Mm, there's a tall glass of milk on the table next to the cookies. Well, you know that there's no such thing as Santa, so you decide to help yourself.
The milk is warm and thicker, must be whole milk. You lick the white goodness off your upper lip. You finish the glass of milk, and belch.
"Mooooooo!" is the sound that comes out.
The glass slips from your hand, as you no longer have fingers to hold it with. Your fingers have fused together, and a horny substance is growing over your new hoof.
"Mooo?" you say in alarm.
You head hurts. You raise your hoofed hands to your head. You feel nubs erupting from your skull.
You rush to a mirror. You've got breasts! You rip open your shirt. You have two sagging breasts with enormous nipples. They are slowly descending down your torso. You take off your pants. Your penis sticks out and looks like the two giant nipples descending toward it. All that mess fuses. You now have three udders. You're not sure which is a nipple and which is a penis or if they're both.
"Moo!" you sigh in panic.
The door swings open, and our red suited friend enters gleefully saying, "Mwahohoho, you started without me. No matter. I've got your gift here, a cowbell for a cow-boy."
"Moo?" you say. Cowboy? You always wanted to be a cowboy, not a cow-boy.
"Ah, 3 udders? Should be four. I can fix that!" he says grabbing one of your udders. Ah, now you know which one is the penis -oh, ah, ooooooh! He yanks and suddenly, there are four, and your udder is swollen and making a sloshing sound.
"MOOOOOOO!" you exclaim in ecstasy.
"Milking time, by the looks of things," he says pulling the rope that he put around your neck when he put the cowbell on you.
You follow the strange buff Santa out of your door, and naked down your steps. Your skin is white with black spots now. You are an anthropomorphic cow with a broad male torso, but a big udder at your crotch, and a swishy tail.
He leads you down toward the river. You recognize Jack's house, where the college eight man crew resides.
"Already been here, and they're expecting you," he says tying your rope to the door knob, and knocking.
The door swings open, buff Jack is there, but this odd Saint Nick has already visited. Buff Jack is wearing a rubber Heidi dress with white apron, but the skirt is super short with a 4 foot wide skirt, more like an umbrella than a skirt. You are at the bottom of the steps, and really nothing is left to the imagination from where you stand.
"Oooo!" says Jack in a falsetto voice, "Girls, we've got a cow-boy! Get the pails!"
"Ooooo!"
"OOoooo!
"Ooola, la!"
Eight rubber maids escort you into the former crew house, which seems to now be a big barn inside. There are eight little stools.
"Let the milking commence!" Jack exclaims.
"MOOOOOO!" you say.