"Oh honey its fabulous" exclaimed Jeff, gazing upon the mid-sized suburban home and he his newly wed husband were moving into. 3 Bedroom, 2 bath. A guest room for when friends came by and a children's room for when they adopted, hopefully soon. Jeff and Adam shared a tender embrace before they began unloading the moving truck. Both were 23 and fresh out of college, together they just scrapped together enough to rent the house but what's money compared to love? In 9th grade the two came out, together and began dating shortly after. When they graduated Adam proposed to Jeff at the old lake where they used to go on dates. It was midway between their childhood homes and the perfect meeting grounds when they used to have discrete conversations before formally coming out. Despite or perhaps because they were opposites, they made the perfect couple and never fought. Most everyone accepted them too, to a degree. Their lives had not been without obstacle but both of their parents grew to accept and even embrace their love for each other and while they lost a few friends they kept those that mattered. Dinners were never lonely and a few college and high school friends checked in time to time. Jeff was the flamboyant one, every inch the small but excitable blond twink. He was lithe and short but somehow filled a room with his energy and optimism in a way people couldn't help but enjoy. Adam was the opposite, with dark brown hair, bulging muscles and an intimidating, tall and broad shouldered frame. But he was quiet, and sensitive, the silent strength behind Jeff who called him his gentle giant, much to Adam's chagrin. In middle school Adam had played football and was quite skilled, he was a sports enthusiast and now worked at a small vitamin store while Jeff, who couldn't be bothered by sports, owned a brimming catering business. Though he never mentioned it to Jeff, coming out had hit Adam much harder than his husband as had their relationship. He was no longer Adam, promising football prospect. He was Adam, gay man, or Adam, Jeff's boyfriend. It was a perpetual title he couldn't escape. Everyone expected him to be like Jeff, flamboyant and effeminate and he even grudgingly gave up sports due to his acquired image and the fear of awkwardness with his teammates. Jeff was sweet and loving and everything Adam could ask for in a partner and more but their early devotion seemed to deprive him of something. He missed football, he missed being just Adam instead of gay Adam and he missed out on the single life. Having resigned his bachelor card early Adam never had the chance to know anyone but Jeff, he had a few mishaps with girls in middle school which clued him in but he had never dated another man and here he was with his life ahead of him with the only man he'd ever known. Just like that it was as if life was over and he was doomed to the quiet domestic life, trapped under the banner of 'that gay couple down the street.' Even in an accepting community, homophobia knew more than one form it seemed.
As he was carrying in the last of the chairs a group of teen skaters went by the house shouting nonsensically to each other. One stopped briefly in their drive way, just long enough to yell out 'fags!' before catching up to his friends and hurriedly dashing off, laughing. Adam shook his head, a strangeness nestling in the back of his brain, something he couldn't quite shake off. He didn't mind the teens though, he knew if Jeff had heard he would have flew through the doorway, propelled on his flapping wrists and delivered a sermon to all with ears about the proud gay community and modern day accepting etc etc. Adam just wished everyone would grow up about it. Some people were gay, some were straight, he found the loudest people on both sides of the issue to be just annoying trouble starters. Jeff could be like that, a lot like that, but Adam tolerated it. He knew his husband just wanted the best for the both of them and he could respect his passion. It did kind of annoy him sometimes, maybe he could just shut up and chill a bit. He shook his head, feeling strangely aggressive and irritated towards his husband all of a sudden but he passed it off as new wed stress and continued hauling in the furniture before thanking the moving truck owner and seeing them off.
"Babe what took so long, are you feeling ok?"
"Yes hon, I'm fine, was just saying hello to the neighbors." Adam internally rolled his eyes at his hubby mother henning him, he hadn't intended to sound so gruff but he thought it was time Jeff stopped babying him, he was a guy after all.
"Oh, I forgot what a grump cat long car rides make you. I know! Dinner always fixes everything!" Jeff smiled and Adam allowed himself to smile a bit too, nothing excited Jeff more than cooking and he was good at it. Adam retreated to his new room while Jeff worked his kitchen magic and began setting his things up. He turned on the TV and flipped through some channels, stopping at a commercial for a local tattoo shop. Adam was never big on ink and Jeff would burn him at the stake if he got any but he found himself slightly curious and wrote down the address. It wouldn't hurt just to check it out and look at some samples, he reasoned to himself. Jeff wouldn't have to know. Or maybe he should, just because they were married didn't give Jeff the right to control him day and night. He was his own man too. Sighing, Adam noticed there was that combativeness again, an anger and displeasure at his current circumstance that just seemed to brimming inside him today. Ever since he saw that kid, was like it had stirred something inside of him, some secret desire to be more than just... this. To not be under people's expectations and rules for him. He tried to extinguish the sudden rebellion inside him but it only pushed back. He lay back on his new bed, hoping a short nap might quiet his thoughts.
During his short slumber, Adam had a strange dream. He saw flashes of light and heard booming sounds that pulsed in the pit of his stomach and strained his ear drums. He couldn't tell where he was and thoughts were a tangled jungle of confusion and panic. There were bodies all around him, as far as he could see but none of them seemed to notice him, they were all deadened and unaware but moving. He felt alone and disoriented and slightly sick. A woman, with glowing skin and a tight tight outfit slid over to him, her hips swaying rhythmically and her breasts pulsing to the beat of...
"All angels, report to the dinner table... heaven is served!" Cooed a familiar voice from the kitchen. Sure is full of himself today, Adam thought as he tried to shake off the fog of a short half sleep. He couldn't get over that strange dream though, something familiar about that woman and why did he seem to have feelings for her? He never felt attracted to a woman in his life. The afterimages perturbed him in ways he couldn't even place but he knew he had to dispel them, quickly. He put on his best doting husband face and joined Jeff at the table. "Something wrong over there honey bon, its not the bread sticks is it? I cooked them just the way you love." Adam gave his best disarming smile.
"No, everything is wonderful dear, I just feel a little under the weather today." Jeff frowned but pushed it off. He knew his husband wasn't the warm and sharing sort on a good day, he let it slide most of the time and he was too distracted by the move and all the work he had to do to get the house ready to entertain. There was just so much to do, setting up their old furniture, buying new stuff to fill the extra space, making sure it all matched of course and then the painting... god the painting. Adam, could care less, Jeff knew but he needed everything to look perfect for when friends and family visited. Even if he had to redo the whole house by himself. Jeff sighed, inwardly and looked over to Adam. He loved the sweet dear but today he just seemed different. Usually Adam devoured his famous lasagna and bread sticks made from scratch but he was just moving it around and looking all depressing. This was so less than the perfect first dinner he imagined.
When they finally finished their silent and awkward dinner both young men retired to their bedroom, Adam turned on the sports channel and turned the volume down while Jeff lay next to him reading a cooking magazine. It was their nightly compromise. Around 10pm, Jeff lay down his magazine on the nightstand and turned to his hot husband and planted a slow kiss on him, slightly startling Adam who felt oddly bothered by the kiss on some level.
"Why don't we finally break this house in properly babe?" He purred seductively. Normally when Jeff was in this mood Adam found him irresistibly hot but tonight it just wasn't working. The move must have really screwed him up, he thought. Jeff didn't notice, however, and he wasted no time and ravaging his and Adam's clothing, pulling off their shirts and jeans like a boy ripping the wrapping off Christmas presents. He flipped himself over, presenting himself to Adam as if a sacrifice and Adam humbly obliged but mostly to keep Jeff happy. He tried, he tried everything but the more Adam forced himself on Jeff the more his thoughts wandered and his desires betrayed him. His mind flashed with images from his dreams, the breathing noise humming inside of him, the lights like lightning forking all around him and the beautiful girl walking towards him. He imagined her underneath him instead, her breasts jiggling as the two of them moved as one. He moaned as he finally came like he never had before. "Woah there stud, someone had their Ovaltine this morning! That more than... Adam?" Jeff stared concerned at him, he looked distant and confused and he was sweating and hot, more so than he should've been. Adam just continued to gaze into space, his eyes wide and lost. Shaking himself lose from Jeff he hurried into the bathroom. He splashed water onto his warm face feeling some color return as the water cooled his burning flesh. His eyes looked absent and even slightly reddish in the reflection. He also noticed a few dark hairs in the middle of his chest. That's strange, he thought, he had just waxed this morning. Adam was a pretty hirsute man by nature which was the one thing about him Jeff found to be a turn off so he had started waxing almost as soon as the hair started growing there. And yet, there was a distinctive treasure trail leading down to his still hard cock and more in between his sizeable pecs. Maybe even more than when he first walked in. No, he must be sick or losing it but there was a lot of hair there, and it never grew that quickly or even... quite that dark. His face had a touch of stubble as well. Feeling himself fill with misplaced anger and frustration Adam grabbed his bag and went to work, angrily rewaxing his chest and shaving his face until he was perfectly smooth yet again. Jeff knocked on the door quietly. "Honey... are you alright in there?" Adam groaned audibly, that damn control freak can't leave me alone for a second can he. He despised being chained down in the prime of his life, a time he should be exploring and finding himself not being surgically attached to this whiney sissy. Adam had no idea where these thoughts were coming from but he couldn't stop them nor did he want to anymore. Ignoring his concerned husband, he grabbed some clothes and stormed outside only stopping briefly to mutter that he needed some air. He didn't even bother grabbing his phone before he slammed the door and went out into the warm spring air.
Wandering the streets aimlessly, Adam wondered what was going on today. This morning he had been a happy, supporting husband eager to start a life together, a life he now just wanted to get away from. All of his regrets and desires had been magnified in a moment and he suddenly saw all that was wrong and broken in his relationship and all it was causing him to miss out on. After a decent sized walk into nowhere he grasped his pecs, feeling his lungs beginning to burn. But he was never tired this fast, his frequent work outs kept him in top shape yet here he was, winded like a beginner. He pulled up his shirt to let his skin breath and saw to his astonishment that not only where the dark hairs back, but they seemed denser then before. A thicker, coarser trail now wound its way further up his stomach and a forest of hairs shadowed both pecs and the area between. Pecs which strangely seemed, smaller, more tone than raw meat. Even his bicep muscles which Jeff had always admired looked deflated, not entirely gone but nothing like they once were. What the hell was happening to him? He looked to his legs to see they too were now hairier after being smooth this morning and the muscles had retreated into well-kept tone, a departure from their jockish origins. He clenched his hand, noticing the fingers lengthening and becoming leaner. He blinked his eyes but the change continued, his other hand was also larger and thinner with lithe, thin fingers that stretched out. Though his height remained the same much of his build had compacted and shrank to give him an almost skeletal appearance, tall and lanky with awkward hands and feet. His bewilderment was interrupted by a vibration in his pocket. He reached a shaky hand in and pulled out a Galaxy phone but he had left his phone at home and he was sure it was an iPhone... No, he thought, why would I have an iPhone. I'd never join the Apple cattle with their watered down mass produced mainstream shit... My Galaxy does everything and more. He shook his head before unlocking the phone with a password he suddenly knew. Of course it was the name of a local up and coming DJ he loved, he just hoped he didn't get too big, fucking bandwagoners would jump at the chance to ruin another great artist they'll claim they liked all along.
"Downtown. Club Aurora" was all the message said. The name was familiar and yet strange to Adam. He figured it couldn't hurt to investigate, perhaps the person who sent this knew what was happening to him or perhaps this Club Aurora had something to do with it. He ran a big hand through his dark beard thoughtfully, yeah, Club Aurora is where he needed to be right now. Though he'd supposedly never been to that part of town, Adam's feet somehow knew the right direction and he began walking purposefully in the direction of Club Aurora. But Adam continued to be haunted by his changing thoughts towards Jeff. It was as if some force was robbing him of their memories and his feelings continued to drift further towards and disgust and annoyance towards the man. He struggled against it but an air or regret was winning out and he questioned it all: his marriage, his life, even his sexuality. Further and further his mind drove itself, feeding its own frenzy. Amongst his tortured and panicked thoughts, Adam sought to calm himself. A twitch grew in his hands and he felt a sharp craving... a quick dig through his pocket brought out something he was sure wasn't there before but was not unwelcome. It was a joint, expertly rolled with nimble fingers and stuffed with fresh green. His mouth watered at the sight of it and his dark eyes further dilated and reddened in anticipation despite fading memories that objected, that told him he'd never smoked before and never intended to. That was some crazy shit, of course he smoked, he just needed a quick hit to bring himself out of this weird funk. Taking the aromatic j to his eager lips he pulled out his lighter and ignited the tip, sucking down a long sweet drag of smoke that tickled his lungs and saturated every cell of his body. The warmth heated every cold corner and brought the calm he so desperately needed right now Yeah, this was what he was missing. He didn't notice his wedding ring dissolve into the shrouding vapors that swirled around him. His mind quieted. All those memories of being gay of some quiet life with a controlling boyfriend they seemed like a strange and distant dream disintegrating into the dusk, a vision of what was not that he was more than happy to let go of despite some small inch wanting to hold on.
Picking up his brisk pace, Adam clutched his plain white sleep shirt momentarily confused as it began to ripple in an unseen wind but he released it and allowed himself another slow hit, dismissing the feeling. He didn't notice as the cotton threads of his shirt thickened and became rough and heavy. Nor did he see the sleeves unraveling and falling off. The shirt continued to shrink and contort. Dark blue dye spreading across as the material changed into denim. Gradually the front split open to briefly reveal his paler, thinner chest before a jet black undershirt grew from underneath the denim vest to cover his body. A small squiggle drew itself on his left arm, just past his wrist, it wove itself up towards his forearm, spreading out into a serpent that wound its way across his arm becoming emerald green with a crimson protruding tongue licking his bicep. Showing a sleek smile to the night as his stance and gait slowed and shifted gaining a new confidence and ease, a sudden unburdening that showed in every facet of his body language as if his cares had been blown away. He stroked his dark hair with his hands, fussing it up into a nest like mess on top of his head with some stray hairs hanging down over his eyes just the way he liked it. He loved the way the hair framed his deep eyes and completed his intoxicating gaze, his perfect visage a black hole any girl could be sucked right into.
As he walked his shores began to shift, the newer looking Nikes began to fade away. The swoosh logo on the side disappeared into nothing as the tops compressed downward to more closely follow the slimmer contours of his feet. The material loosened and stretched and the colors shifted to a dimming black and what was at once time white. They grew longer and stars drew themselves on the back as they crawled a bit further up his ankles becoming a very old and oversized pair of High Tops. Even with his larger feet the shoes were a size or two too big just for that extra gangly, awkward look that he had perfected into a sort of charm. He came to a corner of town he recognized well, the Starbucks where he worked. He sniffed the air, from here he could smell the heavy coffee fumes he had grown to recognize over the years. As the scents filled his nostrils memories blossomed in his mind of working there since he was 16, finally becoming a manager and making the big dough he needed to get an apartment. Losing his virginity to some tight assed girl in the alley behind the shop, she showed him some true customer satisfaction that day. He licked his lips just remembering those times as the fragrant fumes seemed to coalesce around his septum forming into a piercing. He gaze shifted over to a vitamin shop across the street. He could vaguely recall being in there once, but he couldn't remember why, what business would he have in a place for only muscle heads?
For some reason he decided to go in, just to see. He walked in, conscious that everyone was looking at him and noticed how out of place he was. But fuck them, dumb meatheads just focusing on their muscles when they should be expanding their minds. He strode the isles, not disguising his bemusement with the products. A store clerk eventually caught up to him and paused when he saw his face. Adam, too, felt something strange at the sight of the unfamiliar young man in front of him.
"Excuse me, do I know you?" The clerk asked. "I'm sorry but have you shopped here before? You look vaguely familiar... almost like someone who worked here a long time ago." Adam laughed and shook his head.
"Hells no duder, I wouldn't be caught dead working here. No offense though... yo where's your bathroom at?" The disgruntled clerk rolled his eyes and pointed towards the back. Adam thanked him and locked himself in a stall. Something was wrong, deep down he knew that he just couldn't tell what. This place was getting to him somehow. In the back of his mind a voice screamed for him to wake up, but wake up from what? Was this a dream or was that a dream? He was vaguely aware of a constricting sensation around his legs. His jeans were turning darker and tighter as they became skinny jeans more adapted to his disproportionate dimensions. They shrank to hug every curve of his skin, especially tight around his ass and dick, both of them making quite the impression through the material. Girls liked a dude with a tight rear. He knew guys did too, he wasn't too into that stuff but he'd mess with anything on the right night and he sure didn't mind the attention. Everyone was free to look at him. His body was a work of art, a masterpiece he spent his whole life perfecting and he wanted the world to see. No, this was wrong. This wasn't who he was, who he is? Who is he?
"Who the fuck am I?" He screamed to the mirror in an unfamiliar voice. It was deep but tainted with a dark confidence and years of pot and drug abuse that added a sickly sweet tint to his tone. The slick looking hipster seemed to be taunting him with his cocky grin, his cocky grin. His reflection offered no answers, only more confusion as the conflicting voices raged in his head. With a trembling hand he pulled out his j again and desperately took another drag. The smoke brought silence and assurance once again, suppressing more the old diminishing memories and traits. Crushing them under his swelling image and ego. He jammed a hand under his waist band, feeling his dick swell and gain girth as his pubes became courser and darker to match his trail. Regaining his composure, he left the stupid vitamin shop. The place unnerved him for some reason and he was glad to get the fuck out. The Club was only a short walk from here, he knew once he got there everything would be right. It would all fit together. He didn't know how he knew this, he simply did.
From a block away he could feel the bass. It was a familiar comfort, the soothing pulses coursing through his veins and easing his troubled mind. It had been a long night but it all added up to this. No one stopped or questioned him as he walked in but everyone seemed to know him, or wanted to know him. It was so strange, he barely knew himself, yet all these people seemed to. Girls winked and squeezed his ass, dudes high fived him. The sheer volume of faces should've overwhelmed him but he only felt at home. The flashing lights entranced him and slowed his racing thoughts to a suitable standstill. A few drinks also helped extinguish these nagging voices far back in the dark corners of his synapses. He felt someone slip a small pill into his open hand and quickly downed it with a shot. The electronic dance music infected his body and he caught himself slipping into a natural dance, moving through the club like he owned the place. He phased in and out of time and space under the strobe lights letting the music and drugs take him to new dimensions where he could leave behind all his troubles. Yet still with these bizarre images of some fucking twink and gay jock holding hands at a lake. Did he know them? They looked familiar? The image shattered as a girl with glow painted skin approached him, sliding through the crowd like a mist between leaves. Her voluptuous breasts bounced to the bass. She tore down every hazy memory that remained as her body sang a song far sweeter than the one playing. Her arms wrapped around his body like choking vines, squeezing out the old him, the boring lifeless him. He squeezed back, giving her a deep, penetrating kiss that sucked the air from her lungs.
"I'm glad you came..." she whispered in his ear sending an electric shock through his system "find me after the show." He was momentarily confused by her last words before the current DJ stopped playing and the crowd looked to the stage.
"Ight people I'm out! But before I peace, I'd like to introduce our next talent... my good friend Adam aka DJ Shockmasta!" The crowd roared and Adam wore his best smirk as he sauntered up to the stage, to take his rightful place on his throne. This was his life. Electricity unending, like the Energizer Bunny he was the party that never stopped. A new girl every night, a new hangover every day. He would never know peace, never settle down or settle for less. This was his life and he was living it to its fullest!