your brother."
"What do you mean?" Wondered Stefanie.
"I… Well… I… Until today and my… Fishy situation," Both siblings chuckled at Melissa's choice of words "I was straight."
At first, those words saddened Stefanie. Until she noted how Mel' worded it. "Was?!?"
"Yes, was! No more interruptions now, please." She said glaring at the teenager. "So, like I said: As a human, I was straight. So why was I always this strange little something while around my best friend? Why only her and not another girl?"
"Our strong friendship?" Timidly voiced her transgendered friend.
"No, my friendship with your Emily persona isn't why I unknowingly got a romantic interest in you. But the cracks in it DID let me see bits and pieces of you, even if I didn't understand it before today."
"My… ‘Emily persona’?!? What do you mean?"
"You said it yourself: You're transgender. Emily isn't you, but a mask you were cursed to wear, the part they want you to play in the great show of life. Since this part isn't what YOU want to play, what you should do is rewrite it, turn it into the life you want, the life you SHOULD have! And the first step is to choose a new name, something showing the man you strive to be."
"A new name, eh…"
"Yes, but don't be hasty in your choice, because it's the first step to rebuild yourself. Something extremely important. Think carefully of what kind of man you want to be, and try to think of something that reflect it."