Okay, so there you were, completely and totally exhausted following a traumatizing nocturnal clandestine trek across town in naught but your birthday suit, locked out of your apartment building with no key, no clothes, no way to get in and no chance of escape as the building superintendent's car pulled into the driveway. Oh yeah, it was the super’s, all right; you could tell from the headlights and the rattle of the engine as it shut off. A million horrible thoughts raced through your panicked brain, causing your knees to go weak with fear and your bladder to ache.
The car door opened and somehow you managed to slip off to the side and hide in the shadows without being seen – or peeing yourself! All you could think at that moment was how did you get yourself in these stupid situations!!!???
At first it seemed as if you had only seconds to spare, but once you was in hiding things slowed way down to the point of agony. It took forever for the super to get out of the car, make his way up the steps and open the front door. Then he lingered about for another couple of minutes before going inside. You couldn’t see why he was taking so long, but the anticipation was so painful you almost shouted at him to hurry up! That would have been really awkward, no doubt.
Squatting uncomfortably in the cold night air with your bare bottom resting against the damp grass, your feet squishing about in the wet soil, you were really frustrated as your mom loitered just inside the entrance. Adding to your worries was the possibility that he might lock the door behind him; if that happened, there would be no way into the building and you would be truly in trouble!
For an instant you didn’t know what to do. Then a sudden thrill hit you as you realized that he'd left the front door ajar. That meant you had a slim chance and maybe, just maybe, you could pull this off after all!
You thought you saw the super head upstairs. Thank goodness the lights were on and caught his attention, or else things might have been more difficult, but in this case it worked to your advantage. You only had a few seconds to act. Your heart went pitter-patter in triple time as I approached the door. Thank goodness it was still open, but just barely. You were able to slip inside without any noise or raising an alarm. You still didn't know what you were going to do, but at least you were inside and closer to your own home. Now I just had to figure how to get to your apartment without getting caught.
Only when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs did you finally panic. You briefly considered jumping into the janitor's closet, but changed your mind at the last minute and darting for the space under the stairs. Somebody came down and out the main door before you could consider your next move. Only once the unknown somebody had left the building and had slammed the main door firmly shut did you pounce. In quick succession; You jumped out of your hiding place, sprinted up three flights of stairs to your front door, fumbled to get your spare key out of it's cubby hole, unlocked the door and darted inside your apartment before you could even think about you were going to accomplish all of the previous events.
As you struggeled to catch your breath, you looked down at your feet, which were spotted with dirt and mud. You lifted them up and saw the dirty soles, further proof that you'd been running around outside barefoot and bare bottomed. There were probably some very noticeable footprints out there, but you were too afraid of being caught to check. "If anyone asks...just deny all knoweldge of it." You said aloud to yourself. It was at that moment that you realised that you were totally naked in your living room, the same exact room where you'd entertained adult friends and where your mom had had her church group over for tea and cookies that one time. Girls – some that you'd known from school and some from Sunday school! – had been in this room…and here you were, right in the middle of it with you bare bottom and privates totally exposed! "Never again." You said, sounding relived.
Grateful that the ordeal was simply over, you quickly hopped into the shower and scrubbed your feet, and everything else for that matter, clean to within an inch of their lives. Almost as if you wanted to erase all trace of the previous day from existance, as well as your memory. Tired, you didn't even put your P.Js on. You just collappsed onto the bed and fell into a dead sleep, simply hopeing for a better day tommorow.