"Penguin. Penguin's are practically chickens," he says with a snorting laugh. "See the only female at the zoo kicked it, and I got a hold of her carcass and cooked her up special. See they need a replacement. What with global warming and all, don't want this rare strain of penguins going extinct."
"Wh-?" you squawk as your teeth fall out.
"See penguins are birds and humans are mammals."
"I know that!" you whine as you feel your fingers fusing into flippers, and your knees push their way up inside your lengthening torso.
"Ah, but did you know that birds and mammals have got their sex chromosomes reversed. The xy in human is male, but in birds the equivalent is female. So I needed someone with heterozygous chromosomes to be the donor. And you look young and fit - you'll make a fine female penquin!"
"Awk! But - ah- doon wawk to be!"
"Well, then you shouldn't have eaten that free sandwich. Everyone knows there's no such thing as a free lunch!"
He goes around back of the nearby van and takes out a large animal crate.
"Now get inside!"
"Awk!"