Travis fought his way through the crowd, scanning the faces for Jared’s. He hadn’t meant to be late, but his parents had held him up at their barbecue and he’d just barely managed to slip away. He tucked one dreadlock behind his ear, regretting their decision to meet outside. It as the middle of summer, what were they thinking? Travis wore a pair of lime green board shorts and a pink tank top, but he was still sweating bullets. His tan, freckled skin glistened, reflecting the sun’s beams. His muscles jumped beneath his flesh as he walked.
He paused outside Jared’s apartment building. He knew it would be foolhardy to ring the doorbell, but he hadn’t seen hide nor tail of his boyfriend anywhere. He decided to call him. He pulled out his phone and dialed the number. He held it to his ear and waited. To his surprise, a phone in the nearby crowd started ringing, but it wasn’t the ringtone he recognized.
Instead of Jared’s usual “Shut Up and Dance,” it was some bro country song that Travis had never heard of. Probably Florida Georgia Line or something like that. He looked around curiously. A tall blonde that Jared didn’t recognize picked up his phone, which was held in a case emblazoned with the American flag
“’Lo?” said the man.
“…Jared?” said Travis nervously.
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“Um…. Travis. Your… boyfriend?”
“Fuck off, bro. Not today. I mean, ha ha, funny prank, but really? The Fourth of July? Don’t bring up the people who are trying to destroy this country from the inside out on the day where we’re celebrating it. Don’t call this number again, faggot.”
Travis hung up, confused. From his vantage point on the sidewalk, he inspected the man. Why would he answer Jared’s phone? Was this some kind of prank? And why would he change the case? Upon closer investigation, he realized that the guy did have some similarities to his boyfriend, but only just. There was something in the way he narrowed his eyebrows underneath his face paint as he watched the parade. Other than that, everything had changed. Though, he had to admit, the blonde was pretty cute. He felt a stirring in his loins, then immediately felt guilty.
No, this dude was a dick. And he might have done something to Jared. He couldn’t go around wanting to… Wanting to what, exactly? He looked over at the blonde. He felt a sudden tidal wave of shame and his boner shrank in his jeans. No way, man. He wasn’t gay. He hadn’t been dating anyone in a while, but he’d just gotten home from his mission. There hadn’t been time to find a girlfriend. But now that he was back, he was feeling the pressure to get married. He wanted to settle down, and he had attended several singles meetings at his church, but he just hadn’t met the right girl yet.
Travis’ dreadlocks began to unfurl, hanging around his face in a mangy heap. One by one, tangled locks of hair fell to the ground around him, disintegrating into dust as they hit the concrete. His board shorts began to drip down his legs, becoming thicker and woven as they converted into crisp, black jeans. His sandals spread over his feet, forming a canvas shell that hardened into polished black leather. The glistening tan skin visible through the collar of his tank top paled to a milky white, as if he had never felt the touch of the sun’s rays.
His newly pale skin disappeared as the tank top rose, covering his flesh with crisp white cotton, splitting in the middle to form two rows of buttons, which then fastened themselves over his torso. As each button clasped tightly around his thick chest, the shirt grew tighter and tighter, constricting his breathing. With each button, his torso grew slimmer and slimmer until he grew closer to a beanpole than a human man.
His last dreadlock slithered around his neck, turning into a thin black tie. The fabric knotted itself perfectly under his collar, fastening around his neck, which grew thinner as it tightened. His newly shorn hair slicked itself back on top of his head. The tan leached from his face as his jaw grew square and broad. His freckles faded away, joining the creamy white of his nose and cheeks. His eyes grew further apart and his vision suddenly blurred. He pulled a pair of glasses out of his pocket and put them on, relieved at seeing the world clearly once more.
All at once, the changes stopped. Travis pulled a small leather book from his pants pocket and stepped into the crowd. He tapped the shoulder of the blonde man. Jared turned around.
“What?” he grunted.
“Excuse me sir, but have you had a chance to read the Book of Mormon?”