Craig tried to contact me repeatedly for weeks. He called, he texted, he emailed, he even wrote letters. I didn’t return any of them, and I barely read them. The ones I did read were primarily the same. He apologized for being so presumptuous, but he insisted he knew I was gay and that I had to come to terms with it, for my own sake. I still couldn’t admit it to myself, however. I broke off all contact with him. I stopped going to his gym and instead went to a different one across town. I avoided any place where I thought I might see him. I became incredibly depressed.
Once again my professional life became intolerable. I tried my best for a year to do my brother proud, but one day I finally went to him and said that the job just wasn’t for me. My brother didn’t want to believe me. He forced me to quit in my father’s presence. He correctly thought I was scared of my father and wouldn’t be courageous enough to disappoint him. But I gathered up enough courage and I told my father I didn’t feel capable of performing adequately in the job I now held and that I thought it was time to find my own path.
My father then said something that utterly shocked me. He asked me if I was gay. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I was. Because of this I knew it would be foolish to lie to him. So I told him that I was. To my continued surprise my father said he was glad I’d finally admitted it. Not that I admitted it to him, but to myself. He told me that he and his mother knew I was gay for some time. They had been waiting for me to just come out and say it. I just never did. My father told me that I was right and I did need to find my own path. He said he knew I’d never been happy for a long time, and that hurt him as much as my mother’s death. He said it hurt him because there was nothing he could do about it and that made him feel powerless, something he hated.
He asked me about Craig. I told him that I had feelings for Craig, but I couldn’t handle them. He told me that he knew I’d been depressed since I stopped spending time with him. He encouraged me to contact him and start being happy again. He did accept the fact that I wanted to quit, and told my brother he’d have to deal with it. My brother was also accepting with the fact that I am gay. He begged me to stay on the job, but I didn’t.
I still couldn’t bring myself to contact Craig. I realized that it would take something significant beyond my control to make me contact him again. About a month later, such a thing happened. My father died. He had cancer and he kept it from everyone. It was the main reason he resigned when he did. I was devastated. I’d spent my whole life assuming he’d reject me if I was gay, and it turned out the complete opposite was true. I was determined now to make amends with Craig.
As luck would have it, Craig came to the funeral. I saw him, but wasn’t able to speak to him before he left. Once I could free myself from family and other mourners I headed directly to his house. He answered the door and I immediately broke down in his arms. He took me inside. Before I knew it, we were in his bedroom making love. When I told him that he’d taken my virginity, he just smiled and said that I’d taken his.
The next day I agreed to move in with him. It was an easy decision. We’d spent months getting to now each other as he worked with me to improve my physical appearance. Now he was going to help me fix my mental and emotional issues. That wasn’t to say he dominated me. While he’d introduced me to concepts like exercise, nutrition and self-confidence, I shared many things with him. I shared with him my love of movies and music as well as different fashion styles.
Everything changed for both of us once I moved in. I took a job at his gym as, of all things, an instructor. I was in much better physical shape after all this time. While I certainly didn’t have Craig’s physique, I had a pretty good one of my own. I had good muscle tone, great stamina and energy, and I even had a bit of a six-pack by now. I loved being in the gym helping others. I treated people just the way Craig had treated me.
Craig decided it was time to come out. This led to a brief whirlwind of publicity since he’d been a prominent athlete. He lost some fans and received some threats, but the vast majority of feedback was positive. Fortunately there was no negative impact on his company. Neither of us would have to worry about losing our livelihood. Once the publicity died down, Craig proposed to me. I immediately accepted.
That was two months ago.