“Why me,” You mutter to yourself. “Why is all these crazy crap happening to me???” After dodging the entrance booth to the pool, you hide in a clump of trees down by the front entrance. This, at the very least, gives you a place to hide until you can figure out what to do next. After all, how often do you end up trapped outside in your birthday suit?
You'll probably never forget the feel of the rough brick on your bare feet and the cool night air on your bare skin. Running naked outside is more than a little weird, by the way. You're barefoot and there's no clothes against your skin and the air is tickling you in places you're just not used to. It's not bad, it just feels...well, weird. You'd probably have liked it if you hadn't been so scared at the time. It felt like you was trapped in a dream. In your mind the whole scenario was as exciting as it was frightening and you must confess to yourself that a little part of you couldn’t decide if you should be happy or terrified!
The bad news is that it took you a few minutes to come up with a plan on how to get home; the good news was at least now you had a plan on how to get home. You remember there was a series of alley ways that connected the neighborhoods together, passing behind each house and giving access to the various garages and carports. The problem was getting there. You couldn't slip around the side of the pool because of some stupid iron gates. The other buildings were similarly protected, surrounded by privacy fences and walls too difficult for you to maneuver around.
As much as you hated to do it, you had to go even closer to the street and follow the sidewalk past several houses in search of access to the alleys. You were very lucky in that it was now late enough at night that there was very little traffic and you could hear cars in plenty of time to hide when they came rolling by. You were also fortunate that there were all sorts of gates and shrubbery to use as concealment.
Ironically, the first house you found with an open yard that led to the alley belonged to, of all people, Hailey! The girl who'd helped to strip you earlier! You really didn't want to risk seeing Hailey – well, her seeing you again, to be more accurate – but you were desperate to get away from the main street. As you tiptoe along the front yard and hide in the shadows next to her house, you wonder what she would think if she knew right then and there that you were anywhere near her in your bare skin again!
“She’d probably call the police on me, too, just like everybody else,” You whisper to myself. "I’m gonna get caught, I just know it. And that’s not gonna be good when I am.”
As you creep between the shadows and the bushes you can hear voices inside the house. It sounded like Hailey and her partner talking, though it might have been one of her older sisters for all you knew. You couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but you were convinced they were talking about you. This was utter nonsense, of course; there was absolutely no reason for any of that to be true, but by that time your paranoia was on full throttle.
Somehow you made it through the back yard to the alley without giving yourself away. Padding along in your bare feet, you dart from this hiding place to that, as fast as you can, using trash bins, cars and gates as cover. It's a terrifying journey through shadows and darkness; behind every mysterious shape was a monster or some other evil creature bent on grabbing you and doing heaven knew what. You were scared to death you’d get caught, but you never saw anyone and were pretty sure nobody saw you.
Then you got to the street that separated this neighborhood from yours. You timed everything out just right, watched the traffic and came up with a great plan. Okay, well, a pretty good plan. Being so late, the traffic wasn’t nearly as bad as it was earlier in the afternoon, so that wasn't much of a challenge. The biggest problem was the street lights, but you found a place where the trees cast enough of a shadow to keep your pale, naked hairless body from being seen.
It took a few minutes for you to work up the courage to make the crossing. You waited in the dark, trembling with fear, and watched until there weren’t any cars in sight. Then, quite suddenly, you step out of the shadows, off the curb and across the street to the shadowy doorway in front of you.
As you walked along in the shadows, the cool night air tickled your bare bottom and privates, raising goosebumps and constantly reminding you of your pitiful state of undress. You were as embarrassed as you were worried about what might happen next. To make matters worse, your feet hurt from walking barefoot on the rough pavement in such a hurry. Each step you take was as painful physically as it was emotionally.
Fate was on your side, thank goodness. You don’t remember seeing anyone on your race home, and your pretty sure no one saw you. After a bit you had to slow down, you’d worn yourself out; trembling and weak-kneed, you padded carefully along the sidewalk, grateful to have made a successful if not less than graceful public street crossing in the nude. Still, you wasn’t quite home free; you were a lot further from home than you'd first thought, which meant you were going to be outside naked a lot longer than you ever thought you’d want.
“This isn’t so bad now, I guess,” You whisper as you dart from tree to tree and kept close to the shadows.
When you got to your neighborhood your progress became more complicated again. You found the alley that led to your apartment complex, which took you out of most of the danger. That also meant the smooth pavement turned to gravel, which slowed you down considerably; you had to walk carefully, to both protect your bare feet and to keep the crunching noise to a minimum. More than once you woke up a dog, triggering a series of annoying howls, yapping and growls, and a couple of times you saw curious homeowners looking out their windows to see what the noise was about. The way was dark and eerie as heck, just as scary as anything out of some dark fairy tale or a horror film.
When you finally did make it home without being seen, the ordeal had left you shaken, almost traumatized. You were exhausted but thrilled. You’d just completed the most difficult challenge of a lifetime and I was torn between terror and pride. All you had to do was go inside and you’d be home free.
As you approached the door, you were suddenly blinded by something very bright. That’s when you realized that you had accidently triggered the motion activated security lights. The entire front façade of the building was lit up like it was bright daylight, from the walkway all the way down to the street. That puts you in the spotlight, literally; but instead of being in the privacy of your apartment building you were out front where any of the neighbors and passersby could see me!
To make matter even worst, as you stared at the keyhole on the face of the doorknob your stomach fell as you realized for the first time there was absolutely no way for you to get inside the building; your key was still in your pants pocket. The very same pants that were now in Hailey's possession. In her house. In another neighborhood. Almost a mile away.
It was at that very moment that a car approached your building. You could tell from the headlights that it was your building super’s car. For an instant you couldn’t figure out why he was coming home so late, but then you realized it must have taken nearly an hour to make the trek back. But none of that mattered. If I didn’t do something – and fast! – the building superintendent was about to catch me standing outside our building in my birthday suit and you'd very probably be evicted!
All you could think was: “Oh, jeez, why me? Why meeee …?”