The die stopped rolling. Five of the sides disappeared, and the remaining side rotated so Logan could see it. It was a one.
"Oh sweetie, that's just sad," the witch said.
"I can't tell if you're mocking me or genuinely sorry for me, and I don't know which would be scarier," Logan admitted, hanging his head.
"Aw, don't worry. I mean, worry, because that's a critical failure, but also don't worry." the witch said, turning Logan around and pushing the goggles back onto his forehead, "I actually do feel sorry for you. This encounter was pretty much bullshit. I'll go easy on you."
"Um, thanks. What does going easy on me actually mean?" Logan asked.
"Don't get ahead of yourself. We haven't even been introduced yet." the witch said, pulling the door closed and turning back to her foyer. She waved her hands and a table and two chairs appeared, "Let's sit down."
"Thank you," Logan said, still trembling as he went over to sit down.
The witch teleported into her seat and looked at Logan expectingly. He figured it couldn't really get worse, and sat down across from her.
"So, let's start over. My name's Morgana, and I'm a professional witch." Morgana said proudly, puffing out her chest like she was being awarded a medal. It mostly served to draw Logan's eye back to her cleavage, "What's your name?"
"Me? I'm Logan. I'm just a college student," Logan said.
"Ooh, a student. What are you studying?" Morgana asked, sipping from a teacup that definitely was not there a moment before.
"Biology. Animals, specifically. I want to be a ranger when I'm out of school. Save the wilderness and all that," Logan said in a practiced and level tone. He had said the whole thing a million times before, and even an hourglass shaped psycho witch wasn't enough to make his spiel any more exciting.
"Ranger huh? I used to roll with one of them. We were quite the duo, the two of us. So long as the fighter was around to soak up the damage that is," Morgana said, getting a dreamy look in her eye.
"Wait, you were part of a party? Like, an adventuring party?" Logan asked.
"Master level witches don't grow on trees. I was part of the best adventuring party in the world. We went our separate ways a long time ago, but I held on to every scrap of experience, every minor spell, and every gold piece I earned with them. Of course, when you're a powerful enough character to be an end boss, money is no object," Morgana said, turning her teacup to solid gold.
"Why the princess capturing then?" Logan asked.
"Something to do with my retirement. It's exciting, but risk free, gets me out of the tower, lets me meet new people, then kill them. It's the total package," Morgana said.
"Risk free? Aren't you afraid someone will eventually beat you?" Logan asked.
"Oh, of course. That's why I cut a deal. I'm not a campaign boss, no no, that would get me killed permanently. I'm a board game boss. I just come back afterward so the next players can come after me," Morgana said.
"Let me get this straight. You kidnap a princess because it makes you immortal?" Logan asked.
"Right on the money. Now, I do believe I know what to turn you into now," Morgana said, pushing her chair back from the table and standing up.
"You do?" Logan asked, quivering in fear.
"Oh yes. See, you've gotten me all nostalgic about the good old days, so I think we can help each other. How would you like to work for me? Assuming of course that I've convinced you by now that I'm not actually evil, just pragmatic," Morgana said.
"Work for you? But then I wouldn't win," Logan blurted out, mentally kicking himself immediately after.
"Not true. The technical goal of the mission is to rescue the princess. That doesn't necessarilly mean killing me. Granted, I won't make it entirely easy on you, that would ruin both our fun, and you are playing a game after all. But I would love to have an extra set of eyes and ears around the tower. So, you work for me, and I send you along with the only ingame effect of our encounter being that you gained the ranger class," Morgana said.
"That sounds too good to be true," Logan said.
"Oh, it is. See, I would still have to actually transform you, or your companions would get suspicious. Like I said, I'll go easy on you," Morgana assured.
Logan thought for a moment, "Well...