"Hey, Jeff!" said Nick barging back into Jeff's room, "You know that shiny dress shirt you've got that's too big for you? I was wondering if- Where d'ya go, Jeff?" Nick asked scratching his head, and then scratching his armpit -for some reason his one armpit was really itchy today. He was sure Jeff hadn't gone passed him, so he had to be in his room, but he wasn't? Then Nick sat down at Jeff's computer.
"What the fuck? Jeff, you changed yourself into my armpit?" he said lifting his arm and staring at his itchy pit. Jeff could only stare back silently. Nick shook his head in disbelief and lowered his arm. He started typing.
Yes! thought Jeff, Nick's going to change me back.
"There," said Nick, as he raised his arm again, the Chronivac pinged.
"Wait! I'm still an armpit!" shouted Jeff. He paused and then exclaimed, "I can talk! I can talk! Gawd, I'm a talking armpit."
"Yeah, well, that's not why I animated your mouth, bropit. Oh, and don't even try lying to me. That Chronivac has a truth modulator, and from now on you can only tell me the truth. Got it?"
"Yes, Nick," sighed Jeff, "Now will you please change me back into a human."
"Hey, I didn't change you into my armpit. You did. I just gave you a voice so you can tell me why? Have you got some weird armpit fetish?"
"No! It was an accident, I spilled Pepsi on the keyboard and the next thing I knew I was your armpit inste-"
"instead of what?"
"Your penis."
"You were going to change yourself into my penis? Are you gay?"
"No. Just I don't have any sex life and you needed at least 6 condoms, so I figured I'd live vicariously."
"That's not what vicarious means."
"Well, I couldn't think of any other word."
"Parasitically, comes to mind. Okay, now to remove your mouth from my armpit."
"And change me back!"
"Nope, not tonight lover boy. I'd never be sure you weren't my dick, and I prefer to have original equipment. Okay, if I borrow your shirt?"
"Sure. Just don't give it back with sweat stains under the sleeves."
"Dude, if there are sweat stains it will be your own fault, pitbro."
He lowered his arm muffling Jeff's complaints, and started typing. The mumbling from his armpit stopped. Nick looked at the computer and then at his covered armpit. Jeff sounded so unhappy. He smiled and started typing.
Suddenly, Jeff felt better about his situation. He discovered that the funky pit hair smell was starting to make him horny.
Nick suddenly felt the urge to scratch his pit again. He smirked, and muttered, "Oh, Jeff!"