You are not logged in. Log in
 

Search

in Chronivac Version 4.0 by anyone tagged as none

Chronivac Version 4.0

Menopause Manners

added by withered pretties 19 years ago AP BM

Alan and the others, after a long bus trip( longer for some) finally arrived at the Zarich Zoo, a popular college night spot.
As it happened, during the trip there Kathy had grabbed the remote, insisting that Allan had to be older if he wanted to tag along with them. Before he had been able to respomd, she had fired on him, as well as Faye and David,turning the three of them 100 years old.
Not to be outdone, David had grabbed for the device, but had dropped it as it went off. Kathy got zapped, as well as everyone else on the bus.
Consequently, a busload of white old men and women got off at outside the club, and proceeded to make their ways to various destinations.
"Dagnabit ya ol broad, dat dare has ta be da longest bus trip I ever took," Allan commented, as they shuffled on up to the doors of the club, with David and Faye in wheelchairs, Allan using a walker, and Kathy leaning on a wooden cane.
"Eh, whadya say there dearie? Mustn't been payin attetion, nope, guess not."Kathy muttered.
"Oh nothin, nothin. Cmon, lets get the lot of us inside an take a load off."
"Someone say somethin bout takin a load off? I could really use a bathroom afore I mess these here Depends," David replied.
"Yeah well, it won't be the last time ya do it. Heym maybe we otta... gets a room in the local Nursing home... for after we leaves here," Faye said,"I think...think,emm... we could us a bit a skilled care, tain't so easy fer me ta git up an about anymore."
"Dearie, I'll give em a holler on dee ol cell phone when we's a git....where we goin agin Allan hon?
"Hmmmmm, oh, we're headed on in to see some old friends, and to celebrate turnin a hundred. Now git a bit a spunk up an step lively, that guy is a holdin the door fer us."
"Come on you old farts, I ain't got all day," said the muscle bound bouncer at the door.
"Hey, your not IDing them," said a young blonde coed in a purple, low-cut, sweater top and a purple mini skirt.
"Listen little girl, I think it's been some time since their crowd turned 21."
Grabbing the device, Faye turned it on the bouncer and said," I think that you could learn some manners young man. Mebbe, jes mebbe, let me see," she said as she fiddled with it and finally fired.
"Whacha gone an done now sweetie," David said, as he looked at the rapidly dwindling bouncer who had frozen in his tracks, and appeared to be no more than a freshman in high school.
"Please lady, I, I, I didn't mean it. I was just kidding!"
"Next time, youngster, you'll learn to think before ya let yer mouth get the better of you."
"Woah, check that out! How'd you do it?"asked the coed.
" Patience, patience girlie girl, jes holds yer horses."
" Just how young did ya make him there Faye?" Kathy asked.
"Oh, he's got a few years yet," she replied, as they watched the now 7 year old fighting with his clothes,and looking at them crying,"pwease, I don wanna gets smaller!"
The years continued to pass from him,as he raced past 6, to 5, 4,3,with the toddler bawling and saying,"no,pwease no makin mes an ickle baby!"
Finally, the changes ended leaving an eighteen month old boy sitting in a pile of clothes and wetting himself. Making a few adjustments, Faye soon had a diapered baby in a Winnie the Pooh shirt.
"There now, don no one never say this here old gal ain't got a trick er two up her sleeve. Now, ya wanted ta see how this here thingy worked, let me gives ya an example girlie."
" The name's Karen, and I...."
Before she could say anything else, A beam of light had encompassed her and added about 20 years to her.
"What did you do to me...omigod, my voice, and this is outfit is too tight,and..."
"And yer bouts 40, give or take a year," said Allan, as he examined the device.
"Whipping out a small mirror from her purse, the girl examined herself and screamed,"Ewwww, I look like somebody's mom. And I don't know why, but I feel this overwhelming urge to pick up and nurture this baby, so much so I can't seem to help myself."
She picked up the baby, and the next thing she knew it got younger, and smaller, until all at once it disappeared and her stomach swelled up.
"I member my young uns," Kathy sighed raggedly."By the way dear, how far along are ya?"
"Oh about 8 months, and I had this overwhelming urge for one of the burgers at this little place not far from here. I just cruise through this parking lot now and again to remind me of my college days."
" Jes raise that bundle a joy up to respect his elders now,"
Faye replied as Allan took the remote from her.
" Oh, yes ma'am,"the woman responded as she headed off into the night.
"Yee've had nuff fun with this fer a little while, s'Kath's turn now," Allan told her, as he handed it to the dottering Kathy, who had seated herself on a nearby bench and had begun to snore.
"Huh, wha, I jes...oh Allan dearie, don go scarin an old lady like that. Nearly give me a stroke."
"Jes wantin to give you this," he said handing the apparatus to her, and helping her up.
They went out a short distance from the door, made some entries to the device, and fired it at the place.
"Now," she cackled,"all a the guys who comes in here... be aging till they're nearly 50, and the women... be whatever age they'd be at menopause. Now on,... any woman who comes in here ...be instantly thrust into the midst of menopause, unless they've... already done it. He, he, he," she cackled and Faye, unable to help herself, joined in.
As soon as they managed to get ahold of themselves, they got a young woman to hold the door open for them, and made their way into the place.
Quickly finding a table, a waitress came to their table,who looked to be in her early thirties.
"Can I get you folks something?" she asked.
"Yes dearie, kin ya get those two a couple glasses a beer, an we gals'll have a couple wine coolers,"Kathy said,"if it's okay if this here jezabel orders the drinks?"
"Oh, I guess yer okay. Jes that we're a bit pertective a Allan there. Aren't we David...David.. you checkin out the waitress' chests again?"
"No..no...,well, maybe..."
"It's alright ma'am. By the way, do I look different to you?
"Well dear, we've only been here a few minutes ourselves, so I couldn't rightly say.Why do you ask?
"Maybe it's just being on shift so long, but I could swear that..."
"Yes dearie, go on,"Kathy urged.
"Well, I'd swear people are getting older. I mean, when I came in here I was twenty four, and my reflection in the mirror behind the bar seems to say otherwise now."
"Honey, tell ya what. You jes gets our order, and we'll tell ya if'n we sees any changes whens ya git back. Oh, and make sure that table over there in the corner by the DJ's booth gets a round of whatever they're drinkin...Sally," Allan said, as the waitress wandered off.
Looking around the place, they noticed more and more changes in people, as fine lines formed on faces, grey hairs appeared, hair lines receeded, belly's started hanging over belts, women's butts visibly expanded, and a variety of people suddenly were wearing glasses.
One couple making out while waiting for the restrooms, came up for air looking confused as they stared at each other.
"I could have sworn you were younger. I mean, those crows feet are cute, but that tube top looks strange on a middle aged woman."
"Middle aged, look who's talking baldie."
Indeed, comments like that or worse were flaring up all around the place.
A short time later, a few of their friends came over to their table and thanked them for the drinks.
A guy and two women came on up, looking a bit out of sorts but feeling obliged to thank them.
"I'm very grateful for the hopsitality," said the overly sweet perfumed woman, with long salt and pepper curls."As yoush can see, we been joyin arselves fer while now. My name's Holly, and this is Josh and Sammi.By the way, feel hot ta anyone?
"Nah,its not too bad," said the man with grey on the sides of his short brown hair, and a small beer gut."
"Oh dear, when our we gonna find men who will stick around," said the red head with a tuft of white in the bangs of her shoulder length hair, and breasts had begun to sag."I dont mean to be so emotional, but it's...it's..."
" Hormones, sweetie, hormones.If I didn't know no better, I'd say ya were goin through the change,"said the grinning Kathy.
"Change?"
" Menopause," replied Faye,"you have heard that Zarich is the Persian goddess of aging, and that she nicknamed this place Menopause Manor?"
"I'm too young to be going through menopause though!!!"
"Take a look at yer ID's"David said.
Getting out their licenses, they gasped and moaned together.
"Mine says I'm 49," said Josh.
"Well,"said Holly as she put on some teal reading glasses that hung from her neck by a beaded chain," thish says I'm 52."
"And mine says that at, 56 I'm the oldest of all. I know I meant to put off having kids to pursue a career, but it seems I never got around to marriage or a career.Now who is gonna want some fat older woman?" she wailed, as she ran out the door.
Josh pursued her, while Holly sat down with the four of them and proceeded to fan herself.
About that time, Sally came back with their drinks, wearing a pair of horn rimmed light blue glasses, and sweating up a storm.
"Well, thank you, girlie," David said, as he and Allan got their beers and took a long sip.
"Been too long since I had one a these," Allan said, as the two old men shared a chuckle between them.
"Now ladies, I know that somethin's up. I didn't come in here wearin these glasses, and I've got a few grey hairs ta boot. So tell me, what is goin on? I go from too hot to too cold, these mood swings are such that it's been all I could do to not chomp some of these guys, and my body is more achey than I'm used to near the end of a shift. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I joined my Aunt Trudy in menopause. But I'm too young for that, aren't I?"
"What's yer driver's license read girlie,"quipped Faye.
Getting it out, she read,"58, how..., why..?"
"It's that durn curse on the place," replied Kathy,"it hasn't occurred fer years. Why,member hearin bout it from my momma,"Faye said, savoring the fruity wine cooler.
"Yep," added Kathy," and if ya wants ta know the truth, we gave it a bit of a nudge," she whispered slyly.
" Well,if ya could give us a nudge out of it, we'd be most grateful," Holly replied, as Sally nodded in agreement.
"We could arrange that, if you'll get...nuther round to,..uh toast...," Faye rattled.
"Toast our hundredth with us," Kathy finished.
"I'd be happy to," said Sally as she got their drinks as quickly as possible.
" By the way," asked Holly," when did that DJ started playing 50's music?"
"People's tastes sometimes change with age, sweetie."Faye answered.
"Well girlie girl,"Dave responded,"I still like ta boogie with you, if I had more hitch in ma giddyup."
"Ya ol charmer," said Faye, as she grabbed and kissed the weathered hand.
Sally then arrived with the drinks, and Kathy got out the device and proceeded to zap the two women.
"Oh thank you," replied Sally, as the fluctuations of menopause eased and then ceased.
"Did ya go and make us older?" said a slightly miffed Holly.
"Couldn't go back t'other way dearie, so we're movin ya forward a few years."replied Kathy.
"Oh my," said Holly,"yer a gettin more an more grey hair lady,"she said as she pointed at Sally," an yer skin is saggin an wrinklin more too,and ya gots some cute jowels."
As she passed out of her sixties and into her seventies, Sally noticed the changes in Holly as well."
"Them boobs a yers is fast loosin the battle to gravity, eh? An there's a second set a bags unner them eyes."
"Eh dear, ya gots lots a room ta talk.That neck a yers is lookin like it could flap in a strong breeze."
The banter continued, and as she looked down Holly noticed her sandalled feet had become calloused and rough, with yellow and hard toenails."
"I got some funny undies on," remarked Sally as she hit 85.
Staring into a compact mirror,Holly commented," My hair is almost all white, and I've got dentures."
The women raced into their nineties, their backs hunched, shawls over their shoulders, pendulous breasts hanging limply on their poochy tummies.
As they hit 100, both women found themselves holding wooden canes in their hands, and each grabbed a drink as they all toasted their hundredth birthdays.
Kathy had made a couple of calls, and the group made their way out of the place, leaving a middle aged crowd behind for a night in the old folks home.


What do you do now?

  • No options available - Create your own addition below!

Title suggestions for new chapters. Please feel free to use them or create your own below.

Write a new chapter

List of options your readers will have:

    Tags:
    You need to select at least one TF type
    Tags must apply to the content in the current chapter only.
    Do not add tags for potential future chapters.
    Read this before posting
    Any of the following is not permitted:
    • comments (please use the Note option instead)
    • image links
    • short chapters
    • fan fiction (content based off a copyrighted work)
    All chapters not following these rules are subject to deletion at any time and those who abuse will be banned.


    Optional