“Look, I think it’s best if you come back with me and help me out before I change you back - these keys seem to have completely random results. Or there could be a pattern, I just don’t know!”
Stephen almost splashes water as he yells back, “what could be worse than being a toilet!?”
Before you start pointing the keys willy-nilly, you reach down past Stephen and pick up the tupperware box of shit.
Steve gurgles and his handle tilts, “what’s that?”
“The reason why I don’t think I should try to change you back just yet,” you explain.
Stephen’s handle lowers a bit while his tank tilts slightly. You take that to be a skeptical look, it’s hard to tell since he’s a toilet.
“See, the box used to be a cop, and this shit inside it? That was my friend.”
“Your friend is..?”
“Stuck as dogshit, yes. If I try using the keys on you again, you could end up a lot worse than a toilet. So come back with me and help me try to figure out the trick to using these keys?”
Stephen doesn’t say anything at first. You get worried, you’re not sure if he’s thinking or stopped being animate.
“Stephen..?”
“Alright, I’ll come with you.”
Oh thank god.
You put the box back down and drive home very carefully, worried about Stephen splashing his gross toilet water inside your new car.
When you park up, you tell Stephen to stay put before getting out of the car, walking around to the passenger-side door, and carefully lifting him out. You don’t want him trying to hop out and shattering his porcelain body, or worse, splashing your car with toilet water.
When you put him down, he starts shuffling and trying to walk. The sight is utterly surreal. Surely you can’t let anyone see your walking talking toilet. You're going to have to heft him all the way inside and hope nobody notices...
By the time you've convinced Stephen to let you carry him, you have a nagging feeling you're forgetting something but you're not sure what. That feeling is soon replaced in your mind as the heaviness of the toilet starts taking its strain on you. It'd be so much easier to carry if it wasn't full of water. How come it's full of water? It's not even plummed in. You wonder if it can flush without being installed. The distraction helps you deal with the strain of carrying the toilet, however...