"And she was all, 'the okd people want you to put a baby inside me, so let's do it tonight.' " the curly red haired comedian chuckled as he talked about the night he had with the girl he was paired with.
"I'm making progress with Paige." the other guy said. He was skinny with slicked brunette hair wearing a black tailored suit.
"How'd you deal with her, Nathan?" the red head asked.
"Simple, I am suave, persuasive, and so...So...SO.... COULD YOU EASE UP ON THAT RACKET!" Nathan yelled.
He grabbed the shoulder of the chubby black haired man whose intense grip on the fridge handle made it creak. The face that greeted him had dark bags, bloodshot eyes, and an expression of mortified disgust seemingly painted on.
"Hey, first in place for saving the human race!" the red head chuckled, "Sleep well?"
"I MIGHT NEVER SLEEP AGAIN AFTER TONIGHT..." Colin said in a tone of disgusted regret.
"It couldn't have been that bad, why Lawrence here..."
Nathan was cut off as Colin grabbed his shoulders. "NOT A BIG DEAL?! I had my virginity, my innocen... my pur... I ended up with a woman whose had three kids for God's sake!"
"Easy buddy boy. Ol' Larry here's got some comfort for you: you ended up with a nice lady." the read head said, "She got up an hour ago and made you a fancy breakfast."
"I WAS VIOLATED BY - wait, what kind of breakfast?" Colin asked, finally stopping his freak out.
"Go look for yourself." Larry said.
Colin went to the table and saw a large tray set out for him: Sausage links, sunnyside up eggs, french toast with raspberries and powdered sugar, a wedge of brie, a cup of orange juice, and a card sitting on a tray.
Colin gawked at the plate and picked up the note:
"Thank you for last night. This is something I made in appreciation for giving me a new start as a mother. I'll see you later, dear.
~ Adeline
P.S. I want to go over baby names with you tonight."
Colin rolled his eyes at the sappy nature of the letter and took a bite of the french toast. His eyes widened extremely as his brain exploded from the rich flavor. He began horking down everything, the creamy cheese, the savory sausage, the yolky eggs, it was all delicious! His mom was a great cook, but this put her's to shame!
"Maybe this won't be so bad afterall..." Colin said as he finished up and headed for the backyard. He joined the other guys in shooting some chained up bimbos to pratice aiming and hitting vulnerable spots of a bimbo's body; Colin shot weakspot after weakspot, causing him to get drenched in bimbo blood.
"He's a keeper." Larry's new girlfriend told Adeline.
The older woman sighed and smiled awkwardly as she saw the chunky gamer take the top score in the training session. "He certainly is..."
*****
Colin didn't think he'd be back in his own neighborhood anytime soon. Turns out, Jack planned on taking the top five trainees there to steal ('retrieve') food and such. Colin saw an opportunity to grab his Nintendo 3DS while they searched his house.
So the chunky gamer took a pistol (with silencer, of course), let Adeline kiss him on the lips for good luck, and headed over in Jack's truck.
The team split up as Colin slipped through his fence and took down the bimbo at his back door with a bloody, crunchy shot to the head. He went inside and took out his large sack and began stuffing it with his clothes, and moved on to stuff his 3DS games and 3DS in as well. Then he heard a voice ask, "What'cha got there?"
It was....