“So what do you want me to turn you into?” Mika asked.
“Anything but a girl.” Luka repeated.
“Yes, yes, but there are lots of things that are not girls. What’s your problem with girls anyway?”
Luka paused for a moment. “Let’s just say, I hated my old life, and I want a clean break. And I’m sorry about all that sex talk earlier, I promise I’ll never do it again. I was just trying to find a way to stay with you.” he hung his head in shame. Suddenly, he brightened. “Wait, I’ve got an idea. You don’t even have to change me at all. Why don’t you adopt me as your son?”
Audrey roared with laughter. “That’s a pretty good deal, Mika. At his age, you get to skip all the stinky nappy changing and the midnight feedings.”
“So will you be my Daddy? PLEASE?” Luka looked up with large pleading eyes at the flabbergasted mage.
POP! Everyone turned and stared at Tobi, who had materialized on the barn floor. Her eyes were wide open but she was unable to move. Mika quickly stepped forward and dispelled the immobilization charm. “How on EARTH did you do that?”
++++++++++++
“WHAT?” the lead acolyte shouted. “You let her escape?”
“But, but … she just disappeared…”
“Fan out and search for her!” the leader ordered. “I’ll deal with that innkeeper myself.” she strode haughtily into the inn as the other acolytes dispersed.
The inn’s tavern was mostly empty except for a few regulars nursing their drinks. The leader strode up to the bar and summoned the barmaid who was cleaning a set of glasses behind the counter. “Where’s the innkeeper?”
“Oh, he’s back in the stables right now. Our stableboy ran away, so he’s had to muck out the stalls by himself. He should be back soon, would you like something to drink while you wait?”
“Well, do you have any sarsaparilla?”
“Sarsa-what?” the barmaid blinked.
“Sar-sa-pa-ril-la.” the leader repeated slowly, as if that made any difference.
“Well.. of course.” the barmaid pulled out a ladder, climbed up and picked out a bottle at the top shelf. She poured out a glass of the brownish fluid and passed it over.
“Thanks!” the leader said as she took a sip. “Hey, this sarsaparilla tastes off. Is it past its due dat…” She dropped the glass as her head spun. Moments later, a naked little stableboy was sitting at the bar, confused about what had just happened.
“Esmeralda’s potions do come in handy sometimes.” the innkeeper thought silently to himself as he emerged from behind the bar. “Hey boy! Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?”
“Yes, Master!” the former acolyte leader grinned foolishly thru crooked teeth. He obediently leapt to his feet, scampered hurriedly over to the stables and got to work.
++++++++++++
“I’m not sure.” Tobi said. “Some acolytes captured me and tried galloping away. I was desperate, so I sort of wished really hard that I could be back in the barn, and then…”
“Erm… sorry to interrupt, but it appears that we’re being surrounded.” Audrey said as they heard footsteps pattering outside.
“Well, isn’t this your chance to shine? After all, you cracked the skulls of a whole band of orcs by yourself, right?”
Audrey looked sheepish. “I think there are a LOT of enemies out there…”
“Whole BAND of orcs? With your BARE hands?” Mika repeated caustically.
“Hey, let’s make a deal.” It was Esmeralda. “Give me my body back, and I’ll kill the acolytes and save you all.”
“And why should we trust you?”
“Urmm.. well, Tobi is actually my granddaughter. She doesn’t know that, but it’s totally true. I really love her right, and yeah, I was just upset you were trying to take her away from me. I’ve always been on your side, I want to steal the stone too, we’re both the innkeeper’s enemies you see…
Everyone was staring at her incredulously. “You know,” Ander shook his head in disbelief. “You’re like really, REALLY bad at this?”
“We don’t need her.” Tobi stated confidently. “I think I’m getting the hang of this body. I’ll deal with the acolytes. Hey Mika, can you levitate us?” she ordered. “No not me! Everyone else but me, yes, that’s right.”
Tobi raised her foot and stomped on the ground. A massive shockwave radiated out from her, and the walls of the barn collapsed outwards, trapping the acolytes underneath.
“How… HOW did you do that? It’s takes years of hard study and practice to master that level of magic!”
“Maybe it’s only first-rate wizard apprentices who take years to master their basic spells?” Audrey sneered. “Now you look ridiculous with your mouth open like that. Can you put us down NOW? I think it’ll be a good idea to run…”