Chad sat alone in the spotless shiny clean private bathroom. He had been human, he had really been human. He should've known it was too good to last. At least he had new solid gold nuts. Well, they probably weren't solid gold. Though glancing around the fancy surroundings, maybe they were: the floors were polished green marble with white inlays like a football field; the handles for the sink faucet looked like the gold football players off the tops of trophies; the light fixtures were shaped like footballs; the toilet paper roll dispenser was inside a real SF 49'ers football helmet; a SF 49'er's jersey hung on the wall Kingman 14. Kingman? He must be a new player, thought Chad. But the name sounded familiar. How long had he been a toilet anyway?
Well, it was kind of nice not have a strange cock or ass filling him every few minutes, it gave him time to think. Damn, how boring it was not to be used. When you're a toilet there's not much else you can do. He sighed. He supposed this was an improvement, of sorts.
Kingman? Hm?
The door opened, and the goatee guy entered carrying a box of marking pens. Oh, great, thought Chad. Then it hit him.
"Kingman?" he gurgled.
The goatee guy blinked, and froze.
"So you remembered!" he laughed, "Not that it will help you toilet boy. Hard to believe you cost me the state championship 10 years ago, but now I've got two Super Bowl Rings, and you, you are just a toilet bowl. Hahaha!"
Kingman had been the quarterback and captain of the team Chad's team had beaten in the finals. They were undefeated until then. Kingman had vowed revenge, now Chad wondered if Kingman had been responsible for all this?
"Now that you're a respectable throne for a King-man, like me, I'm going to mark your new seat accordingly."
Up until his new transformation, Chad had been a standard commercial toilet without a lid, just a u-shaped seat. Now he had a plain un-graffitied lid. Kingman was changing all that. On the surface when the lid was closed, Kingman wrote: "Kingman's Krapper". On the inside surface when the lid was up, Kingman wrote Chad's number 23. In smaller print under the number, he wrote, "Dump A TD in Chad!" And drew a vaguely brown football shaped object with an arrow pointing toward Chad's bowl. He then wrote on a piece of paper, "Be sure to mark the Chad Toilet after using him!"
Then he stood up, and pulled down his shorts and sat down on Chad and began to piss. A minute or so later, he began to grunt and pushed out a log, and some pebbles. Chad hadn't eaten in over a day, so he was quite happy. Still, he was a bit disappointed in Kingman's output.
Kingman flushed, Chad said his name as the water drained, and then Kingman took a black marker and wrote on one of Chad's new gold nuts, "CHAD". He laughed. Turned off the fan and light, and left Chad in the dark with the faint stench of Kingman's "touchdown".
"Is that the bathroom?" Jayson asked one of the waiters, as he carried a tray of Champagne glasses over to the bar in the Billiards room. He had heard the flush.
"Not for us," replied the waiter who was adjusting his tie and jacket, "We use the one off the kitchen. Karl can show you."
Goatee guy emerged from the bathroom with a big grin on his face. Now Jayson knew where Chad was.