Eddie and Ty snored contentedly, curled up in a thick fog of reefer in the back of the VW Bus. After a long night of hookups and parting, they decided not to go all the way home, but to park by a curb and crash. As the sun rose high in the sky, Eddie wrinkled his nose as a dreadlock slid past his cheek, retracting back into Tyler’s head. As his snoring grew deeper, his skeletal chest expanded with muscle, a dusting of hair coating his abs and shelflike pecs. The bus began to shrink around them, leaving them tangled in the much smaller backseat of Tyler’s Honda. They awoke with a start and scrambled apart.
“What the fuck happened last night?!” shouted Ethan, “And who the hell are you?”
“I’m Ty! Well, I’m Tyler. But I was… I don’t know. Where’s Eddie?”
“I AM Eddie!”
“No, the stoner guy with the goatee.”
“I… I think that was me. What’s going on?”
“I have no idea man. All I know is that I was about to flirt with you, then… bam. Hippie city.”
“Flirt with me? Sorry man, you’re not my type. I… like girls, anyway.”
“Yeah, sure. I might not know exactly what’s going on, but I’m pretty sure it only works on gay guys.”
Ethan shoved Tyler roughly aside. “Look, you don’t know me. Now take me home before I call the cops.”
Tyler clambered into the front seat and started the car. “I’m sorry. We’re both scared and confused. I didn’t mean to sound accusatory.”
Ethan glowered, buckling his seatbelt. “It’s 310 Linden Way.”
“I know.”
“How do you- Nevermind. I don’t want to know the answer to that.” He fell into a stony silence.
Ty was shaking. He’d spent the whole night with Ethan Miller! Granted, it wasn’t quite in the way he’d anticipated, but still. Score! He watched Ethan in the rearview mirror. He was dressed for sleep in a plain white V-neck and gym shorts, but he still looked hot as hell. His hair was tousled but that just made him even sexier… Tyler could feel the hear rising in his cheeks as he grew stiff in his jeans.
He snapped out of his reverie and looked back toward the road, narrowly avoiding hitting a parked car.
“Hey man, could you keep your eyes on the road?”
“Sorry sir, many apologies,” Tyler said in a thick Middle Eastern accent. “My wife says I would forget my head if it wasn’t attached to me.”
“What the fuck happened to your voice? And you’re married? …Tyler? Tyler, what’s happening?”
The interior of the Honda faded into shabby, patched vinyl as the outside became bright yellow. The radio station changed from Top 40 to clangy sitar music as a taxi meter burst from the panel, counting off the miles. Tyler was talking, telling some anecdote about his wife, not noticing as his belly slowly inflated beneath his shirt. Ethan watched in horror as he changed, shrinking to a height of 5’6” as his ass, thighs, and jowls expanded too. His shirt ripped open, revealing a thick, trunklike torso with a beer belly.
His pale skin began to fade to a dark brown pigment, which spread from his face down his entire body, down his limbs, and all the way to his fingertips. His fingers plumped up as the nails broadened, becoming square and clean. Thick black hair sprouted from his knuckles as a gold wedding band wrapped around one of his sausagelike fingers. The hair spread up his wrists, thickly thatching his meaty forearms. His chest exploded with a mat of dark, curly hair that spread in an even block past his navel and disappeared into his jeans. His upper lip sprouted a thick mustache that rippled as he spoke, shiny teeth glinting in his mouth.
His lips plumped, his eyes darkened to a chocolate brown, and his trendy blond hair elongated into a simple, neat cut, rippling into coal black with flecks of grey. The shredded shirt mended itself around his thicker torso, becoming a crisp uniform shirt, tufts of hair poking out of the collar. A gold watch wrapped around his wrist, completing the transformation.
The sun visor flipped down, revealing a cab driver Id bearing the name Taalim Abboud. Ethan looked around, wide-eyed, wondering what he could possibly do about the situation he now found himself in. He decided to keep his mouth shut and run over the events of the last night in his head. He remembered everything. The drugs, the party, the carnal lust with which he ravished those women. Women he now found trashy and repulsive. And then he’s woken up with another man for the first time in his life. Tyler wasn’t exactly a looker, but the effect was the same. And how could this kid possibly know he was gay? He had worked so hard to hide it all his life…
Then again, a lot of unbelievable things had been happening. So he shouldn’t have been surprised by a few more. He retreated into a favorite fantasy of his, imagining waking up in the arms of a rippling hunk. His firm ass would press into Ethan’s crotch and they would begin to kiss…
Ethan smiled, then suddenly grimaced as he was wracked with a wave of nausea. The thought of kissing a man suddenly made him sick to his stomach. Kissing someone with stubble was a disgusting thought and besides, why would a fag want to deny themselves the wonders of breasts unless it was out of some sick, perverted need for attention?
Ethan clutched his head, trying to keep his mind straight. “I’m Ethan. Ethan. Ethan Miller. Just me. I’m going home.” Ethan’s cell phone rang and he answered it with a deft flick.
“Edward Miller here.” The person on the other line was babbling about some sort of campaign finance coalition something or other. It was all going straight over his head. In fact, it was kind of giving him a headache. His palms grew sweaty and his vision blurred, until all of a sudden the world snapped back into focus again. Edward adjusted the fashionable prescription sunglasses that appeared over his eyes as he began to answer his frazzled campaign manager’s questions.
“Yes, we need to take a firm stance on tax reform, but the main issue at the debate needs to be marriage. My platform is built on family values and we need to make sure those queer perverts stop soiling the sacred institution…”
As he talked, unbeknownst to him, Edward sat taller in his chair. His coiffed hair lost its sheen as it shrank back into a neat, styled cut. The brown color slowly faded into a dazzling blonde as his five o’-clock shadow receded into its follicles. He blinked and his eyes shone a dazzling blue, as his nose and chin broadened into a strong, manly face.
Beneath his clothes, his muscles lost some definition, but his shoulders cracked and lengthened as he filled out with a broad, powerful torso. His white shirt thickened, gaining layer upon layer until it grew into a starched button-down, topped with a jacket affixed with a US flag pin. His shorts snaked down his legs as they inflated, becoming dark black trousers over shiny dress shoes. He felt a tug in his pants as his penis grew an inch, the force of which pulled his body hair back into his now thick chest and abdomen, reducing it to sheared stubble.
“Yes, we’ll discuss it when I get to Washington. I’m at LAX now. Talk soon.” With that, Edward flipped shut his phone, tipped his cab driver, and strode confidently off through the thronging crowed, clutching his leather briefcase.