"So", the Madame said, "as obviously, you want to become taller, I think I may have just the right option for you."
Josh was sweating heavily now. His trousers suddently broke, and much to his astonishment, he saw his legs fuse together and the beginning of what looked like a whale tail fin emerge from what had once been his feet. At the same moment, his skin started to get thick and brown, almost resembling a tree's bark.
"I can see your surprise", the Madame continued, "but what could be more manly than a Steller's Sea Cow? The last of his kind, without any female company to be assessed against?"
Josh wanted to say something, but his transformation was progressing too rapidly by now. He continued gaining weight, his arms becoming useless stumps, his new brown skin covering his entire body. Suddently, his head just seemed to explode and was replaced with nobody had seen for the past 200something years. Not that we missed the sight for its aesthetical qualities.
In front of the audience now was a giant, if somewhat confused male Steller's Sea Cow, through whose throat the last remains of his humanity escaped in the words:
"Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here"
After which the animal vanished in one of these strange but hyper-modern beaming scenes you, dear reader, have doubtlessly already encountered on your daily television routine.
"I'm truly sorry", Madame adressed the audience, "but he wouldn't have stayed alive for long on that stage. Instead, he should be happily swimming through the Berring Sea by now."