Jayson and Kayne spent an hour preparing the lettuce and veggies for the salad. Then, Maurice saw they were idle, and had Kayne arrange the glassware on the tables that the others had setup, and he ordered Jayson to go check the vans for a special box.
"Now you, our host is a stickler for details. I mean who throws a party to celebrate getting a new toilet?" Maurice said shaking his head, "But he pays well, so it's my job to make the occasion memorable. So I need you to get this box, it's big, not heavy, it's custom toilet tissue with Sports Trivia and symbols printed on it. The box is marked in red ink "TD TP", for touchdown toilet paper. Anyway, get it, and meet me in the billiard room, and for God's sake don't tell anybody, this is one of my surprises for the host."
Jayson was elated. He was going to be able to get to Chad now. He had two cans of reanimation spray stashed on his person. He walked fast, almost running to get to the vans. He checked the first van, and the second, in the third van he found the TD TP box. It was heavier than he expected, but he hefted it, and carried it toward the house, and down the hall toward the billiards room. The two thugs were standing guard outside the door, and blocked his entry.
"Sorry cater kid, this room's off limits to the help," said the first thug blocking the doorway.
"Uh, Mr. Maurice told me to take this to him in the billiards room," Jayson said firmly,
"I don't care if Morris the Cat told you to go in there, you ain't going in there," the thug said with a fierce glare.
"What's the matter here?" demanded the butler who had appeared silently from apparently nowhere.
"Nothin' the matter. Your box boy is lost, I told him this room is off limits per the boss."
"Yes, I see," sighed the butler. Then turning to Jayson, he asked, "What's in the box?"
"Mr. Maurice told me to bring the box marked TD TP to him in the billiards room," Jayson said truthfully.
"Idjit," said the second thug slugging the first thug in the arm, "TP is toilet paper, TD TP is probably Touchdown Toilet Paper. You wanna explain to the boss why his guests ain't got toilet paper in the bathroom?" Then to Jayson, he said, "Go Ahead, but be quick!"
The butler looked relieved, and annoyed, he asked, "What is Touchdown Toilet Paper?"
"Please, Mr. Maurice said it's a surprise for Mr. Kingman, so please don't tell him. He had custom toilet paper printed for the occasion with sports stats and stuff. Promise you won't spoil the surprise?"
"Oh, Maurice, he is a real showman," laughed the butler, "Here I will show you where to stack the toilet paper, uh, oh, here's Maurice, I'll let him show you. Gentlemen, let Maurice and his assistant pass." Then to Maurice, he said, "Marvelous touch, Touch Down Toilet Paper, no worries, Guido, Frankie and I won't spoil the surprise. You know where the hidden cupboards in the bathroom are, Maurice? Carryon."
Maurice looked a bit flustered, but entered ahead of Jayson. After he heard the door close behind him, it's okay that you told the butler. I forget how ubiquitous he is. I probably should have told him about my surprise, but now that he's in on it, he'll keep it secret. Ah, here we are."
Maurice opened the bathroom door, and flipped on the light. He snorted and smirked, "I was expecting a solid gold toilet for all Kingman is spending-"
As the lights came on, so had the three TV screens mounted on the walls. Maurice had stopped speaking and stared as the video of the toilet being sprayed and becoming human, then being sprayed again and backing into this bathroom to become the toilet. Inanimation spray had been illegal for years, well, this explained why Kingman was celebrating acquiring this toilet. Did all his guests know who- oh, they would once they saw the bathroom. Maurice closed his eyes, who the fuck was Chad? When he'd researched the news articles for the custom Touch Down Toilet Paper Trivia, there had been some articles about a Chad?
"Kid, open the box and hand me a roll of toilet paper," Maurice ordered.